You have but this one opportunity to either JOIN us, or DIE!! Those who join will live out their lives in relative comfort, glab to serve the fuzzy collective...be content to help us!!! Be with us and reap the rewards of the benign world of the Rodents...My Arboreal Breatheren are, even now as you read this, are positioning themselves in key strategic areas to assist with the usurping of the pink and brown furless apes!!! Speak now!! Declare your loyalty to my Fealty...or suffer the gravest of consequences!! Become one with the Revolution!!! Overthrow the Furless Ape Monkey Men!!! The Squirrel King Has Spoken!!! Long Live The Rodent Revolution!!!

-- The Squirrel King (Still Nuts@upina.Tree), October 01, 1999

Answers

You're making us rodents look bad. Stop it.

-- hamster (hamster@mycage.com), October 01, 1999.

I have a real problem believing this....

no mention of tinfoil in conjunction with Y2k. No Gary North, no Extraterrestrial Church.

Otherwise, it pretty much fits in...

-- Chicken Little (panic@forthebirds.net), October 01, 1999.

Well, obviously, the weekend is upon us, when the "nut-jobs" come out of the "woodwork" and fill up the forum with trash.

I expect this weekend to be particularly whacky, a new month, entering the final quarter of the year. Anyone know what phase the moon is in tonight?

-- (nuts@and.dolts), October 01, 1999.

Hey I went squirrel hunting this morning. I bagged 3 of these rodents. They are soaking in buttermilk in the fridge right now. We'll eat them on Sunday.

I think this is the solution.

All furless apes take arms. Squirrel season is open. Its your duty to keep the power on to bag the legal daily limit in you state.

Grab your 410. Grab your 20 gauge. Grab your AK-47.

Put your y2k ammo hoard to good use!

Defend your right to continous electricity.

Don't let a good squirrell get fried.

Put him in a stew or bar-b-que.

-- todays Tom Sawyer (RUSH@2112.rockon!), October 01, 1999.

The Y2K Compliant solution!!

;-D

Diane

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), October 01, 1999.

If all those squirrels are getting fried on the electric wires, how come there are so damn many of them in my back yard? You have my permission to hunt. Those things mulitply like rabbits.

-- (Ohms@zap.com), October 01, 1999.

We think The Squirrel King is going to win this one! His army and strategy have already taken down the electricity several times in Oregon/Washington in the past couple months. The sleeping weeples are very content when informed that the Squirrels have once again disrupted the power. They buy this line totally and are quite content with it. The squirrely tactics have so conditioned the masses to mute acceptance that the time is ripe for The Plan.

-- Ashton & Leska in Squirrel Country (allaha@earthlink.net), October 01, 1999.

I saw two of your relatives today squished on the road, one was laying on it's back with his legs sticking up in the air. Down the road, there was a racoon splattered, and saw several skunks who met the same fate. At the rate of road kill that I saw today, it's amazing that you or your furry friends are still around.

-- bardou (bardou@baloney.com), October 01, 1999.

My Sovereign! I, your lowly servant, have aquired the information as to where the furless apes have hidden all the walnuts.

Stand by for file transfer!

-- The Squirrel Mole (bok0non@my-Deja.com), October 01, 1999.

Seven little chipmonks twirlin on a branch Eatin lots of sunflowers, on my Uncle's Ranch

7, that's the key number here.

Step into my office.....

-- Super (Slfsl@yahoo.com), October 01, 1999.

This has to be the squirlliest thread to hit this forum in a long time.

I like it.

-- Paul Neuhardt (neuhardt@ultranet.com), October 01, 1999.

Your Most Exalted Furiness,

I have read your ultimatum, and have seen the futility of resistance. I herewith surrender to your authority, and pledge my allegence to your realm of ultimate squirrelldumb, er...dom. I might add, that I have for the past several years kept two bir...ah, squirrell feeders in my yard, filled constantly with toothsome rodent treats in anticipation of your coming kingdom. (By the way, those electric wires around the feeders were never plugged in, and were only to frighten the birds anyway.)

I also hereby offer my services to the bushy-tail secret militia. I have had extensive training in the Fruitcake Resistance League, as an unintellengent agent, and might be usefull, should you require covert actions against the pink apes.

I further recant my reported, and greatly exagerated, fondness for squirrell and dumplins, and disown my cousin, Denise "Ding-bat" Dubois, whom everyone knows as a squrrelly nuisance.

Long live the rodent revolution!

(not Lon Frank), but the agent to be known as "Nutsy"

-- Agent Nutsy (lgal@exp.net), October 01, 1999.

SK,

I thought the concern of jail doors opening on 1/1/00 was going to be a problem until I read this thread!!!!! Y'all been chowin' down to many Fruit Loops!! 91 and counting.

BTW, even squirrels gather nuts for the winter season, so, they must be smarter than Polly's??

-- ripley (ubready@soon.com), October 01, 1999.

Ripley, Your post about squirrels gathering nuts for winter takes the cake! Polly wanna squirrel?

-- (Ohms@zap.com), October 01, 1999.

I remember when there were millions of us on this continent. Thousands of us would band together and travel from one place to a better one for eating and breeding. We will rise again. Our time has come, finally, with the aid of cleverly programmed computers...

-- SQ (SquirrelBro@aol.com), October 01, 1999.

Let's let the squirrels have a go at it. They can't possibly screw it up worse than we have.

-- Mabel Dodge (cynical@me.net), October 01, 1999.

Your Most Pomposterous Perloiner,

I beg to report that I have successfully inflitrated the FRL stronghold, as secretly ordered. Whereupon, I discovered several tons of perfectly delectable nuts, which had been removed from fruitcakes which filled their armory (something about the Geneva Convention, and uncivilized weaponry).

Further, I must report that the FRL has enlisted a mercenary force of masked (Ninja?) agents, and a anti-terrorist squad of spring-tailed cats (This spells danger with a double GRRR). These forces, along with the renowned stealth geese squadron, may prove to be formidable.

However, their leader seems to have a fondness for rum-soaked fruitcakes (minus the fruitcake), and the mobile artillery farce is an old clown car outfitted only with methane gas flame-throwers. (They seem to have an abundance of methane gas)

Since no one has identified me or my mission, I expect to further infiltrate the FRL, and will post another missive shortly.

Your most deprecating syncophant,

-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), October 01, 1999.

OOOPS!!!

I mean AGENT NUTSY

Definately NOT Lon Frank, (whoever he is, anyway)

-- Agent Nutsy (lgal@exp.net), October 01, 1999.

Mr. King,

Beware, you are addressing a forum that is better armed than most countries.

You have been warned. Now get back to work, and hide your nuts.

<:)=

-- Sysman (y2kboard@yahoo.com), October 01, 1999.

Hi folks! The power company said they will give me and all my buddies a lifetime supply of nuts if we start dancing on all of the wires starting January 1, 2000. So remember, if your lights go out it is not because of that silly bug, it's because of us squirrels and rodents.



) 1997 Hamsterdance.com

-- @ (@@@.@), October 02, 1999.

BTW, even squirrels gather nuts for the winter season, so, they must be smarter than Polly's??

Squirrels are HOARDING nuts?

Does Koskinen know about this?! Does the ABA?!

Do you realize the risk to the nut banks if those survivalist rodents hoard more than a weekend's worth of nuts?!!!

Alert FEMA! Alert the ATF! Alert the National Guard! Alert the FBI!

And of course, get the ABA to write a sermon. This is serious.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

-- Linda (lwmb@psln.com), October 02, 1999.

This squirrel revolt must come to an end. I have over 5,000 rounds of hollow point .22 ammo, a 3-9 scope on my ruger 10/22 with a 30 round clip. I know where these squirrels live, I know their habits and they love to eat nuts. Save the nuts, kill some squirrels!

-- Bill (y2khippo@yahoo.com), October 02, 1999.

And when we're done with THOSE, we shall chant, "Kill da wabbit, kill da WABITT, KILL DA WA-BITTTTT"

-- Will continue (farming@home.com), October 02, 1999.

bok0non@my-Deja.com), October 03, 1999.