Useless and Useful Latin Phrases

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USELESS LATIN PHRASES

exercitus ingens urum salutavit. obdormivit urus / The huge army greeted the buffalo. The buffalo fell asleep.

non commodus est mihi desilire / It is not convenient for me to jump down.

eheu, ardeo / Alas, I am burning. euge! murus sum / Hooray! I am a wall!

Imperator concidit ut brassica esset / The Emperor fell down in order to be a cabbage.

tam ingens erat puer ut totam viam obstaret / The boy was so huge that he blocked the whole street.

USEFUL LATIN PHRASES

Non calor sed umor est qui nobis incommodat / It's not the heat, it's the humidity.

Di! Ecce hora! Uxor mea me necabit! / God, look at the time! My wife will kill me!

Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre? / Is that a scroll in your toga, or are you just happy to see me?

Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt / When catapults are outlawed, only outlaws will have catapults.

Purgamentum init, exit purgamentum / Garbage in, garbage out.

Credo nos in fluctu eodem esse / I think we're on the same wavelength.

Lex clavatoris designati rescindenda est / The designated hitter rule has got to go.

Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure / I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear.

Sentio aliquos togatos contra me conspirare / I think some people in togas are plotting against me.

Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem / In the good old days, children like you were left to perish on windswept crags.

Caesar si viveret, ad remum dareris / If Caesar were alive, you'd be chained to an oar.

Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari? / How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione / I'm not interested in your dopey religious cult.

(At a poetry reading) Nullo metro compositum est / It doesn't rhyme.

Non curo. Si metrum non habet, non est poema / I don't care. If it doesn't rhyme, it isn't a poem.

Quomodo cogis comas tuas sic videri? / How do you get your hair to do that?

Feles mala! Cur cista non uteris? Stramentum novum in ea posui / Bad kitty! Why don't you use the cat box? I put new litter in it.

Romani quidem artem amatoriam invenerunt / You know, the Romans invented the art of love.

(At a barbeque) Animadvertistine, ubicumque stes, fumum recta in faciem ferri? / Ever noticed how wherever you stand, the smoke goes right into your face?

Neutiquam erro / I am not lost.

Hocine bibo aut in eum digitos insero? / Do I drink this or stick my fingers in it?

Vah! Denuone Latine loquebar? Me ineptum. Interdum modo elabitur / Oh! Was I speaking Latin again? Silly me. Sometimes it just sort of slips out.

Die dulci fruere / Have a nice day.

Si hoc signum legere potes, operis boni in rebus Latinus alacribus et fructuosis potiri potes! / If you can read this sign, you can get a good job in the fast-paced, high-paying world of Latin!

Noli me vocare, ego te vocabo / Don't call me, I'll call you.

Fac ut gaudeam / Make my day.

Utinam barbari spatium proprium tuum invadant! / May barbarians invade your personal space!

Utinam coniurati te in foro interficiant! / May conspirators assassinate you in the mall!

Utinam logica falsa tuam philosophiam totam suffodiant! / May faulty logic undermine your entire philosophy!

Quo signo nata es? / What's your sign?

Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari? / How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Fac ut vivas / Get a life.

Spero nos familiares mansuros / I hope we'll still be friends.

Mellita, domi adsum / Honey, I'm home.

Tam exanimis quam tunica nehru fio / I am as dead as the nehru jacket.

Ventis secundis, tene cursum / Go with the flow.

Te precor dulcissime supplex! / Pretty please with a cherry on top!

Magister Mundi sum! / I am the Master of the Universe!

Fac me cocleario vomere! / Gag me with a spoon!

Nihil est-in vita priore ego imperator Romanus fui / That's nothing-in a previous life I was a Roman Emperor.

Aio, quantitas magna frumentorum est / Yes, that is a very large amount of corn.

Recedite, plebes! Gero rem imperialem! / Stand aside plebians! I am on imperial business.

Oblitus sum perpolire clepsydras! / I forgot to polish the clocks!

Vescere bracis meis / Eat my shorts.

Vacca foeda / Stupid cow

Anulos qui animum ostendunt omnes gestemus! / Let's all wear mood rings!

Insula Gilliganis / Gilligan's Island

-- Old Git (anon@spamproblems.com), November 15, 1999

Answers

OG,

After telling King of Spain that he was the most consistent chuckle-bringer, I need to tell you that you are the most consistent belly-laugh creator.

You done it agian.

Dam, girl, you are funny!

-Greybear

-- Get Rice!

-- Greybear (greybear@home.com), November 15, 1999.


Gad, you made my day! Still chuckling...

-- Jill D. (jdance@mindspring.com), November 15, 1999.

OG!!! ROTFLMAO....

You are too much...

A gem by any other comparison....

tail waggin'...

The Dog

-- Dog (Desert Dog@-sand.com), November 15, 1999.


I must hastily add that these phrases were collected from various sites on the web; they are not of my own creation. My own familiarity with a foreign language is restricted to French, where I have had good mileage out of "Bonjour, marine!" (Hello, sailor!)

-- Old Git (anon@spamproblems.com), November 15, 1999.

Old Git,

There's a book entitled "Amo, Amas, Amat and more" which is a must read for Latin afficianados.

It too has a good deal of humor contained therein.

-- nothere nothere (notherethere@hotmail.com), November 15, 1999.



Git -- Very good.
Re the French phrase, didn't you include: "Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?" So the whole phrase would be translated: "Hello sailor, want to come to bed with me?" :-)

-- A (A@AisA.com), November 15, 1999.

OG mentioned

"My own familiarity with a foreign language is restricted to French, where I have had good mileage out of "Bonjour, marine!" (Hello, sailor!)"

And I am sure you are still working it eh? ;o)

great post OG, not enough humour around.

-- Brian (imager@home.com), November 15, 1999.


Thanks, my dear. Really needed a laugh today.

-- Lewis (aslanshow@yahoo.com), November 15, 1999.

Sadness is when no one else would get the joke... But I did appreciate these...

-- Mad Monk (madmonk@hawaiian.net), November 15, 1999.

Thank you Old Git!

-- Choirboy (choirboy@hellzchoir.edu), November 15, 1999.


Damn, I always wondered where Decker gets this crap from! Thanks, Old Git.

-- King of Spain (madrid@aol.cum), November 15, 1999.

A--French sailors don't need to be asked. . .!

-- Old Git (anon@spamproblems.com), November 15, 1999.

Old Git: Thanks for the laugh - it's a print-out for sure!! You are very much appreciated here - stay well!!!

-- jeanne (jeanne@hurry.now), November 15, 1999.

You forgot the oldest one in the book:

Illegitimi noncarborundum: Don't let the Bastards get you down!

-- rob minor (rbminor@hotmail.com), November 15, 1999.


On a more serious side -- "novus ordo seclorum" -- the slogan below the pyramid on the back of the US $1 bill. "New Order of the Ages." That NWO, I think, but I could be wrong, is different than what Bush and Klinton have in mind. But for all the Christians here, the founders were deists, in the main, NOT Christians.

One site relating the history explains...
Perhaps with this motto Thomson was emphasizing the non-religious aspect of the United States as an earthly endeavor, not a heavenly one. (He used the motto above the pyramid to bring in the divine element.) Such distinctions add further nuance to the unique symbolism of the pyramid and eye.
http://www.greatseal.com/symbols/seclorum.html

Back to the lighter side: You all remember Julius Caeser's "veni, vidi, vici" (I came, I saw, I conquered). Modern lounge lizard version: "Vidi, vici, veni" (I saw, I conquered, I came).

-- A (A@AisA.com), November 15, 1999.



I SURFED

I LURKED

I POSTED



-- CyberCaesar (pixmo@pixelquest.com), November 15, 1999.

As Robert Duvall said.."OUTSTANDING!" HILARIOUS. One more--Et Tu, brute?

-- profit of doom (doom@helltopay.ca), November 15, 1999.

Thnaks OG. Perhaps after reading this a few times I will begin to finally develop a sense of humor myself :)

-- (sonofdust@rotfl.lol), November 15, 1999.

OG...I really LOVE these. I ran across a few of them a couple months ago. ROFL. Latin has always intrigued me; I have gotten "learn Latin" books out of the library, and practiced a declension or two. Wish I'd learned it as a kid. On graveyard shifts on the crisis hotline, there was a HUGE tabletop dictionary with a large section of foreign phrases, many of them Latin. I used to read it. Do people still read dictionaries for fun, I wonder.... LOL

Here's one of my favorites: Credo quia absurdum est (I believe it because it is absurd). And then there are these, and I've forgotten the Latin but know the translations: "Why do you laugh? Change the name and it could be said of you." "Who watches the watchers?"

We all love a little "panem et circenses" from time to time....(bread and circuses),...nope, not a Rush Limbaugh original :-P

-- Donna (moment@pacbell.net), November 16, 1999.


Si vis pacem, Para Bellum! / To have Peace, prepare for WAR!

Remember, folks, the technically correct name for the major pistol round is 9mm Parabellum. (NOT 9mm Luger)



-- K. Stevens (kstevens@ It's ALL going away in January.com), November 16, 1999.


In high school I took 3 years of Latin - our favorite verse regarding this class was:

"Latin is a language, dead as dead can be. First it killed the Romans, now it's killing me!"

And there were the "interesting" love scenes in the "Aeniad" which caught out attention as 15 year old girls.

-- Laurane (familyties@rttinc.com), November 16, 1999.


Cave MM.

-- Risteard MacThomais (uachtaran@ireland.com), November 16, 1999.

Okay...after a night's sleep I remember one: Who watches the watchers? Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

-- Donna (moment@pacbell.net), November 16, 1999.

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