Happy Turkey Day to all. After traditional thanksgiving, convo turned to Y2K around the old table. Friend who is DWGI, very conservative and reluctant DWGI, shared that he went to cash his check last week and his bank was out of Hundreds. As in they didn't have any around, had to give him his money in 50's.

It has started. Keep prepping, you'll be glad you did later. Anyone else get any good turkey stories?

PS-don't even bother asking for the bank name and branch. Take my word for it or don't, I don't give a crap if you believe me or not.

-- Gordon (g_gecko_69@hotmail.com), November 26, 1999

Answers

Not all that unusual. i've had it happen over the past couple years a few times.

Chuck

-- Chuck, a night driver (rienzoo@en.com), November 26, 1999.

You want a turkey story? You got it!

Did you know that.......every year a week to ten days from Thanksgiving the flu season starts? Influenza (flu) is a bird disease.

When you handle a raw turkey to prepare it, you are exposed to the flu bug. Also, as those flu bugs remain on your kitchen counter top, your children will touch that area and get infected.

I'm a vegetarian and never get the flu. I never get flu shots. Vegetarians only get the flu when infected from a human who got the flu from a turkey.

Use rubber gloves when handling turkeys and wash and sterilize your counter top immediately after preparing the turkey.

Please forward this info to all your e-mail friends and lets stamp out the flu season next Thanksgiving!

-- freddie (freddie@thefreeloader.com), November 26, 1999.

Sure, freddie, now you tell us.

Hope you didn't have any chestnuts with your dressing...

-- Steve (hartsman@ticon.net), November 26, 1999.

There are always skeptics with anything! Check your newspapers 10 days from now. The proof will be in print. The news will tell you ten days from now that the flu season has started.

-- freddie (freddie@thefreeloader.com), November 26, 1999.

Well, between the turkeys & the chemtrails, I guess my number's about up anyway.

Question: Who uses hundred dollar bills anyway? To which merchant would you feel confident handing them, knowing you'll get correct change? I'm not sure I trust many clerks these days.

For Example:

A local police officer got into a big mess when he tried to purchase some fast food using a $20 bill. Believing the young clerk had short- changed him, he tried to arrest her. When the incredibly foul- mouthed little piece of work resisted (fought back quite violently), he pepper-sprayed her. Huge ugly stink, lawsuit, suspension, etc. etc. etc.

Plus he never did get his correct change....

Moral of the Story: NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER give a $20 bill to a fast- food clerk. Keep small change handy or else DON'T go to Micky D's.

And if all you have is a hundred, my advice would be, stay home.

-- just one (of@lifes.lessons), November 26, 1999.

"The news will tell you ten days from now that the flu season has started. "

Every morning, the rooster crows, then the sun rises.

Therefore, the rooster causes the sun to rise.

-- Anonymous99 (Anonymous99@Anonymous99.xxx), November 26, 1999.

I've got a turkey story, from a friend who used to work on a turkey farm in the UK. If you don't like thinking about how your turkey gets to the supermarket, stop reading now.

For most of the year, they killed the turkey as humanely as possible, taking them away one at a time to an efficient "head chopper" machine. But in the run-up to Christmas (which is traditionally a Turkey Day in the UK), they had to increase their output massively. Said friend was given a machete and Personal Protective Equipment and told to "Get in there and start hacking off anything that looks like a head". His description of the nightmare scene in which he had to slaughter an entire blood-drenched warehouse of several thousand frenzied turkeys who were attacking him and each other in their panic came as close as anything ever has to turning me veggie.

Happy Turkey Day!

-- Colin MacDonald (roborogerborg@yahoo.com), November 26, 1999.

Speaking of turkeys.Have you heard that the president gave a pardon to the whitehouse turkey?That's it.no joke.

-- zoobie (zoobiezoob@yahoo.com), November 26, 1999.

...that Clinton, he'll pardon anything...(wonder if the bird was wearing a blue dress....)

-- Billy-Boy (Rakkasan@yahoo.com), November 26, 1999.

Bold off? Semi-vegi.

-- Rob (rob@planet.rob), November 26, 1999.

Anyone concerned about animal suffering should remember that most domestic animals in the west are bred specifically for our tables, & owe whatever short lives they have to our appetites.

IOW, were it not for Thanksgiving, most of those turkeys would never have been hatched in the first place. Their lives are spent mostly gorging themselves with food; the suffering part is relatively small. Wow, that actually sounds like most people I know...!

-- getting (philosophical@about.animals), November 26, 1999.

Question: Who uses hundred dollar bills anyway? To which merchant would you feel confident handing them, knowing you'll get correct change? I'm not sure I trust many clerks these days.

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This "Terrible" dilemma can be prevented by learning the "evidently" rare skill of !!COUNTING TO ONE HUNDRED!!

-- MegaMe (CWHale67@aol.com), November 26, 1999.

"This "Terrible" dilemma can be prevented by learning the "evidently" rare skill of !!COUNTING TO ONE HUNDRED!!"

Once you've been short-changed, your counting skills won't help you.

You: "Hey, I gave you a hundred dollar bill, and you only gave me change for a 20."

Scum-wad clerk: "Wuddya talking about? You gave me a 20. Here it is. See? There's no hundred in my til. Go ahead & look."

You & the cops can search all you like, but your hundred is gone, gone, gone. Scum-wad clerk will later use it to buy drugs.

Meanwhile, you can count to a hundred all you like!

A word to the wise, if anyone wise is listening...

-- use smaller (bills@next.time), November 26, 1999.