So what happens when the smoker can't get his nicotine? the coffee addict his caffine? the boozer his pint? the junkie his heroin? the depressive his prozac?The schizophrenic his thorazine? the impotant his viagra? the hyperactive his ritalin? the crackhead his coke? the crankhead his meth? the pothead his joint? the junkfood addict his big gulp and chips?the stressed out her Darvon? the sugeraddict her twinkies? the chocoholic her Hersheys? the makeup queen her cosmetics? the politician his payoffs? the sex addict his conquests?The action flic addict his Ahhnold? the porn addict his smut? the couch potatoe his TV? the celebrity his adulation? The newsaddict his CNN? the daytrader his stock market? the computer geek his internet? the housewife her Opra? the workaholic his career?The sports nut his NFL? The gambler his videopoker????Geees!!what happens when we can't get our FIXES???

-- Ralph Kramden (And@AwayWeGo.com), December 04, 1999

Answers

Rolled Oats dipped in kero may give a good buz.

-- dw (y2k@outhere.com), December 04, 1999.

...The royal his mudwrestling videos?...

That's why they call it TEOTWAWKI, dude.

-- King of Spain (madrid@aol.cum), December 04, 1999.

Ralph, the answer: Real life. No more emotional bandages--- And, I really fear those smokers...... They're the ones who will really be on a rampage! Will Seattle just keep on sleeping without the continuous supply of coffee? We'll see! Most dangerous addiction: Modern americans to their easy, cushy lives! King of Spain: Got deep cycle batteries?

-- (formerly known as nobody@nowere.xxx), December 04, 1999.

Well,I for one plan to plant seeds.In addition to being a much healthier alternative to booze the seeds are the most complete protein known to man.food,fuel,paper,clothing,medicine,and recreation all from a plant that grows like a weed.It is the future of mankind's survival.

-- pothead (stoner@pothead.com), December 04, 1999.

I bought 20 cartons of smokes today as a matter of fact. 20 cartons. TWENTY. That's 4,000 cigarettes. That should last me,..oh..two months.

-- kritter (kritter@adelphia.net), December 04, 1999.

Not to downplay the true ravages of drug/alcohol addiction--I have witnessed its effects on friends and family and it is truly devastating. On the other hand we have this funny attitude in this land about pleasure being evil and "addictive." You're either pure and "free" of evil stuff like fat, sugar, coffee, cigarettes, beer, video games, and internet or you're a hopelessly depraved addict. No "in between" is recognized or tolerated. Was this a Puritan thing that we inherited as a culture? Or is it simply a marketing ploy to convince you that there is no difference between healthy moderation and overindulgence--and that if there WAS a difference you could not be trusted to find it.

Result? Since there is no accepted difference between overindulgence and moderation, people choose what is more "fun" with the same amount of social consequence: overindulgence.

I say grow up, world. We all have habits and cravings as part of our birthright as human beings. Satiation is a natural instinct. Why criminalize it?

-- coprolith (coprolith@fakemail.com), December 04, 1999.

Your thought has been on my mind a lot. What will the addict trade for his fix? Stored food will be traded for smokes if any are avialable. If you have a smoker in the house and stored food, this will happen. Nicotine is looked upon as a nasty habit, not the stigma of booze or street drugs, but has more addicting power than most people realize. I use to be a smoker and only a non smoker or smoker knows just how bad the addiction is.

-- Carol (glear@usa.net), December 04, 1999.

... the Cascadians their Forum addiction? ...

OW! Cold turkey on December 30th. Gonna be really painful. The thought of the upcoming loss HAS caused us to overindulge lately :-) Can't stop reading threads! Pulling the plug will be hell.

Make sure you are well enough prepared to stay out of the way of the mob going thru withdrawal out there ...

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), December 04, 1999.

Well 15 years ago I developed a sugar alergy (I am not a diabetic) and had to cut all sugar from my diet. WOW was that hard. Sugar is in everything.

And to top it off I am effected by dairy products so anything with milk has to be carefully moderated.

It made me realize that addictions come in more forms than just drugs.

-- Brian (imager@home.com), December 04, 1999.

So what happens when the junkie can't get his heroin?

We shot him. There'll be enough problems without having to babysit any junkies.

-- (deadeye@ohio.militia), December 04, 1999.

This is why i'm raising those toads that exude hallucinogens.

-- toad licker (lickin@the.toads), December 04, 1999.

Lots of addictions that are not related to substances. They are called "process addictions", and I would hazard a guess and say that just about everyone is "addicted" to some form of behavior (substances notwithstanding). Some common "process" addictions are: compulsive exercising (may be substance related due to releasing of endophins, which are body created opiates...runner's high), addictive shopping, addictive eating, addictive sexual activity, compulsive cleaning, thrill-seeking or trauma-addiction (adrenalin there),...the high is like none other. All of these may actually have a "substance" component, albeit endogenous substances released by the body when participating in the behavior.

There was a commercial years ago....with the final slogan: "Better living through chemistry!"

-- Donna (moment@pacbell.net), December 04, 1999.

My pampered butt is addicted to pillowy soft toilet paper

-- zoobie (zoobiezoob@yahoo.com), December 04, 1999.

I believe Nancy Reagan had the answer. "Just Say No" I quit tobbacco, pot, alcohol, and caffeine as part of my prep program over a year ago. Don't tell me that any serious GIs didn't include this scenario in their own plans? It was easier to quit one addiction at a time than all at once. Sort of like it's easier to fix computer failures if they occur over a protracted period of time instead of all at once.

-- ~***~ (~***~@earth.ebe), December 04, 1999.

Damn, I forgot the pillowy soft toilet paper.

-- ~***~ (~***~@earth.ebe), December 04, 1999.

I still smoke, although I quit at one time for 2 years. The reason I started back was easy availability at a time of high stress. I will be able to quit again, it just won't be pleasant (especially for those around me)! I will probably sleep away the few days of nicotine withdrawal. When not asleep, I will qualify as a one woman home defense system. I get mean and nasty for about a week when I quit smoking. Hubby will probaby wish he had a bunker that week. :-)

I have purchased cinnamon sticks so I will have something to 'draw on', I used them before. Nasty taste. With cigarettes, it is the psychological dependency that is hard to break. Even after two years of quitting before, I still had this urge to mug anyone I saw smoking and take their cigarettes. Ah well....

-- Dian (bdp@accessunited.com), December 04, 1999.

Uh, lots of people die for a couple of months, then we all get healthier?

Seriously though, the smokers do scare me the most; I kicked tobbacco last year, and although it was relatively easy the last time, the first three serious attempts were not fun. I could easily see how any real addict would have no compuction about taking a life for their fix in a possibly chaotic post-y2k world. Hell, they do it every day now! The only reason tobbacco addicts don't kill for a fix today is THEY DON'T HAVE TO.

-- cavscout (amazed@Idid.itforsolong), December 04, 1999.

Reminds me of the movie spoof "Airplane". Damn it's a bad day to quit smoking...glue...gasoline...

-- Learning to do without (Me@too.com), December 04, 1999.

"just say no" doesn't work for someone with asthma, MS, high blood pressure or diabetes. Get you folks some compassion. Alot of folks (including me) aren't going to make it if Y2K is bad.

One day your calleous attitudes will haunt you, count on it. What goes around does indeed come around.

-- Leslie (***@***.net), December 04, 1999.

From: Y2K, ` la Carte by Dancr (pic), near Monterey, California

... what Leslie said ...

-- Dancr (addy.available@my.webpage), December 04, 1999.

Ralph,

I used to run a drug treatment program for female inmates in a maximum security jail in VA. I can tell you most drug-related crimes that result in incarceration are not for hard core stuff like crack, heroin, meth.

This surprised me to learn from DOC, but the STONERS are the threat. The leading substance which contributes to crime is MARIJUANA USERS WHO HAVE RUN OUT OF POT FOR UP TO 30 DAYS!!!!

Guess the munchies just make um crazy.

-- Hokie (nn@va.com), December 04, 1999.

There's always sex. I think I will be able to feed my addiction to reading, there should not ab a shortage of books.

-- Cherri (sams@brigadoon.com), December 04, 1999.

"There's always sex."

-- Cherri,

But I smoke after sex!!!

-- smoking (puffing@tobac.co), December 04, 1999.

Patches people! Nicotine gum. You can be on those puppies for months or years if necessary. Gum is better because it's cheaper and you can make it stretch of you need to.

If ya' don't got smokes, make sure you've got plenty of ASPIRIN...and crunchy stuff, like hard candy or something to put in your mouth.

(4 months of Wellbutrin will also work wonders -- Zyban. Get some!)

Good luck.....

-- exsmoker (beenthere@donethat.com), December 04, 1999.

Leslie, Dancr, I am sorry.

I can say no more.

My parents are dependent on heart and blood thinner meds.

I'm a manic depressive. Next year will be hard, but not life threatening.

Fare thee well.

-- mushroom (mushroom_bs_too_long@yahoo.com), December 04, 1999.

Ralph, are you a chauvinist or what? Women are only addicted to Darvon, twinkies, chocolate, Oprah and make-up?

Give me a friggin break............equal rights to addiction

long before we had civilizations we had addictions, current adds will just be traded in for new ones. Most indigenous cultures knew how to get a buz naturally

-- might as well face it I'm addicted to love (karla@aol.com), December 05, 1999.