My full posting on this subject--as nasty as my HTML formatting was--is at the end of prolific comments in response to Robin Messings question for Ed Yourdon on the following URL.

http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id=001aPZ

I will not attempt to link the thread here. I know I've already failed HTML 101.

Perhaps "linkmeister" or another anonymous poster would be willing to help me out.

The bottom line for THIS particular post is this:

If you are not willing to be worshiped according to your handle on the acknowledgements page of my book, Speak now, or forever hold your piece. AK 47s included. [Grin]

Understand that I am referring to handles on THIS forum, not real identities or email addresses.

The Yourdonite forum is hearing this news first. (Heck, I cant be everywhere at once!)

The actual ship date of the book has been postponed until November 1, 1999. This delay reflects a deliberate trade off.

A television crew is coming to my dead tree cluttered office to interview me next Friday so they can get the story on-air in time for the first day of the November television ratings period that begins October 28, 1999. (An aside here: Mark your calendars wherever you live. You will see many special reports air on your local television stations between October 28 and Thanksgiving. Some of them may actually be about Y2k.)

Because I cant reschedule the taping date, I will need to delay the remaining steps in the fine tuning of this book. Also, I have to clean the darn office, and as mentioned, I need to expand the acknowledgments page. So many people to thank, Pollys and Doomers, alike.

So, with regard to that, speak now, or forever hold you peace! My email address is real, and should you not wish to be thanked, please direct your objections to this thread, or email me privately.

In my humble opinion, however, dont you think youd be pretty dumb to voice your objection to allowing me to thank you? Especially since I may not know precisely who you are! Is this silly or what?

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

(Linkmeister? What exactly does BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! mean?)

[Grin]

P.S. Paul Milne is inviting everyone (doomers and pollys alike) to his Y2k wasnt that bad picnic and pig roast in Virginia during the Summer of 2000. Hes confirmed to me the fact that he is planning to host this event (if were not toast, that is), and I am publishing this on my thank you page with his permission. The featured attraction at this potential picnic will be the Milne dunking booth. I certainly hope well all have a chance to attend with smiles on our faces.

The Toilet Paper Chronicles: Gallows Humor from the Y2k Underground

-- Marianne Michaels (scipublic@aol.com), October 15, 1999

Answers

Help!

I can't format, and I can't get up!

What did I do wrong?

Sorry for the run-on sentences.

My future career as a programmer is most certainly doomed.

-- Marianne Michaels (scipublic@aol.com), October 15, 1999.

Marianne,

Don't worry. Programming and html are two different creatures. Good luck.

-- (cannot-say@this.time), October 15, 1999.

If you are not willing to be worshiped according to your handle on the acknowledgements page of my book, Speak now, or forever hold your piece. AK 47s included. [Grin]

Understand that I am referring to handles on THIS forum, not real identities or email addresses. The Yourdonite forum is hearing this news first. (Heck, I cant be everywhere at once!)

The actual ship date of the book has been postponed until November 1, 1999. This delay reflects a deliberate trade off. A television crew is coming to my dead tree cluttered office to interview me next Friday so they can get the story on-air in time for the first day of the November television ratings period that begins October 28, 1999.

(An aside here: Mark your calendars wherever you live. You will see many special reports air on your local television stations between October 28 and Thanksgiving. Some of them may actually be about Y2k.)

Because I cant reschedule the taping date, I will need to delay the remaining steps in the fine tuning of this book. Also, I have to clean the darn office, and as mentioned, I need to expand the acknowledgments page. So many people to thank, Pollys and Doomers, alike.

So, with regard to that, speak now, or forever hold you peace!
My email address is real, and should you not wish to be thanked, please direct your objections to this thread, or email me privately.

In my humble opinion, however, dont you think youd be pretty dumb to voice your objection to allowing me to thank you? Especially since I may not know precisely who you are! Is this silly or what?

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! (Linkmeister? What exactly does BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! mean?) [Grin]

P.S. Paul Milne is inviting everyone (doomers and pollys alike) to his Y2k wasnt that bad picnic and pig roast in Virginia during the Summer of 2000. Hes confirmed to me the fact that he is planning to host this event (if were not toast, that is), and I am publishing this on my thank you page with his permission. The featured attraction at this potential picnic will be the Milne dunking booth. I certainly hope well all have a chance to attend with smiles on our faces.
------------------------

There ya go, Marianne.
Twould be fun to go to Paul's party -- we've had some wild party ideas posted on other threads :-) -- but it ain't likely to happen. Y2K looks really really BAD at this juncture :_(

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), October 15, 1999.

Fixed. You gotta remember the HTML paragraph tags, Marianne.

With "reservations" I guess I don't mind my "handle" being thanked.

Diane

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), October 15, 1999.

Diane, looks like we're on the same HTML wavelengths :-)

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), October 15, 1999.

Paul, I hope you'll consider putting Rob Michaels in charge of the Entertainment Committee for your party. Needless to say, King of Spain should handle the mudwrestling. There'll be the fruitcake lobbing contest, the best stealth duck story, oh, tons of contests. I should be honored to judge the contest for the most artistic use for an overabundance of supplies. (Categories to include: cat litter, rice, toilet paper, beans, pasta, etc.)

-- Old Git (anon@spamproblems.com), October 16, 1999.

Like wow man, I haven't been in the underground since the 60's

-- Hippie Chic (groovy@cool.net), October 16, 1999.

Diane, Ashton & Leska, et. al,

Thanks for the rescue!

I understand what you're saying but let's cross our fingers for some really good ribs. (Can you believe he's made the offer? I'm telling you, he's SERIOUS! Complete with the "Milne Dunking Booth."

By the way, Milne rhymes with the word Kiln. Why do I care? It's those darn television interviews. 'Gotta pronounce it right--not just spell it right. Sheesh. (My work's cut out for me over the next few months. Especially with the revised edition of this book coming out after the first of the year!)

Thanks again!

-- Marianne Michaels (scipublic@aol.com), October 16, 1999.

Oh "Gawd," Old Git!

You absolutely MUST email Paul your suggestions, along with the URL for this thread.

Just tell him I sent you.

ROTFLMAO!!!!

Send it to fedinfo@halifax.com (Paul Milne)

I promise you, he won't bite. He may view CSY2K as "bloodsport" but he will truly get a kick out of this!

-- Marianne Michaels (scipublic@aol.com), October 16, 1999.

Marianne: 1) Up front you told us your name.

2) You told us what you were doing and how you were doing it.


WHOLLY UNLIKE a certain person from a very cold university who posted on a thread I'm SURE you have been referred to.

Having said this, you may go ahead and use my "handle" so long as the e-mail doesn't get shown as my whole name is embedded in the set of handle and e-mail.

Chuck a night driver who has JUST EXPLAINED why this is NOT inconsistent with his answer on the aformentioned thread so don't START with the "Hypocrasy" card!

-- Chuck, a night driver (rienzoo@en.com), October 16, 1999.

Marianne,

Though I doubt you used anything I wrote I have no problem with you making up some cool handle and attaching it...just let me know : )

I'm wondering if your book may well be the catalyst to real awareness. Irony seems to be ruling the day as of late and humor is very necessary.

Good luck!

Mike

===================================================================

-- Michael Taylor (mtdesign3@aol.com), October 16, 1999.

I don't get the "Toilet Paper" part of the title. Are you saying this book should be read while you are taking care of business in the bathroom, or what? Have you written any other books yet?

-- name (email@ddress.none), October 16, 1999.

The entire post is just so much crap.Who cares if you publish the book or not.I hate to rain on your parade.But what excatly is your Point?

-- Dan Newsome (BOONSTAR1@webnet.tv), October 16, 1999.

"The entire post is just so much crap.Who cares if you publish the book or not.I hate to rain on your parade.But what excatly is your Point?

-- Dan Newsome (BOONSTAR1@webnet.tv), October 16, 1999."

Dan

Comforting to have a "webtv" addy but some folk have been at the y2k awareness before "webtv". No doubt your name will be mentioned.

Marianne

Who are you talking to? It is kind of neat to see Pat's quote but there are so many folk that have "stuck their neck out" you could never contact them all. How long have you been researching this? Have you ever lived a y2k lifestyle? Minimalism is not all its cracked up to be :o). Hope your book is good.

-- Brian (imager@home.com), October 16, 1999.

YOU GO, GIRL !!

-- Taz (Taz@aol.com), October 16, 1999.

Dear "name";

If you had bothered to follow this forum for more than, oh, a couple weeks, you would have seen the recurring theme of "buying more TP". At one time, and the archives will attest to this, TP was the largest purchase item on EVERYONE'S list. Hence, Marianne's title.

Night Train the Clone (no appologies to Jim Rome)

-- jes an ol fotballer who hapens to be the Forum Rome Clone (nighttr@in.lane), October 16, 1999.

Yes! I want my 15 minutes of fame! Don't use the E mail, but other than that...have your way with me.

-- Uncle Deedah (unkeed@yahoo.com), October 16, 1999.

Oooo, Deedah! What an offer!

;-D

BTW, These are the key threads where she describes the book...

An Author Writes: Have I Described You Correctly? Please Comment. Urgent Book Deadline. (1999-09-28)

http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 001UJ6

Forum Old Timers: Guess the Caption

http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/admin-q-and-a- fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id=001UYh

"Toilet Paper Chronicles" Update and Message to Paul Milne: Email me. I need a quote.

http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/admin-q-and-a- fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id=001Yew

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), October 16, 1999.

Not that it really matters but hey Go for it and congrats...

-- Billy Boy (Rakkasan@Yahoo.com), October 16, 1999.

Now besides having to divert precious funds from our toilet paper budget (less than 1,000 rolls is for wimps), I've got to save for a vacation to home next summer so I can be near Milne's place for the party. I wouldn't miss it for the world.

And as I have said before, I'm more than willing to take my place in the booth, too. As long as nobody adds rice and beans to the water and builds a fire under the tank.

WW

-- Wildweasel (vtmldm@epix.net), October 16, 1999.

Will I get a cut of the take? (This is negotiable...)

-- Tom Carey (tomcarey@mindspring.com), October 17, 1999.

Congratulations Tom! You're the first person I've seen on the forum thus far who doesn't want to be played for a fool. Smart man.

-- @ (@@@.@), October 17, 1999.

Marianne, Paul may have already seen this. He's probably trying to figure out a diplomatic way to let me know he doesn't want an old git mudwrestling with the King of Spain. It's okay, Paul, the mud will cover the wrinkles and cellulite! Besides, I don't think KoS cares if anyone sees his minor imperfections (big grin). We can always wrap him in one of my mylar emergency blankets. And, as has been discussed previously, I can bring some of that good old Durham clay mud. We can encase the King in it, wait until it dries (from the heat of all those Coleman propane lamps), then chip bits off with a hammer to sell for souvenirs. Wow! What a concept! I know which bit I'd like to have for the mantelpiece.

-- Old Git (anon@spamproblems.com), October 17, 1999.

I am HOWLING! More on that in a minute. . . Mike, You wrote: <> I don't know Mike. All I know, is that I don't have the credentials to write yet another "Y2k Book." I DO have the writing credentials to approach the subject THIS way. There is MUCH information out there that has not been addressed in the mainstream media. The book is funny, as its title implies, but please note it is not titled "Slapstick Humor from the Y2k Underground," or "Moronic Y2k Humor," or anything like that. Gallows humor implies something dark, and how humans deal with it. All I know is that readers will not be able to "Put their brains" in neutral when reading this book. Taz, Thanks for your good wishes! I hope you're O.K. (Irene and all!) Night Train, Well put! You GOT IT. Uncle Deed, I'm blushing! Diane, Thanks for the links. I'll talk TO YOU later! [Grin] Wildweasel, <> ROTFL! Tom, Check your email. -- @ (@@@.@), Don't bother to check YOURS. Old Git, Are you sure you're not REALLY Dave Barry? LOL! By the way, Virginia is the home of some really fine fruitcake! Check it out at:

I'm told it's just heavenly

Thanks all, for the moral support. Back to the salt mines. Gotta kill a few more trees.

-- Marianne Michaels (scipublic@aol.com), October 17, 1999.

Let's try that again, with FORMATTING. (Maybe. My future as an HTML author is certainly doomed.) I am HOWLING! More on that in a minute. . . Mike, You wrote: "I'm wondering if your book may well be the catalyst to real awareness" I don't know Mike. All I know, is that I don't have the credentials to write yet another "Y2k Book." I DO have the writing credentials to approach the subject THIS way. There is MUCH information out there that has not been addressed in the mainstream media. The book is funny, as its title implies, but please note it is not titled "Slapstick Humor from the Y2k Underground," or "Moronic Y2k Humor," or anything like that. Gallows humor implies something dark, and how humans deal with it. All I know is that readers will not be able to "Put their brains" in neutral when reading this book. Taz, Thanks for your good wishes! I hope you're O.K. (Irene and all!) Night Train, Well put! You GOT IT. Uncle Deed, I'm blushing! Diane, Thanks for the links. I'll talk TO YOU later! [Grin] Wildweasel, You wrote, "As long as nobody adds rice and beans to the water and builds a fire under the tank?" ROTFL! Tom, Check your email. -- @ (@@@.@), Don't bother to do the same. Old Git, Are you sure you're not REALLY Dave Barry? LOL! By the way, Virginia is the home of some really fine fruitcake! Check it out at:

I'm told it's just heavenly

Thanks all, for the moral support. Back to the salt mines. Gotta kill a few more trees.

-- Marianne Michaels (scipublic@aol.com), October 17, 1999.

Yep. HTML impaired alright.

Sorry.

-- Marianne Michaels (scipublic@aol.com), October 17, 1999.

"By the way, Virginia is the home of some really fine fruitcake!"

Yeah, ain't no doubt about that. In over 16 months of reading this forum I don't think I've ever seen such incoherent clueless babbling. Every time she posts on the forum she uses up 3 times as much space because she doesn't know how to use the return key, and then complains about "formatting" html problems. Duuuuhhhhh! I can just imagine what this "book" is going to be like!

Hey Tom, is she going to give you a percentage, or just another one of these.. "[Grin]" ? How cute.

-- @ (@@@.@), October 17, 1999.

Dearest Bawdy OG,

Where you, or did you ever aspire to be, a Plaster Caster in a previous incarnation?

Enquiring minds want to know!

PS If it was good enough for Hendrix, I'm sure it's good enough for KoS.

-- flora (***@__._), October 17, 1999.

Oh MY, -- @ (@@@.@)!

Did we overdose on the nasty pills this afternoon?

I've already exchanged private emails with Tom. Would you like me to email you, too?

OOOOPS! I forgot! I CAN'T! You're anonymous!

[Grin]

-- Marianne Michaels (scipublic@aol.com), October 17, 1999.

Marianne, unfortunately, I am now a Type II diabetic and am forbidden more than 1 cubic centimeter of fruitcake. However, before so afflicted I used to make THE BEST English fruitcake. Here is my recipe, which first appeared in these hallowed threads last January.

CHRISTMAS FRUIT CAKE DELUXE--please read instructions carefully :)

1 cup butter

1 cup sugar

4 large eggs

1 cup mixed dried fruit

1 tsp baking soda

1 tsp salt

1 cup brown sugar

2 tbs lemon juice

1 cup chopped mixed nuts

1 bottle good whisky

Taste whisky to ensure it is good quality. Take a large bowl. Pour one cup of whisky and sample well; best quality must be assured. Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in large fluffy bowl. Add one spoontea of sugar and beat again.

Make sure the whisky is still okay. Cry another tup.

Turn off the mixer. Break two leggs and add to bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If fruit gets stuck in beater blades, pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the whisky again to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whisky.

Now, sift lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one babblespoon of brown sugar or whatever colour you can find. Wix mell. Grease the oven. Turn the cake pan to 350 gredees.

Don't forget to mix off the turner. Throw the bowl out the window, check the whisky again, and bo to ged.

-- Old Git (anon@spamproblems.com), October 17, 1999.

ROTFL, Old Git!

WHAT IS IT about fruitcakes?

I remember living in Georgia for a brief period of time growing up, and one couldn't drive very far it seemed, without seeing a billboard for "Claxton Fruitcakes!" I still remember the white box with the horse and buggy on it! (No way I'm going to tell you how long ago THAT was!)

Does Claxton still MAKE fruitcakes? (I may regret asking this question. . .)

-- Marianne Michaels (scipublic@aol.com), October 17, 1999.

From: Y2K, ` la Carte by Dancr (pic), near Monterey, California

I'm a bit confused by the positive reaction to this book, as compared to the one proposed by the anonymous author. My impression is that these are the same person. I can't say, quite, how I come to that hunch. Marianne, would you please deny this if I'm wrong about that?

-- Dancr (addy.available@my.webpage), October 18, 1999.

Marianne, did you come across this thread on beans and air quality?

http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id=000h17

Newbies should look at this one too; it quite possibly contains some of the funniest posts on this forum.

-- Old Git (anon@spamproblems.com), October 18, 1999.