Hi Folks,

I've got a theory.

For some time I've been a "Clinton-hater," because he's - well, he's a psychotic criminal entity. The other day I was going through the list of Clinton crimes - selling nuclear secrets and Executive influence over our military to the Communist Chinese; the Body Count (starting with Vince Foster); Filegate (i.e., the dirt he has on our useless Republicans in Congress - with only a few exceptions); bombing the sovereign nation of Serbia; Waco; raping Juanita Broderick; the list just doesn't quit - and suddenly it dawned on me: this guy so dirty he's just a little TOO dirty. And the media "spin," ommission and contradiction isn't working, even for civil-rights- or gun-fixated liberals; it's just creating inner conflict between what we're being told and what we know to be true. We all know this guy is the most rotten emperor since Nero, and when he turns on the arkie charm it just makes it worse anymore. It's all out in the open; or at least, if there's anything hid, it couldn't be worse than what we all know, even if we're in denial about it - especially selling us out to the Communist Chinese...

So, my theory: WHAT IF IT'S ALL AN ACT? What if, anticipating the end of the cold war and the rising threat of a Russo/Chinese alliance, the think-tanks and the PTB decided they needed something to shake up a flabby and apathetic populace overdosed on their own prosperity? What if they decided they needed a scapegoat, a public figure so vile and repugnant to everything we hold dear, so traitorous, venal and lecherous that Americans we shocked into a renewed sense of morality and national identity? Something to make us rise up as one and renew some sense of accountability in our leadership that would revitalize the Republic, and with it, Western Culture. And so, they decided to create THE MOST CORRUPT LEADER IN HISTORY - A PRESIDENTIAL TRAITOR. A young Bill Clinton is on the short list of candidates; he bravely, selflessly volunteers to become the MOST DESPISED PRESIDENT EVER - because he loves America. His first assignment: dodge the draft, cultivate a fondness for coke, make lots of revolutionary Marxist contacts, and start taking money from Chinese agents. Later, as his path to power is cleared for him, he would learn to force himself to do other (very) unsavory things, lie convincingly enough to stay in power (with some help from his friends) - and yet LEAVE A TRAIL A MILE WIDE FOR OTHERS TO FIND LATER.

At the end of the century, things get so bad that his own party starts to view him as a liability, and millions of grossed-out Americans can't help looking in the mirror, thinking about their own disgusting habits: pornography addiction, substance abuse, adultery and promiscuity, LYING, overeating, throwing aluminum cans in the trash instead of the recycle bin... The plan is working. In addition to moving Americans away from republicratism and toward a viable multi-party system that promises to put government back in the hands of the people, the Scapegoat President is serving as an unavoidable NEGATIVE EXAMPLE. Our economically expedient illusion of the Communist Chinese as "friends" is shattered by Clinton's and the DNC's ham-handed receipt of Commie bribe-money, their theft of our nuclear arsenal (cleverly left in plain sight) and his decimation of our military, which he spreads as thinly as possible over the entire globe.

Ultimately, the load becomes too great, and the Presidential Goat's misdeeds catch up with him. The new administration is held more accountable, the population is aware of the threat foreign powers surely hold for us, and the bar of moral standards and civic duty in our culture is raised. Kids stop packing heat. "Road Rage" is replaced by an outbreak of common courtesy. People smile and say "hello" to one another. America rejects the image of itself as just another rusty link on a globalist chain, and "Patriot" is no longer a dirty word. Clinton is hounded into seclusion and goes down in history as the lowest point to which government has ever sunk, or, God willing, will ever sink again. For generations thereafter, people stop naming their kids "Bill," and spit when they hear the name "Clinton." And the man nobly carries his silence to the grave; no one but he, and an elite circle of wise men, would ever know that Bill Clinton, traitor, was in fact:

BILL CLINTON, GREAT AMERICAN HERO.

That's right: I still believe there's a conspiracy. But now I think they have our best interests at heart. Really.

Would I lie to you?

Liberty

-- Liberty (liberty@theready.now), September 22, 1999

Answers

The right wing author of the best-selling expose on Hillary Clinton now says that Ken Starr, hand picked by Bill Clinton to serve as independent prosecutor, was part of an elaborate scheme to orchestrate the Jones/Lewinsky affair. Oooo-kay.

Boy I sure wish you Clinton haters would get your stories straight...

-- a (a@a.a), September 22, 1999.

Actually, one of Ken Starr's lawfirms clients, prior to the oral sex charade was (drumroll please):

THE PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC OF CHINA

I understand the Lewinsky "scandal" to be a distraction from other breaking stories, principally the CIA cocaine trail, and the extent of Chinese bribery. No real stretch of the imagination there, once you know who was involved, who was paying who. Do a search on "Starr" over here: freerepublic.com. Check out their China section, too.

Liberty

-- Liberty (liberty@theready.now), September 22, 1999.

Liberty, I want some of what you have been smoking...

listenin'...

THe Dog

-- Dog (Desert Dog@-sand.com), September 22, 1999.

The deceased Ron Brown (with an amazing hole in his head that looked exactly like a bullet hole but was instead said to be caused from a bolt or something that flew loose during the plane crash) apparently confided in his business partner/lover that Ken Starr was the investigator du jour, and also told her that he asked Clinton to fix things for him as he had done with Starr. He was also stupid enough to let it be known that he would take others down with him. It was fixed all right.

-- Mumsie (Shezdremn@aol.com), September 22, 1999.

If anyone actually seemed to care about his transgressions I might think you had a point there.

-- Uncle Deedah (unkeed@yahoo.com), September 22, 1999.

It's a good thing Socks the First Cat learned to use the First Litter Box.

Too bad the American Nero hasn't learned to hide his messes, but that's because he's a dog person and lets them lie for all to see.

Arf arf!

-- Randolph (dinosaur@williams-net.com), September 22, 1999.

The problem though, with the Starr-Clinton conspiracy, is that Congress had the evidence but didn't impeach him. Are we then to believe that most of Congress was involved in this dupe? Hardly. Syncronocity I say.

-- a (a@a.a), September 22, 1999.

Liberty: I think you would really enjoy "The Devil's Advocate" by Taylor Caldwell. Your concept, written in 1953.

-- DaveW (dwood@southwind.net), September 22, 1999.

Liberty,

You know, it doesn't strike me as anymore implausible than 90% of the crackpot theories floated about on this board. By next week, this theory will probably have it's own website.

-- Bokonon (bok0non@my-Deja.com), September 22, 1999.

Bill Clinton as a modern day Horatio at the Bridge...that's pretty good.

Oddly enough, I've had similar thoughts...what if?

-- chairborne commando (what-me-worry@armageddon.com), September 23, 1999.

".. he bravely, selflessly volunteers to become the MOST DESPISED PRESIDENT EVER - because he loves America. His first assignment: dodge the draft, cultivate a fondness for coke, (and women) make lots of revolutionary Marxist contacts, and start taking money from Chinese agents."

Its a terrible job, but somebody's got to do it.

But a plan to revitalize truth, justice and the American way? Doubt it.

How 'bout this though. His foibles work to decrease faith in government. As does the plan to impeach him on sex charges rather than murder or treason. That failed impeachment attempt (mentioned in the media first by his "ex"-good buddy George S. (and orchestrated by Starr) innoculated him against any more serious charges as the country now wouldn't stand for another impeachment trial. But in the process we all got thoroughly disgusted with BOTH sides of the isle. Now enter GW, who not only has some family skeletons (some in the same closet as Clinton's), but the drug thingy gets floated. Result? We think the whole lot of them are slimy liers. Possible goal? Weakening our faith in *American* government. Oh sure, there are Patriot groups active.. esp. on the internet. But notice how even the word "Patriot" has been given a "taint"... like survivalist?

Military downsizing. Budgets cut. Troops scattered. Training for urban warfare.. of our military and others. Voters disallusioned with politics and goverment officials of all types. Waco back in the news. Military secrets allowed to fall into enemy hands. Panama and Haiti abandoned (to the Chinese?). Gun controls tightening. Reno hints at "permanent solution" to gun violence. Kalifornia leads the way to confiscation.. bit by bit. The idea of "civil defense" and "preparedness" turned into the enemy.

Doesn't sound to me like we are being led to a flag waving rally. Sounds like to me we are being deliberately weakened physically and morally, and made less able and less willing to defend ourselves or our country.

Bring on the U.N./N.A.T.O. ... gotta be better than this ol' tattered red,while and blue. Doesn't stand for anything any more anyway. Right?

-- Linda (lwmb@psln.com), September 23, 1999.

another alternative...maybe this isn't all fiction, all acting--maybe he is as evil as he looks. because satan doesn't know exactly when "his time" will come--he looks for a good candidate for the antichrist in every generation. then he will supernaturally enhance his candidate's already evil disposition. who knows--maybe he has found a good candidate.

-- tt (cuddluppy@yahoo.com), September 23, 1999.

Somebody here's got too much time on their hands.

Sheesh!

-- OR (orwelliator@biosys.net), September 23, 1999.