FRLian Thanksgiving : LUSENET : TimeBomb 2000 (Y2000) : One Thread

FRLians, Posters, and Lurkers - lend me your monitors. It gives me great pleasure to give this FRLian Address for Thanksgiving (FAT) to all of you. I'm sure that some of us have had FAT on our minds at this special time of year.

Certainly, there are many, many things for us all to be thankful for--- too numerous to list. The Iroqouis people believed that the oldest human ceremony was that of giving thanks to the earth, which they referred to as 'Mother' of us all. Here is the traditional Iroqouis Thanksgiving Address:

We return thanks to our Mother, the earth, which sustains us. We thank thee, that thou has caused her to yield so plentifully of her fruits. Cause that, in the season coming, she may not withhold of her fullness and leave any to suffer for want.

We return thanks to the rivers and streams, which run their courses upon the bosom of our mother, the earth. We thank thee, that thou hast supplied them with life, for our comfort and support. Grant that this blessing may continue.

We return thanks to all the herbs and plants of the earth. We thank thee, that in thy goodness thou hast blest them all, and given them strength to preserve our bodies healthy, and to cure us of the diseases inflicted upon us.

We return thanks to the three Sisters (corns, beans, squash). We thank thee, that thou has provided them as the main supporters of our lives. We thank thee for the abundant harvest gathered in during the past season. We ask that our supporters may never fail us, and cause our children to suffer from want.

As we celebrate Thanksgiving this year, let us keep in the forefront, or foreback, or foreside, or somewhere very close to our immediate vicinity, how fortunate we have been - despite our troubles now and concerns for tomorrow. As with the Iroquois, we are thankful for the blessings of yesterday and today, and look with hope to the blessings of our tomorrows.

Happy Thanksgiving FRLians. Long Live the FRL!!!!

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@happy.thanksgiving), November 24, 1999


... not to mention thanking the three brothers (beer, pretzels and Thanksgiving football).

-- BigDog (, November 24, 1999.

Happy Thanksgiving to all you belated celebrators south of the border.

Thanks, Rob, for a wonderful thanksgiving prayer. I hope that Dear Mrs. Michaels doesn't drive you too hard or lock you in the basement again. :-D

SOBob, will you tell us the final count from FRL 12 (or whatever the last one was)?

If y'all don't make it in here tomorrow, I'll look for you on Friday.

-- Tricia the Canuck (, November 24, 1999.

Thank Providence for this Forum! May we all be able to use the abundant knowledge and skills gathered to ease the way for ourselves, our loved ones, and our brethren next year. A roast toast nutty cheer to the FRL! Happy ThanksGiving!

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (, November 24, 1999.

Mother Earth doesn't like Olde should maybe enunciate your benediction in one of the dialects of the primitives who used to wander her face before the advent of the European settlers....Ooma Gooma..or some other obscure tongue....she's does not take kindly to her rapists or their heirs....

-- Jay Urban (, November 24, 1999.

Night blankets the lake as the savage wind hisses over the cold stones and sends shredded clouds sailing through the sky. Tall naked oaks sway against the hidden stars as the storm gathers then breaks suddenly. Searing lightening blasts the Earth, the accompanying thunder roars through the valley and rolls over the hills. Blinding sheets of driven rain pour down as the thunder continues to growl and rumble and the wind shrieks.

Just as suddenly the tempest moves quickly away, to the east. A panoply of flickering stars is unveiled to warm and cheer the heart. It has come and passed. Thankfulness.

Another storm is coming, yet this too shall pass.

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@thank.ful), November 24, 1999.

Hey Jay- Gotta bird? Want one?

Yea, what A & L said, and a nutty toast roast to you too! It may be harder to find tangible things to give thanks for in the 00 zone, so I hope you FRLians have simply the bestest, coolest, neat-o-jet, holidays EVER! Thanks for all the ROTFLMAO's this past year. I've always kinda secretly wanted to join the FRLian foresters, but I'm shy. I'm quietly Chopin chords of stanzas, or stanzas and accords, or Nissans and Hondas, or fiords and ... HAPPY THANKSGIVING ALL!!!

-- Michael (, November 24, 1999.

Happy Thanksgiving And Many Blessings...

To One & All...

The Ancestors, Great Spirit And... All Creatures Great And Small.


(And for the beautiful post... this one's for you Rob...)

Many Blessings Of The Season... Great Grand Pubah FRLian!

[Psst... stand back FRL'ers!]

-- Diane J. Squire (, November 24, 1999.

Lettuce Welcome to the FRL our newest FRLians Jay and Michael! We are thankful for your posts :)

OOOOOOOOooooo and what's this I see? A drink of bubbly - Thanks Diane. Ouch! That cork is dangerous. Well now, time for a sip. MMMMMmmmm. Hahahaha. 'Nother sipp. Hic. Weeeeeeee. Dis is reallly goood Dinae. Wherez my drinkin dubby Hardlinre? hic. HAHHAAHAHAHa. 'nother bip. Zzzzzzzz. Weeeeeee. HAHAHAHAa. Hippy Tanksgrivink! hicpu. Dearr Mrrs. Michales hid my Dack Janiels soo I and wery tankful for the dubbly toniete. Zzzzzzz. hic. Harldiner ill savesum for yu budy Zzzzz hic zzzz zzz hicc zz z

-- (hicpu@wee.wee), November 24, 1999.

Rob, thanks for the beautiful imagery! I love it when you do that! :-)


-- Gayla (, November 25, 1999.

Rob, that was absolutely breathtaking. Our very best wishes to all on Thanksgiving Day.

A Magical Day Thanksgiving.

To Ponder The Seasons Living.

The Leaves Are Turning

Winter Is Yearning

To Take My Breath Away....

-- karla (, November 25, 1999.

to the top

-- Old (timer@helping.out), November 25, 1999.

Bring us to this Asylum, leave us here, we'll be happy, don't wanna leave. The ranks are swelling! WELCOME ;^) As the Count winds tighter fellow tick tock travellers feel the sweet pull of our special san sanity. Never have been so ThankFull! Crushing how desperately thankful.

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (, November 25, 1999.

Good morning all. I'm a bit hung over :) and Mrs. Michaels continues on her Thanksgiving dinner mission. We are all busy going this way and that getting everything ready - and no matter what, we always forget something! Uh oh, she's calling me now - gotta run. I'll be back later. Happy Thanksgiving All.

Well said A&L.

-- (sonofdust@helping.out), November 25, 1999.

remember: be thankful to your turkey

-- (turkey@day.blues), November 25, 1999.

Salutations FRL's!!!

Happy Thanksgiving to the pink and brown Furless apes from The Squirrel King!!!

-- The Squirrel King (StillNuts@upina.Thanksgiving.Tree), November 25, 1999.

So this is where Rob is getting the booze. I should have known. Well, it is a Holiday. Im sending you all some apple pie for desert. Hope this image works.

p.s. I still think all of you are crazy!

-- Marie Michaels (Marie@Robs.wife), November 25, 1999.

Marie, thanks for the pie - it was great! Oh, and if you've married one, don't birds of a feather flock together, or nuts of a shell as the case may be?

Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I gotta go work now, so I'll have to hear all about it tomorrow :-)

BTW, Welcome to all newbies and rarities (like you, Stan!)

-- Tricia the Canuck (, November 25, 1999.

Wow! Thanks Marie! That was really nice (well except for the crazy part!) LOL! Does this mean Rob has been banished to the car again? Try and overlook his messy kitchen habits. He means well... and after all, he's such a good writer, he shouldn't be in the kitchen anyway!

-- Gayla (, November 25, 1999.

Throwing a can of ghee into this mess. Or was it supposed to be glee? Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

Sincerely, Stan Faryna

-- Stan Faryna (, November 25, 1999.

Hi Gang. Marie came into the 'puter room' before when I was about to post to this thread and she ended up reading it. She liked the gifs (especially the waving turkey) and so I showed her where we get them and she said she wanted to give youz guyz a pie :) The rest is history. Speaking of rest, we just finished the cleaning up so now its time to relax a bit. Happy Thanksgiving FRLians!

Long Live our Fruitcake Freedoms!

Long Live the FRL!

-- (sonofdust@restful.sleep), November 25, 1999.

Lovely, lovely, lovely,...yesterday with my sweetie, my daughter and her fiance, and the meal both my sisters were also cooking and eating (I mean the identical mean down to the Pillsbury Crescent Dinner rolls). Then off to catch "Toy Story 2", going to the theater having become a tradition for us in the last few years.

Lovely also to find the FRLians here, the Chief mentioning Mother the Earth.

Very thankful this year.

She in the sheet, upon the hilltop,...

-- Donna Barthuley (, November 26, 1999.

The Squirrel King has infiltrated the FRL !!! Welcome, Great Furry Leader. The fowl are in hiding in the beaver dams, but they will come out to strengthen the Alliance as soon as people get really tired of eating turkey leftovers.

We went to see ToyStory2 yesterday but it was sold out. Saw Sleepy Hollow instead. That is a terrific movie! Whoa!

May the entire FRL be imbued with hues of thanksgiving, joy, kindness, and love throughout this Holiday season, even thru Rollover. Sanctuary, sanctuary!

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (, November 26, 1999.

Having recently returned from another dimension, the latest FRL thread (this one) was one of the first places I chose to visit. I was simply not up to posting anything, and I only lurked and soaked up as much of the atmosphere of the place as I could. It was immensely comforting and soothing to find you all still here and still the same warm, wacky and wonderful FRLians that I left behind.

It is VERY good to be home and I am looking forward to catching up on the latest FRL 'goings on'.

I am not so pleased with the situation that I found on the forum in general. It has indeed degenerated into the behemoth that many of us predicted and as I suspect that the sysops all lurk here (if indeed they are not charter members of the FRL as Diane), this is an appropriate place for me to voice my support of their recent initiative to restore a semblance of sanity and order to our beloved stompin' ground, the TimeBomb 2000 forum. If I may assist in that effort in any way, I will certainly do my best to deliver.

Finally, as imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, I'm going to flatter Chris and I do so by hereby petitioning our Fearless Leader, Rob, for 'retired' status. I will gladly accept 'special assignment projects', but I would prefer to operate from the FRL thread(s) as she does and stop bloodying my poor head by beating it against the wall of all the noise that the current crop of trolls is generating. What say, Rob?

To all of you in the FRL, a most sincere and heartfelt (if somewhat belated) wish that your Thanksgiving holiday is and was a very fine one.

FRL Forever!

-- Hardliner (, November 26, 1999.

Hardliner: O Great Master of Limericks and Astounding Story Teller, your request for 'retiredment' is hereby offcially approved :) Stop by when you feel the spirit move you. And I would ask that you consider another entry of Taker Thunderbolt before the End, as a special assignment if you will. Many have come and gone, yet the FRL remains Home, and it is where our hearts are. Welcome back, Hardliner - truly, you were missed, and we are thankful for your return.

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@welcome.back), November 26, 1999.

Hardliner, you really WERE missed! Welcome home! We've mentioned your name several times lately, wondering where and how you were. We even talked about missing you in the chat room. :-) You didn't happen to visit there one night, did you? There was this anonymous poster who remembered my Cinderella picture... Made me think of you.

-- Gayla (, November 26, 1999.

Hardliner, stay away from the dimension that takes you away!

Stealth fowl report: Most unusual, went to a Yourdynamite meeting this afternoon, Michael & us & a polly lurker, and afterwards, a sun-glimpse break from the rain: seagulls. Seagulls everywhere, swooping, flying, grouping, alighting. 100 miles inland from Pacific ocean. Michael thinks they blew in on the pineapple express storms we've been having. Not a single duck or goose in sight. No nutria or beaver either. And we were in a wetlands area. FLOCKS of seagulls. And all Autumn, much warmer than normal temperatures.

Squirrels, fat with glossy bushy coats, scampering everywhere. Really noticing the squirrels :-)

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (, November 26, 1999.

Hardliner, see if you can lure Dick of Dale here for a limmerick battle, please. I need some inspiration. Gotta work again tonight, but I'll check in tomorrow.

-- T the C (, November 26, 1999.

A&L: Thanks for the FLOCKS report. I am reminded of that old Hitchcock Movie called "The Birds" in which one of the characters kept saying (with an Irish accent I think) "It's the end of the world".

Tricia: Limerick battle? Sounds like fun ;) Don't work too hard now, we need you to be well rested for the limerick faceoff! And no typing flu allowed.

Hardliner: Almost forgot - I saved you some of that Bubbly - I know, not your favorite, but hope you will accept it in the SPIRIT intended.

-- (, November 26, 1999.

In honor of the re-tiredment of Hardliner,
I hereby write this quick five-liner,
It's not much of a limmerick,
Hopefully it will attrack Rick,
A face-off between those two nothing would be finer!
(Well I tried. Now Richard of the Dale can beat me easily then spar with Hardliner ;-))

A&L, I know too well that dimension. It's simply irrisistible. But then so can be this dimension. Both mind-warping. That's why I re-tired.

-- Chris (#$%^&, November 27, 1999.

In accordance with the stated wishes of several FRLians (at least partially), to see Richard of the Dale and myself pitted against each other in 'limerickeral' combat, I have just now sent the following EMail to Sir Richard.

The results of your various requests may not be exactly what you had intended when you made them, but chickens do come home to roost, etc., etc. and 'as ye sow, so shall ye reap'.

Sir Richard!

We had thought you lost! Along with most everyone else, I'm quite pleased to know that you were just out wandering around a bit!

I'm not certain if it had been formed prior to your leaving, but there's a rather powerful organization on the forum known as the FRL (Fruitcake Resistance League), composed as you might guess of various fruitcakes (or in my own case, a mere fruitflake).

These folks seem to have both an appreciation of the five liners that you and I both are fond of, and a bit of blood lust as well in that they have invited you and me to a 'battle' of limericks on the FRL thread.

What I propose instead, is that you and I conduct an 'FRL Roast' and roast each FRLian with a limerick appropriate to their audacity and personality and one that is a suitable punishment for wishing to mar Anglo-American relations in this manner. In addition to directing our energies to a truly worthy cause rather than toward each other in verbal combat, I suspect that it would be quite a lot of fun actually. Serving Humble Pie is always SO much more fun than eating it!

I'm going to publish a copy of this to the FRL thread, and I suspect that your reply will be eagerly awaited, if not with anxiety, certainly with anticipation.

(hopefully)Your conspirator in 'Roast Rhyming',


-- Hardliner (, November 27, 1999.

hardliner comes back
he must not do the troll threads
and only stay here

Said in on one of those "other" threads...meant it...Welcome back Hardliner, we have, I have, missed you dearly.

-- Donna (, November 27, 1999.

Great minds may think alike, but small ones rarely differ. I sent an e to Richard, too:

Dear Richard,

Welcome back!

We need you to check onto the FRLian Thanksgiving thread for a limmerick (sic) battle with Hardliner if you're willing. We've sure missed you!

Hope to see you there.

Tricia the Canuck

If Richard follows his old habits, he won't get my e until Monday morning at work, but we may well hear from him then. I hope so. I also hope that however they work it, as a contest or as a co-operative effort, we hear many more limericks from the two limerists(?) whose work is acknowledged best.

Speaking of acknowledged best, it's been a loonnnggg time since we've had a(n) haiku from Unk. Gayla, I think you have pull there, can you persuade him that we need his artistry too?

-- Tricia the Canuck (, November 27, 1999.

Oh oh O O !! This promises to be worth watching! *pulling up 2 folding chairs and grabbing the popcorn*

The FRL rhymed while the globe burned ... tis already a legend ;^)

-- we're going out in style! (, November 27, 1999.

Hardliner came back to play.
I was sad when he stayed away!
But now he's back,
Everything is on track.
Today is a happy day! :-)

-- Gayla (, November 27, 1999.

Leave it to Hardliner to serve humble pie even to the FRL!

I'm watching with interest, but getting out of his way, eh.

-- Hiding (v@water.somewhere), November 28, 1999.

I've long enjoyed the FRL threads, but never felt "fruitcake-worthy". My humor and creativity are certainly no match for the regulars here.

Well, I've decided to give it a shot, anyhow, primarily 'cuz my attempt at a humor thread ("What does The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy have to say about Y2k?") seems to have fallen flat. I've enjoyed putting the thing together, why not check it out and have some fun exploring the H2G2 universe. See what the guide has to say about alcohol if you like to embalm, or embibe, or implode, or whatever.

Can't promise haiku or limericks, but I hope to contribute some of my goofiness in the coming days. Nice to have the FRL as a "sanctuary" from the flame wars. Long liff the FRL!!! What is the meaning of liff anyway?

-- Steve (, November 28, 1999.

Steve, a FRLian liffs while they laff upliffted ;^) WELCOME! [ of course there are several other interpretations as well ]

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (, November 28, 1999.

Here's Rob's original Thanksgiving Address which begat this thread:

We return thanks to our Mother, the earth, which sustains us. We thank thee, that thou has caused her to yield so plentifully of her fruits. Cause that, in the season coming, she may not withhold of her fullness and leave any to suffer for want.

We return thanks to the rivers and streams, which run their courses upon the bosom of our mother, the earth. We thank thee, that thou hast supplied them with life, for our comfort and support. Grant that this blessing may continue.

We return thanks to all the herbs and plants of the earth. We thank thee, that in thy goodness thou hast blest them all, and given them strength to preserve our bodies healthy, and to cure us of the diseases inflicted upon us.

We return thanks to the three Sisters (corns, beans, squash). We thank thee, that thou has provided them as the main supporters of our lives. We thank thee for the abundant harvest gathered in during the past season. We ask that our supporters may never fail us, and cause our children to suffer from want.

Here's the same address, with the first paragraph translated using Alta Vista's Babel Fish translator. The first paragraph was translated to Italian, then back to English. Second Portugese, third French, and fourth German.

We give back the thankses to our base, the earth, than it supports them. Ringraziamo the thee, those thou we have caused it to abundant rendering therefore of its frutte. To cause that, in the season that comes, it cannot think of its fullness and to leave are ne in order to suffer in order to wish.

We return gratefulness to the rivers and the streams, that function its courses in top of bosom of our array, the land. We thank thee, this hast of we thou we supply it them with the life, our comfort and sustentation. Grant who this blessing can continue.

We return thanks to all grasses and plants of the ground. We thank the thee, that in the hast thy of thou of quality blest they all, and given the their force to preserve our healthy bodies, and to cure us diseases inflicted on us.

We bring thanks of the three sisters back (Corns, beans, Kuerbis). We thank thee, this thou made available it as the main advocates our life lasting. We thank thee for the plentifully available harvest, which is entered inside during the last season. We ask that our advocates can never leave us, and cause our children, under to suffer require.

Had this been an actual Babel Fish translation, and not a crude, artificial, quasi-literate approximation, your mileage would have most definitely varied.

And the fate of the Iroquois nation would, in all likelihood, not be the same. Pity.

-- Steve (, November 28, 1999.

Welcome, Steve, oh mighty fish translator! You'll make a great fruitcake, er... uh... FRLian! :-)

-- Gayla (, November 28, 1999.

Boyoboyoboy. Guess where I been?

There's nothing so subtle as an Autumn beach at daybreak. A day-old Norther vanquished the normal Gulf haze, and the skies were hand-rubbed lapis. Kit and I found some wild sage and scrubbed the leaves into our shirts and faces. The big northern gulls elbowed their way into the congregations along the surf line, and the pipers called out the hymns for our particular sunrise service. A squadron of brown pelicans flew in low above the wavetops, and alited to watch us like ancient statues and some long-lost avian Easter Island.

A dead teal reposed in the line of tide trash, a victum of the season upon the marshes. The green of it's feathers richocheted off our eyes, and reminded me of days when I had killed in order to substanciate my manhood. When I too, tred upon beauty and youth, and found the pathway growing ever fainter with the dusk. Old men celibrate each sunrise.


But what's this? A rumor of war laid upon our doorstep? Ah, well, in this at least I can fire the first volley!


There once was a lad named Hardliner,

A sage and true poster; never a whiner,

But now we hear tale,

He's with Dick o' the Dale.

(And I thought he' done moved to Chiner!)


No prisoners! No truce!

A battle of the muse.

A limerick attact!

While we're flat on our back

From holiday Fruitcakes and Jiggle juice.

-- Lon Frank (, November 28, 1999.

(now to rally the troups!)


There once was a girl named Gayla Sue,

(Sounds kinda' like the girl voted "Most likely to")

Although a notorious two-timester,

She was a most excellent rhymster,

She'd rightly be a Goddess, down here on the bayou.

-- Lon Frank (, November 28, 1999.

There once was a woman Canuckian

Who started a poetry war frlian

Gayla and Lon

Wrote at the dawn,

Soon the lines Were Rather STENTORIAN.

-- Tricia the Canuck (, November 28, 1999.

I came to the fruitcake thread, Looking for funny bread. What I found was so laughable, And the folks downright affable, I just turned and went back to bed.

-- BB (peace@all.costs), November 29, 1999.

LOL, BB! Better be careful posting on the fruitcake threads! You'll become one of US! :-)

Lon filled the circus with cheer,
He had us all smiling ear to ear.
He's trying to flatter,
But it doesn't matter,
I'm STILL not buying you that beer! :-)

-- Gayla (, November 29, 1999.

OK, FRLians, stand by! I am in receipt of a reply from Sir Richard, and we have formed an alliance. Your watchword will soon be BOHICA!

That reply reads in part:

Yes I like the idea of "roasting" the FRL members rather than making a Roman spectacle of ourselves as sort of cyber gladiators slogging it out to the amusement of the imperial forum spectators (poised ready with thumbs down no doubt at the slightest sign of weakness). [signed; Richard Dale]

I would in a spirit of pity, advise you all to note certain aspects of history and do not expect us to wear red coats and march in a straight line. Perhaps it would serve you better to look to the Maquis for illustration -- we certainly shall!

Having easily absorbed your opening volley, you are hereby on notice that the SRAH Alliance (Sir Richard and Hardliner) is on the move! We will strike without warning and show no mercy! When you least expect it we will be there and our tactics will leave you blowing milk through your noses and wetting your collective pants. Be warned!

Y'all should have been careful what you asked for! Now you've got it!

-- Hardliner (, November 29, 1999.

On December 10, 1998, a day that will live in infirmary, a thread called Brotherhood of Yourdon was started by Good Sir Richard.

Within only one day, I felt at least partially responsible for moving that thread off-track and wanted to atone. So it was on that thread the following was posted: "Yep... this thread is silly and getting really out of hand. To partially atone for even mentioning fruitcake and socks, I will put in a new question where we can start off this way and whoever wants can just keep going. Stay tuned."

Well, some of you may have already guessed that the new question started in atonement was the original "Know your Fruitcake" thread. It is hard to believe that it has been almost one year. When I wrote "we can start off this way and whoever wants can just keep going" I never in my wildest dreams thought that it actually would have kept going, and going, and going, and going---

Now it is with both awe and great pleasure that I salute all of you, Dear and Loyal FRLians. When I contemplate what I will remember about this Forum many years from now, undoubtedly all of you and this amazing FRL will be first in my thoughts - and my heart. So it is both appropriate and ironic that we now have Sir Richard and Hardliner back, limericks and all, at this puncture in our FRLian history.

Let the Limerick Festival Begin!

Long Live the FRL.


-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@limerick.fest), November 29, 1999.

Be stout, friends; do not waver,

Fortunes of war, do the FRL favor.

My ammo's arrived,

Deluxe fruitckes, one plus five,

And a wash-tub of jiggle juice, just for flavor!

-- Lon Frank (, November 29, 1999.

Oooo Hardliner! Stealth limmericks.


(Love the fishy translation Steve!)


(Was buried in troll dung, but showered recently. Feeling uncreative at the moment tho).


Limey... uh... limmerick materials...

Fruitcake Index...

#0-A: Perfect y2k food? (not for the serious) 000FvD

#0-B: Supermarkets, Duct Tape, and Phone Gnomes (Humor) 000W78

#0-C: Grandmama's missing check 000GXB

#0-D: Who else got one of 10 Anti-terrorist "Units"?
(pre-beginnings of the Canadianainainan steath geeses thread) 000DfT

#1: Know Your Fruitcake! (not for the serious) 000Imj

#2: Know your Fruitcake, the second. 000hxd

#3: OT - Fruitcake III 000sez

#4: Know Your Fruitcake IV (not for the serious) 0011dm

#5: Fruitcake V : The Return of Sue? 001Bli

#6: OT- FRLians Unite, members only - OT 001Izu

#7: OT - FRL 7 001Oap

#8: OT - FRL 8 001P4r

#9: OT-FRL #9 001TU6

#10: OT - FRL #10 (washing Murhpy) 001ZPa

# 11: FRL # 11 - Lessons from the Geese 001gIB

# 12: FRL #12 - Natural Highs 001lYX

And... for Lon...

Beans and Air Quality (HUMOR) 000h17

Holiday Special...

FRLian Thanksgiving 001qlz

And another addition...

Brotherhood of Yourdon (Sir Richard of the Dale) 000Ia4

-- Diane J. Squire (, November 29, 1999.

To the Jiggle-Juice Clown from the Swamp:
You'd best do away with that pomp.
Wake up from your snooze!
Your pastry and booze,
Will avail you of naught in THIS romp!

If you for the League would bat,
seek advice from your dog that's a cat.
The claws that were paws,
must inspire jaws,
that rhyme as they say where it's at!

Seek out your friend, Alligator,
And Gayla? Stop tryin' to date 'er!
Submerge to your eyes,
And look for some spies,
Else surely you'll wish you had, later.

-- Hardliner (, November 29, 1999.

Now BB's a man of the cloth,
And his thoughts are nourishing broth,
Treat well your padre,
If you want your cadre,
To avoid the fate of the moth.

Beware of the Lime and the stones,
Lest your posterity be only bones.
The Brit and the Yank,
One day you will thank,
For keeping you up with Jones.

-- Hardliner (, November 29, 1999.

And so we have a limer-rhyming contest eh?

Hmmmn - no sides choosing here I'll say

While 'tis nobler to say for sooth

'Tis really better to stay and let looth

At both - the limey-writer and the gyrine flier....

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (, November 29, 1999.

Lord, it feels like Home now!

-- Happy as can be (, November 29, 1999.

Drat - that should have been "... flier, gyrate"

Not really; with the theme of this thread, "... flier, I ate"

But the turkey, the flier, did eaten,

To oppose in poetry one who represents "the fields of Eaten",

So, actually, "... flier, he ate."

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (, November 29, 1999.

Enter the erstwhile Sailor,
Who patronizes not the Tailor,
but wears his threads,
'til they're in shreds,
and has few friends at Baylor!

Few problems with nukes he sees,
and while he doesn't inhabit the trees,
his fascination with skunks,
in putrid chunks,
leaves his passengers weak in the knees.

-- Hardliner (, November 29, 1999.

What is this? an FRL "roast"?
Sounds more like a feast, not a boast!
I came prepared with Whiskey-Soaked-Fruitcake,
but the SRAH yet still has to partake,
or soon they'll be served toast!

Rob Sir, I had managed to forget this thread where in another state of mindlessness I took over Sir Richard's thread. I'm worried that he never forgave me this coup de state. (Sir Richard if you're lurking; Sheila did manage to sew me that chartreuse muslin straight-jacket since. And Diane has those nasty trolls very much under control, at least at the FRL. So come out and play?)

-- Chris (#$%^&, November 29, 1999.

Taking the tyme to rythme in a lyme,
To unknown soldiers of lyne.
Is a fryght, a delyght,
And a fyght in hardlyne playwryte.
But God is a Friend of myne.

Life's unfolding mysteries are best shared and told,
It's depths and secrets plumbed.
This funny bread is a treat
It's receipe a feat
As realities dark thoughts are numbed.

Aw, who's afraid of the big bad wolves,
Who span the sea, and won't let us be.
Bark bigger than byte,
Breaking bones, but not sight.
Their names will never hurt me.

-- BB (, November 29, 1999.

Now we have a limerick Fest,

Where we like to play and jest,

We come here 'cause we want some fun,

And rhyme until the day is done,

Smiles are what we like best.


Limericks they have five lines,

you must rhyme them on the dimes,

the first, second, and fifth together,

the third and fourth rhymes of a feather,

non-compliant ones? There will be fines!

-- (sonofdust@limerick.fest), November 29, 1999.

Rob, that Brotherhood thread should come with a warning: "Drinking or eating while reading this thread is a hazard to the health of you, your monitor and your keyboard!"

I should know, I'm still cleaning up the mouthful of coffee I had taken just as I started reading:

I thought I lost my defective stealth rubber ducky, but then again, I might be mistaken because I can't see it it might be fixed. But it were fixed then I can't reproduce the problem and so I'm not sure the programmers will believe me when I report it missing.....

-- Robert A. Cook

The warning given, though, thanks so much for a lighthearted trip to the past.

-- Tricia the Canuck (, November 29, 1999.

Along the bayou was I strolling and strumming

A simple lim'rick was I humming,

But I musta been delirious

These guys are SERIOUS.

Why didn't someone yell "INCOMMING"?

A limerick war - just a whim

The damage so far has been slim

But a spy in our fold?

Who would venture so bold

Risking dear life and dear limb

Call up from the swamp the reclused

For the dogs of war have been loosed

With Robert by my side

To battle will we stride

(I can't wait to see Gayla get goosed)

-- Lon Frank (, November 29, 1999.

Now 'Tricia, as Helen of yore,
Has instigated the making of gore,
But the Yank and the Brit,
Will have none of it,
And 'Tricia's gonna end up sore!

A game that's old but not right,
It's called, "Let's You and Him Fight",
But out of the Past,
An alliance is cast,
And the Brit and the Yank have got tight.

East Africa's really been studied,
Young 'Tricia's perspective muddied,
By the Mau-mau's deeds,
Which planted the seeds,
For visions of combatants, bloodied.

'Tis true that the weapons are words,
And her Stealth Geese are only but birds,
Yet the Truth is clear;
Should they fight here,
The Yank and the Brit would be nerds.

So 'Tricia your dastardly scheme,
(which has a flavor not unlike a meme),
Makes the Yank and the Brit,
To on their hands do spit,
As they prepare to skim off the cream!

-- Hardliner (, November 29, 1999.

I had forgotten how good Hardliner is at writing limericks! The Brit is in REAL trouble!

Sending a 'gator to take care of Lon and his "geese"!

-- Gayla (, November 29, 1999.

Gayla, you misunderstand!
I am but the Brit's right Hand!
When he does arrive,
you'll all need to strive,
just to stay on dry land!

Now Gayla, you may have erred,
Or maybe true sentiment bared,
But the 'gator you sent,
To the Swamp Clown's tent,
Questions for which side you cared.

If you pledge allegiance to SRAH,
The Brit and the Yank will hurrah,
And extend our protection,
In your direction,
And the threatened goose? Hah!

We'll dress that goose in fleece,
And have it trained by the local police.
We'll assign it to Lon,
And set it upon,
His person with a full year's lease!

So Gayla, please be wise,
Before you meet a fowl demise,
Cast your lot with us,
Get on our bus,
'cause we're gonna win the prize!

-- Hardliner (, November 29, 1999.

Dear Mrs. Michaels gives Murphy a pill,

Try as she might, in only did spill,

Out of his mouth and onto the floor,

Rolling along then under the door,

He escapes out the house and down the hill.

Wee lil beastie hiding from me,

Timorous shivers up in the tree,

Should I get a ladder and go to the rescue?,

No! says Marie for isnt it true,

Never up trees cat skeletons we see!

He got up and hell get down,

OK I said but with a frown,

Then we whiled away some hours,

As I drank three whiskey sours :),

And Murphy came home and is now around.

-- (sonofdust@murphy.thecat), November 29, 1999.

Steve H., the Hitchhiker's quite good,
Appropos when in Fruitcak-ey mood.
But you must attempt rhyme.
It's NOW! It's the time.
At least try a simple haiku.

-- Donna Barthuley (, November 29, 1999.

Well gang, it's been fun being back here and actually having some time to post a bit and enjoy it. Tomorrow its back to the unreal world though. I'll check in here when I can. And I really am still thankful - at least I wasn't roasted! LOL.

BFN, Rob.

-- (sonofdust@bfn.rob), November 29, 1999.

So, Hardliner, let me see if I have this straight... You and Richard are teaming up together? And if I join sides with you two, you will protect me from Lon and his vicious "geese"? But, who are you and the Brit teaming up against? Robert and Lon? Who is on which side? I'm so confused! ;-)

-- Gayla (, November 29, 1999.

Gather, my children and always remember

Old leaves, and old clowns, fallen in November

The cannons' first sounding

Set my heart-blood to pounding

And tested my metal and timbre

- But the red of my rubber nose faded

To tlim'rick war I became jaded

And the blood of my heart

Though frozen at the start

Now flows as the bayou, unabated.

- So, children, the tale that I tell

Of rhyme-warriors, so brave and so fell

A lesson, and thou know it

Ne'er send an old poet

To battle the Yank and the Brit of the dale.

-- Lon Frank (, November 29, 1999.

And Gayla, ma dawlin', we know (we know).

-- Lon Frank (, November 29, 1999.

Tricia, stealth geese leader so dear,
of this "roast" have no fear,
I know that Richard of Dale,
is now shaking and pale,
sweating what to write as he gulps his beer.

And as for you Gayla trusted friend,
courageous and loyale FRLian,
you must resist this lure,
at first glance so demure,
it's a trap, don't fall for them!

Now Rob the FRL Leader is retreating,
is he afraid of a harmless SRAH roasting?!
What are we to think of this?
A poor excuse and cowardice?
'Tis so sad! Now Lon will have to be leading.

-- (, November 29, 1999.

The once was a lass from Canuket,

Who toted ten fruitcakes 'round in a bucket

When one would ask "why?"

She'd demurely reply

"Well you moron, If I only threw one, they'd just probably duck it"


And Rob, no fair posting real poetry (and quite good, too). We're all in this silliness together. If fact, I think you should be right up front here with Trish (that warmonger). And here, wear this big hat. And this bright yellow coat. And all these shiney medals. And, uh, I'll be right, uh...right here behind you. Yeah, that's it. Right here behind this here tree. Once more into the breach!!

-- Lon Frank (, November 30, 1999.

Hardliner: Very well. I'm back! Its two in the morning but what the hay. (Don't ya lov when da pager wakes ya up?)

For the record, I am not afraid. GO ahead. Roast me. Cowardice indeed. Sheesh! Do your knockingwurst. So there! You can roast too, Sir Richard.

Uh, Lon? Did you say you had a washtub full of the good stuff layin round here... just wondering...back for a second try at some sleep for now.

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@roast.toast), November 30, 1999.

p.s. Lon: I have the big hat, and the bright yellow coat, and all these shiney medals, and one thing more - Really Bright Red Socks! Do not be unindated by the SRAH. Strength, good fellow, Strength. Uh, is there more room behind that there tree? Is that where the JJ is?

S.O.B. - also for the record: O Great Keeper of the Awficial Count, this is number 72.

-- (sonofdust@lights.out), November 30, 1999.

Please excuse the interruption. Just wanted to see what this would look like! Thanx.

-- Hawk (flyin@high.again), November 30, 1999.

Well, Hawk, it looks just like my mother-in-law! But that's beside the point. Conjure up a pome and step to the front. We need some new blood, er....talent around here.

-- Lon Frank (, November 30, 1999.

There once was a tinfoil named Dog,
Who was frequently taken for Zog,
When rollover comes,
They'll just be thought bums,
But live like kings in a Bog.

(I failed every poetry assignment ever given ....)

-- BigDog (, November 30, 1999.

It's a green, vertically adjusted, rear-legged mobile pre-bird of the lizard persuasion.....or his mother-in-law, whichever came first - the chicken or the egg on the other side of the road.

Except the egg couldn't get to the other side of the road unless it were first laid by a stealth goose - in which case the it wouldn't be either a chicken or the other egg, so it must be the first egg. But then if it were the first egg, then it couldn't have been the other egg because it would have been the second egg - which is why the lizard (or the mother in law) is going to the other place in the first place.

But we won't go there - cause it's not here on the other hand in the first place - since it is the second place. But I herd that third hand - - thus you need yard stick to measure three feet, which is funny - cause I only have two feet and two hands....which gets us back into the two pair of red socks....

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (, November 30, 1999.

Is Hawk really Craig in disguise?
Some of what he says and tries,
Make me think that it's him,
Perhaps it's a whim,
If I'm right, please tell me no lies.

-- Gayla (, November 30, 1999.

Dearest Lon down on the Bye-O
I'm trying to decide where to go.
What is it you meant,
With the message you sent,
Where you said, "We know (we know)?"

-- Gayla (, November 30, 1999.

The line was a hand-holding allusion

to your admission of somewhat confusion

(Gayla, dear one

you know 'twas just in fun)

My feeble attempt at amusion.

-- Lon Frank (, November 30, 1999.

This was s'posed to be a roasting of the FRL,
Not just from Hardliner, so where's the Dale?
Is he just too affable?
Pity, this SRAH is laughable,
Can you hear the lurkers ROFL?

[Sysop note---this .wav file--crashes S.O.B.'s 'puter--hotlink now--hope it works]

hear the lurkers ROFL

-- (, November 30, 1999.

FRLians! Prepare to meet thy Fate!

I have received the following from Sir Richard:
(and just wait until he finishes the scan!)

From: Richard Dale

Date: Tue, 30 Nov 1999 09:27:48 -0000
Subject: limerix I
Message-ID: < >

Hardliner, the first half dozen, would you be so kind as to post them on the thread for me:

PS I'm still working on the scan

There was a young lady called Diane
Who dreamt of lands Arcadian
In a far off Greek Temple
She summoned spirits elemental
And worshipped the Gods Olympian

There was a young lady called Diane
Who journeyed in a mode Einsteinian
She started off each day
In a relative way
And ended up before she began

There was a young lady called Di
On caffeine she did get a high
"One more Cafe Latte"
Will be her epitaph
Too many cups she was compelled to drink dry

There was a young lady called Diane
Whose life was really going down the pan
Until she met up with Ed Yourdon
And took over the Y2k forum
She no longer felt like an old alsoran

There was a young lady called Diane
Who composed a very lyrical pavane
She danced to her tune
By the light of the moon
Til exhausted she laid on her divan

There was a young lady called Di
Who oft in magic woodlands did lie
She whiled away the hours
By picking garlands of sweet flowers
And distilled them to really get a high

-----Confidentiality Notice-----
This Communication and the information it contains:-
(a) Is intended only for the person(s) or organisation(s) named above and for no other person(s) or organisation(s) (b) May be confidential, legally privileged and protected in law. Unauthorised use, copying or disclosure of any of it may be unlawful. If you have received this communication in error, please contact us immediately by email at

-- Hardliner (, November 30, 1999.

As a special concession to the Swamp Clown, INCOMING!!!!

(and a 'special' word for the water sprite with the jackal-like laugh: There's a 'special' place for you in my plans, dearie!)

From: Richard Dale

Date: Tue, 30 Nov 1999 16:30:33 -0000
Subject: Limerix II
Message-ID: < >

Hardliner, could you please do the honours with this lot:

There was a young man called Cook
Who always did things properly by the book
Never known to have bungled
He said "I am humbled"
If you don't believe me well take a hard look

There was a young family named Cook
Who never left poor Bob off the hook
They nagged him night and day
And took all of his pay
And even accused him of being a crook

There was a young man called Bob
Who was hounded all day at his job
He was harangued even I'll wager
By his demanding teenager
What did he do to deserve such a mob

There was an old man called Ed
Who always seemed so exceedingly well fed
He made a bundle of cash
By cutting a dash
And retired to a villa on the Med.

There was an old man called Ed
Who hid himself away from the Fed
He owed taxes I guess
To the feared IRS
And changed his ID it is said

There was a young man called Ed
Who decided that he should now get re-wed
She was younger that his daughter
"Do you think I really oughta"
His wife said "if you do you'll be dead"

There was a young man called Unk
Who always lived in a rarefied funk
His wife said "get a grip
And do up your zip
For god's sake you're really such a punk"

There was a young man called Unk
Who decided to become a chaste monk
He gave up all too soon
At the rising of the moon
And stole back to his wife's welcoming bunk

There was a young man called Unk
Who accumulated a whole load of junk
His wife threw him out
He spent days wandring about
But without her he was totally sunk

There was a young man called Hardliner
Who said "I can't think of anything finer
Than roasting the FRL
I just love giving 'em hell
With my deadly and thrusting five liner"

-----Confidentiality Notice-----
This Communication and the information it contains:-
(a) Is intended only for the person(s) or organisation(s) named above and for no other person(s) or organisation(s) (b) May be confidential, legally privileged and protected in law. Unauthorised use, copying or disclosure of any of it may be unlawful. If you have received this communication in error, please contact us immediately by email at

-- Hardliner (, November 30, 1999.

BB's name is 'Pastor Bob'
Souls from hell, he does rob.
"Heaven will be great!
It's not too late...
Jesus loves you!" he cries to the mob.

-- Gayla (, November 30, 1999.

All these "Dale" limericks so facetious,
Do look to me very suspicious,
In short time so many can only come from one source,
And all of us know very well from who, ofcourse,
A well known five-liner who's rapacious.

This is not an acusation,
But merely a suspicion,
Until we hear from the Dale himself,
I'll remain vigilant and stealth,
Spy of the FRL battalion.

-- (, November 30, 1999.

What limericks from the supposed Sir Richard of the Limey's?

I couldn't read 'em - cause they were stealthly configured to be confiendentially written only for the sole intended viweing of the intended viwerer only and all that confiendential classified ossified fissilized stuff that I can't read since it wasn't there....but that's neither here nor there, which why it obviously relates to the other side of the road, but we're not going there since its here already - except I can't read it

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (, November 30, 1999.

ROTFL, Robert! I love Hardliner's reference above to the skunk! Tell Ms. Jean I said hello! :-)

-- Gayla (, November 30, 1999.

Thanks to Gayla I'm out in the open,
I'm not whining o-pining or mopin.
Keep your gators away from me,
Or I'll end up your enemy,
God is smiling at all of this jokin.

-- BB (, November 30, 1999.

Welllll - shucks, blushes humbly - I only said I could read 'em, didn't say I could smell 'em.....

But that that imply an implicit comparison in the odor of the supposed limeyricks, or of the (fomerly formally flattened) skunk that was the subject of distinguished distinction and extinguishion?

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Marietta, GA) (, November 30, 1999.

You call THAT a roast?

Why, I've had worser - on toast!

No ifs, and or buttin',

they need lessons in down-cuttin'

My MIL (see above) could teach them haste-post.

When the Big Dog came prowlin',

he sent the SRAH howlin',

with fright in the night,

they fled from his bite.

(Or was it his slobberin' and growlin'?)

It takes no Einstienian logic

To see that Sir Robert's pedagogic.

His reparte' with the eggs,

had them tuck tail 'tween their legs..

Their roast-boasting now seems micrologic.

Brother Bob weighs in heavily for us.

Perhaps with a Heavenly chorus?

To think the God's humor

would somehow find room fer

the rhyme-crimes the infidels lay before us.

So sound you the great battle trumpet

Pound hard the war-drum, don't just thump it.

We'll call in Special Troops,

grimey back-biters and snoops.

Where's Gayla, and Chris and Diane (that ol' strumpet!)

Remember this strictly, all and one,

This is limerckly just for fun.

I'd never risk your ire

by committing "friendly fire"

And now, ever so quickly - -I'm done!

-- Lon Frank (, November 30, 1999.

Rob can create pictures in my mind,
A rare gift that few ever find.
If you ever get the chance,
Ask him for a dance.
You'll leave all your worries behind.

(PS- Rob, better start a new thread soon! This one takes forever to load! How about "FRLian Limerick Wars"?)

-- Gayla (, November 30, 1999.

Thought I'd pop in here real quick, And then write up a limerick, No one yet has roasted me, All the posts I looked to see, Lots of good ones take your pick.

Sir Richard and Hardliner - I have a Beef, No one's roasted even my feet, My socks are off so go ahead, You both know they are bright red, No fear Good Sirs, I won't retreat.


When posting to this Forum, Observe proper decorum, Gayla wants a brand new thread, I'll start one 'fore I go to bed, And check it in the mornin'.

On second thought, since I was up half the night and am kinda wiped out, not to mention roast beefless, I'll start that thread now.

S.O.B: #91, O Great One.

-- (sonofdust@wheres.thebeef), November 30, 1999.


# 14: OT - FRL #14 - Limerick Festival 001tTn

-- Diane J. Squire (, December 01, 1999.

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