Total Honesty : LUSENET : Naked Eye : One Thread

I only know one or two people who qualify in the "totally honest" category. So, if you don't like someone's haircut and they ask yuo directly, "Do you like my haircut?" - what do you say?

Do you tell the so-called "harmless" white lie? Or do you tell the truth?

And when ARE white lies okay?

-- Catherine (, October 04, 1999


Interesting supplemental, Emma.

I tend to tell the little white lie. When my daughter, for instance, got her hair cut and was devastated by how it turned out (and I didn't much like it, either) I DID NOT tell her I didn't like it. She was already pretty upset.

What I told her was that she was beautiful and looked beautiful and her hair would grow back. Not technically a lie. She *is* beautiful (this is Mommy talking, remember). But she insisted. "Do you like my haircut?"

I said, "It looks great. You look great."

I felt that she was going to be really sad and frustrated if I said otherwise and it's just not a big issue, is it?

But I wondered if she knew I was telling a "little white lie" and would not trust my word on the big stuff.

I crave honesty. But I crave not hurting people more, I think.


-- Catherine (, October 05, 1999.

you can make that three, catherine. im transparently honest. i think its a very important quality and i am glad i have taken the time to culitvate it in myself.

when it comes to offering advice on a haircut or something, i tell the truth in such a way as to not hurt the persons feelings. honesty does not preclude tact.

i might say, 'actually, i thought your long hair looked lovely on you!' however, if i am asked directly, pointedly, i will answer in kind.

-- emma (, October 04, 1999.

Hrm. I'm in favour of the little white, polite lie, especially about something as personal as someone else's hair or clothing or other idiosyncratic choices. I don't gush and exclaim about how wonderful someone looks when I think to myself they look pretty strange, but I don't tell them that they look strange, either - it's a pretty subjective thing, after all. I expect the same courtesy, frankly. I don't care that much if you hate my hairstyle - it's more important to me to keep them social wheels reasonably greased so that I can shudder through my workday with a minimum of (moderately unnecessary) strife.

-- Catherine (, October 04, 1999.

i wanted to add a supplemental thought.

i feel that when/if we begin lying to other people, we open up the possibility within ourselves that we can begin lying to _ourselves_.

-- emma (, October 04, 1999.

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