(a bit o.t.)you know you're a survivalist if....

greenspun.com : LUSENET : TimeBomb 2000 (Y2000) : One Thread

Your new girlfriend comes over for the first time and when she walks into the living room, the first thing that she sees is your CHL regulation man-sized target with 50 holes in the chest area.

Your dog has more Emergency Rations than 95% of the U.S. population.

You're the first person at the gun range on Dec 26th to check out your new toys (and they know you there by your first name).

The local supermarket manager knows to go ahead and open up the back dock doors when he sees you on a shopping trip.

Your home furnishings include contemporary "art deco" coffee and end tables by Ozarka, Sparklets and Rain Fresh .

Your home and property are more secure and better lit than Fort Knox or Area 51.

All the local restaurants know to save you all their 5 gallon buckets on Mondays and Thursdays.

None of your vehicles have electronic ignition or pollution control.

You know exactly what the term Y2K stands for and you also know exactly how many days are left until Dec 31, 1999.

The neighborhood association makes an appointment before dropping off the monthly newsletter.

You know the tail numbers of all the Helicopters in your area.

Your local city government holds an election in which only 14% of the population shows up, and you're surprised that the turnout is so good.

The magazines on your art deco coffee table include American Survival Guide, Guns and Ammo, Soldier of Fortune, American Rifleman, Shotgun News and 4 -Wheeler.

The books on your end tables include Brigade Quartermasters, Majors Surplus, Paladin Press, CBR decontamination and TEOTWAWKI.

You welcome a "mild" El Nino storm because you know it's going to fill your cistern.

The power fails in your local movie theater and you pull your mini mag from your belt and show yourself the way out.

You use your Gerber Tool to cut your steak at a fine dining establishment.

You ask every cashier that you run into if their computer systems are year 2000 compliant just to see their blank and confused expressions.

Your knife collection has its own footlocker.

When people ask about all those colorful maps on your walls, you tell them that you are planning a "Fishing Expedition".

You have the need to rent a Backhoe for a week WITHOUT the driver, but with a post hole digger attachment.

You can recognize the sound of a Generator from 4 blocks away, but you also know the brand, horsepower and the kilowatts per hour that it is putting out.

You have to kill a snake in your front yard, but then you skin it and eat it.

You open your freezer to stock some deer meat, but you have to remove all the batteries first.

You stock up on Kerosene and Firewood in 102 degree summer heat.

Your "homeschooled" children score in the 99 percentile on their SAT's.

Anything more to add?

-- zoobie (zoobiezoob@yahoo.com), December 09, 1999

Answers

Nothing to add, but I scored an 8. Do you know of any support groups? :-)

Stars and Stripes

-- Stars and Stripes (stars_n_stripes@my-deja.com), December 09, 1999.


zoobie, It's my cat and he's wearing a flak jacket.

-- Mara (MaraWayne@aol.com), December 09, 1999.

How about....you know you're a survivalist when...

Your husband really likes your camouflage underwear.

He refers to you proudly as, "My little sharp-shooter."

He bets on you in arm wrestling contests....and wins.

He cooks a mean rice and beans omelet.

He grins when you tell him you got a great deal on 55 gallon drums and spent what you saved on a great pair of Chanel tennis shoes.

He thinks it's sexy when you yell out, "State your business," when someone breeches the paremeter and triggers the tripwire.

He can't wait until the grid fails...he thinks kerosene lamps are romantic.

His big present to you on your anniversary is a solar powered TV with VCR so you can watch hours and hours of old Tracy/Hepburn movies.

-- Casey DeFranco (caseyd@silcom.com), December 09, 1999.


Your Dutch Ovens have names and you worry about their patina.

Your children actually like the taste of powedered milk.

You can power your ham radio five different ways...

Food storage is a way of life, not a one time event.

You can't find your credit cards, but your Costco/Sam's Club card is always in your wallet..

-- John (Readyornot@hereitcomes.com), December 09, 1999.


You hand your husband all of the money and tell him to get anything he feels he needs...and let him shop unsupervised.

-- helen (sstaten@fullnet.net), December 09, 1999.


you know you're a survivalist if....

you'd rather live than die.

-- Dave (dave@nospam.pls), December 09, 1999.


if... You have can 'o worms and can 'o crickets on the shelf for the pet reptile. (which we do!)

-- Charli Claypool (claypool@belatlantic.net), December 09, 1999.

Your backup's have backup's

Darn! Knew I was forgetting something....gotta lay up extra turtle food.

It's for FOR THE TURTLE, FOR THE TURTLE.......come on folks, I know what you were thinking.

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), December 09, 1999.


AAALLLLRRRIIIIGGGHHTT ZOOBIE!

I score more than I'd like to admit. Tammy wants me to teach her how to bowhunt...

I QUALIFY!

-- (Kurt.Borzel@gems8.gov.bc.ca), December 09, 1999.


Moderation questions? read the FAQ