What Greenspan *Really* Said

We'll take a stab at parsing the quadruple-speak. Par-snips, moving paragraph by paragraph down:

Ain't gonna step on no expert toes. Exceptionally complex (who knows what the hell we're doing or how it will turn out) and we can't stop busting buns yet, ain't fixed yet. Gotta make the Good News more persuasive. Ready. The public has bought into our spin so far. Fears seem to be waning, but we gotta keep up the bull$#!+ to ensure the anesthesia remains effective.

This problem has never happened before, so we don't know what the hell is going on. There have been no official academic studies or statistics regarding this unprecedented FUBAR, so we have nothing to go on. Common sense has never been examined or calculated to various government-funded doctrines, so we can't go there. However, we can flub our way to a new conventional wisdom by observing that nothing works too well anyway, so dammit lower your expectations. We ain't gonna have electric power so don't expect Trading. Whew, at least there's a precedent for that conclusion. The mechanical and electronic systems will break down. That will become a normal part of our everyday life. It is simply unrealistic to expect our advanced-beyond-comprehension/repair technology to function. ATMs and banks are history. We'll make sure the media does not report how wide-spread these outages are, thus leading the weeples to believe their locality is just the normal 1-2% out of service anyway, due to, uh, some reason. Any reason, uh, terrorism probably. Or squirrels. You know how squirrely they get in January. Perfection, which I said was necessary, is um, impossible. Bank Holidays.

OK, granted systems will fail. But be forewarned system failures at Rollover will be broad, catastrophic, long-lasting, persistently spectacular disasters. We were idiots to become so dependent on computers. We've been able to limp along and FOF so far, but this is too big. This collapse of infrastructure and carrying capacity will have a noticeable effect on the economy. Uh, in other words, the economy will be squashed and eliminated. Our interconnections with the clueless rest of the world will ensure global downfall. The over $50 billion of expense by the private sector has been enough to keep our current bubble afloat; gotta give me credit for that ledgerdemain.

History, and past stale studies, which address failures short of systemic, shows that previously we could be adaptable. However, now for sure telecoms and rails are toast. Before, the dollar was butt-kicking incentive to fix things. This time, our only hope will be reallocation of resources, martial law, and drafting of labor. No pay. Corporations will tank. We have biz models that show how. Firms will not survive due to inability to recover from these technical problems.

To recover quickly you need a skilled, well-educated workforce. Everybody knows that's been dumbed to slower than water, and rightsized into apathy and general piss-off. The morons in the executive suite won't be any help, and wouldn't recognize a solution to anything even if it gatored them deep in the ass. It's the grunts on the floor that actually save the day, but they're too boxed in to prevent this disaster. Houston, we have a serious problem. We'll have limited materials in a crippled environment. It's gonna go Challenger. CDC will be idiot.sinchronic.istic event. Our society will go ballistic as problems cascade out of control.

This morning we'll hear glossy-over BS from the all-important financial industry, blah blah blah. Listen with perspective: even tho some claim to be mobilized, too many were late off the chopping block and are useless carcasses. Let's not obsess about the Mother Of All Breakdowns; after all, some of us have contingency plans. We will be isolated in our bunkers. For years we will need disinfection, however.

While sometimes even I relax in the glow of our BS spin, the reaction of businesses and households to the reality scares the hell out of me. If they catch on and run the banks, our economy will tank majorly before Rollover.

If only we could have kept a lid on Y2K awareness from the very beginning! But we didn't GI. It was never any business of the populess that we were facing an unprecedented life-threatened technical collapse. They must not be allowed to take actions benefitting their life continuity. They are pawn serf slaves meant only to fuel the economic engine into my pockets and coffins, err, coffers. Given the mind-blowing all-encompassing reach of Rollover disastrous impacts, no whiff of this problem should ever have leaked to a reactionary public. We cannot let them think there is any reason to prepare.

Seeing how their remediation efforts are hopelessly late and unfixable, large businesses are aghast to discover their suppliers and local infrastructure are doing no better and won't be able to pull them out of the quicksand. The multiple dependencies will pull everybody down. JIT will sink the whole system. It's too late to stock up inventories. Besides, we no longer have the production capability to ramp up on such short notice. But we can avert panic by lying through our smiling gritted teeth and proclaiming everything is fixed and there is absolutely no reason for concern. No uncertainty can be allowed. Redouble your doublespeak lipflapping! Only inaccurate, noncredible, and untimely information on the general state of unreadiness will be permitted, so businesses can then make uninformed decisions that no type or magnitude of precuations are in any way necessary.

If even a few businesses get it into their heads to notice and take even small hedge preparations, the panic will spread and our system will (3 months) prematurely tank. Bottlenecks will be apparent and our necks will be on the chopping block. We must guillotine any possibility of this occurring. This pressure is disturbing my sleep so we absolutely cannot share any real information and at all costs must dissuade any preparation by any means.

There are alarming nascient indications that a scramble to liquidity is at the cusp. We're melting.

The most crucial unknown at this point is the behavior of JQP. The average citizen's latent wake-up would be the crux of our crucifixion. We must propagandate our fiction to prevent this.

We at the Federal Preserve have secretly prepared for this ultimate Contingency. We have special plans to make currency unavailable to JQP in the even he wakes up and wants it. The only safe place for money is out of reach of its owners. We will stonewall withdrawals by lying to JQP and telling him all he needs is up-to-date copies of his financial records. Of course there are several loopholes declaring these utterly worthless, but we can make JQP feel the hard copy of his bank statement is worth more than gold. We herewith declare computer glitches "normal" and to be expected.

Again, nobody knows what the hell is coming. We're going to slip thru the cracks into The Crevass Leading Straight To Hell. This much is certain, since mission-critical systems will fail, testing has not been done, back-up plans have not been ascertained, and the American worker has become an ossified rigid petulant puissant whose brain has been turned to mush (gotta give me credit for that too). Polls and surveys are useful sway tools to keep the herd contentedly chewing our pablum. If we keep repeating with great assurance that our computer infrastructure is compliant, we can massage and assuage at least some of the public's earlier Y2K concerns. We can manipulate confidence thru tweaking interest rates.

Fortunately we have managed to stave off media attention to the CountDown. Human nature may see this as an exciting entertainment event, however, so we must redouble quadruple our disinformation to counter any normal human interest in countdowns or rollovers. We must convince the herd that any such interest is the province of only the fringe, untouchables, undesireables, terrorists, maniacs, whackos, religious fanatics, and other dangerous persons. Contamination by association. Roach by ridicule. Persecute by preparation. Drive these concerns far underground.

We at the Federal Preserve will persevere. We have bunkers and stockpiles. We are the only ones that matter, so the Great Cull will, in the long run, not be a major event for our nation. We have practice at surpressing history. The great spin and Cull is testosteronement to the extraordinary stupidity of millions of short-sided, greedy, selfish, lazy, pointy-haired managers who, confronted with an intangible and abstract problem, have been able to laugh it off with snide sneers and convince their equally daft peers to marshall all their ridicule and scoffing to unremediated mismanagement. This has been a truly impressive feat (gotta give me credit for here too). If we avoid fear-induced, significant economic responses in the months ahead, the Century Date Change will hopefully replicate the saga of "the boy who cried wolf."

-- Ashton & Leska (allaha@earthlink.net), September 17, 1999

Answers

If you compare paragraph for paragraph, that's what Greenspan *really* said ;^)

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), September 17, 1999.

http://www.bog.frb.fed.us/BoardDocs/speeches/1999/19990917.htm

Remarks by Chairman Alan Greenspan Before the President's Council on Year 2000 Conversion, Financial Sector Group, Year 2000 Summit, Washington, D.C.

September 17, 1999

Good morning, everyone. It's an honor to speak today to such an esteemed group. All of you are experts on the implications of the Century Date Change for our sector of the economy, and I suspect I will not have much to add beyond what already is well known. We face an exceptionally complex problem that has required and will continue to require the commitment of significant amounts of resources to fix. The good news is that evidence is becoming more persuasive that our electronic infrastructure will be ready for the Century Date Change. The public's understanding of the degree of our Y2K readiness also has grown, and fears of widespread disruptions around the CDC appear to be waning, though we are not as yet home free.

There is nothing exactly like the Century Date Change in our historical annals from which we can infer its potential consequences. Nonetheless, it is the beginning of wisdom in thinking about the Y2K problem to recognize that failures and breakdowns in mechanical and electronic systems are a normal part of our everyday life. Recall the most recent example of how an electric power failure shut down the Chicago Board of Trade. Thus, as a standard for monitoring developments, it is simply unrealistic to expect our advanced technology to function any better on January 1, 2000, than it has on any other day of the year. Automated teller machines are a prime example of this. On any given day, 1 to 2 percent of the nation's ATMs are out of service for some reason. Although the banking system and ATM providers are about as prepared for Y2K as they can be, we cannot realistically expect perfection over the New Year's holiday any more than at similar periods in years past.

Moreover, while systems may fail as they have in the past, these failures never have resulted in broader and persistent--that is, systemic--breakdowns in our economy. Notwithstanding, it is at least conceivable that, as a consequence of our current dependence on computers, some Y2K-related failures could have noticeable effects on the economy. But as a result of vast effort and an estimated $50 billion of expense by the private sector, enough of our critical infrastructure has been judged Y2K-compliant to view the probability of any systemic breakdown as negligible, even granting the uncertainties associated with our interconnections with less-prepared foreign countries.

In the event of breakdowns short of systemic, history teaches us that businesses are remarkably adaptive, whether the adversities were the failure of AT&T's frame relay network, defective routers in the MCI- WorldCom data transmission network, or the clogged arteries of the Union Pacific railroad. In our market-based economy, economic incentives ensure that resources quickly move to their most- productive activities: In a crisis situation, whether systemic or short of that, companies expeditiously redeploy their labor and capital resources to facilitate the restoration of their key operations. Corporate management is wholly aware that a slow response to a breakdown can bring revenue losses in the short run and an erosion of their customer base in the long run. Simply put, in our competitive economic environment, the ability to recover quickly from a serious technical problem can literally be a matter of survival for some firms.

Fortunately, our country has the skilled, well-educated workforce that is a precondition for such quick action. While ingenious solutions can sometimes originate from the executive suite, more often than not they grow out of the ability of engineers, technicians, and workers on the factory floor to improvise a temporary fix for a critical problem. Depth of experience and the ability of our workers to think "outside of the box" have prevented many a problem from turning into a disaster. Think back to the team of NASA engineers that developed a critical air filtration system for the Apollo 13 astronauts using only the limited materials available on that crippled spacecraft. While certainly less dramatic, similar problem solving is occurring every day in our economy, fostered by workers who can rise to a challenge and a market system that rewards extraordinary efforts. Thus, while no one knows exactly what will happen on January 1--the CDC is a truly idiosyncratic event--we do have a good idea of how our society will respond if problems develop.

This morning we will hear many progress reports on the Y2K readiness of the financial industry and other key sectors. As we listen, it is most important to keep in perspective just how far we have come in our Y2K preparations. Three years ago, only the largest and arguably the most forward-looking of organizations had mobilized for the Century Date Change. Today, many firms and government agencies have completed their testing, and those institutions that were late off the block are working very diligently to be ready by the end of the year. While it is easy to obsess about the few institutions in our society that may not be ready, let us not lose sight of the fact that the overwhelming majority of us are not only prepared but have contingency plans to deal with breakdowns. Much has been learned over the past few years about how to disinfect our computer systems from the Y2K bug and how to isolate any problems that may occur. This large and growing knowledge base will serve us well as we approach the millennium and for years thereafter.

While I have become increasingly persuaded that the technical breakdowns that might occur as a consequence of the CDC are readily containable, the response of businesses and households to unwarranted fears of serious disruptions does give me pause. It is the economic effects of their endeavoring to adjust to the CDC in the next few months that I see as replacing technical concerns as our major challenge.

I am not saying that we would have been better off if the existence of the Y2K problem had never been publicized. In that event, the remedial actions that have been expended over the past two years would surely have fallen short. Although the desirability of publicizing the existence of a pending significant technical breakdown was never in question--and never should have been--it always raised the potential hazard of an outsized, if only partly informed, disruptive reaction by the public. Given the potentially broad range of uncertain outcomes at the CDC, the cost of advance preventative preparations in most cases is probably correctly perceived by businesses and households to be low, or at least acceptable.

Thus, with their own remediation efforts either complete or nearing completion, many large businesses are currently evaluating the readiness of their suppliers and the local infrastructure on which they depend. Based on such assessments, these companies are deciding whether, for example, to hold inventory levels above their tight, just-in-time programs as a precaution against Y2K-related disruptions. Because businesses are effectively buying insurance against an uncertainty, the less uncertainty, the smaller the perceived insurance need. Thus, accurate, credible, and timely information on the general state of readiness will be essential to reducing uncertainties in the months ahead. Businesses then can make more-informed decisions as to the type and magnitude of the precautions they need to take.

If only a small percentage of businesses choose to add to their inventories as a hedge, the effect on production will be insignificant. However, should a large number of companies want to hold even a few extra days of inventories, the necessary, albeit temporary, increase in production (or imports) to accommodate such stock building could be quite large. Bottlenecks could develop, and market pressure could ensue. Thus, the more we share information, the more informed our decisions and, hence, the smaller the need for precautionary hedging.

While the evidence of precautionary inventory hedging to date is mixed, in the financial sphere, borrowers and lenders are clearly taking steps to build liquid assets and reduce their reliance on credit markets around the end of the year. This is reflected in a noticeable rise in deposit and commercial paper rates for funding that would be outstanding over year's end. Many corporate treasurers have moved forward their debt offerings to avoid any chance of a dearth of credit availability in the fourth quarter or difficulties funding short-term liabilities. The Century Date Change Special Liquidity Facility of the discount window that was approved by the Federal Reserve Board in July and the contingency actions of the Federal Open Market Committee announced by the Federal Reserve Bank of New York on September 8 should help to ensure an ample supply of liquidity and relieve funding pressures.

The potentially most important piece in the Y2K puzzle for the rest of the year is the uncertain response of the American consumer as the year-end approaches. A small number of households, driven by fear of the unknown, tell pollsters that they are planning to build large stockpiles of food, water, fuel, and cash as the millennium approaches. Most, however, profess much more limited plans.

Nonetheless, we at the Federal Reserve must be prepared for all contingencies and have made especial plans for currency availability in the remote possibility of heavy withdrawals from banks. I trust that such withdrawals will be modest since, as I have said before, the safest thing for consumers to do with their money around year-end is to leave it where it is. Consumers should prepare for the Century Date Change as they would for any long weekend. Those people who do cash out a significant part of their deposits only increase the risk that they will become victims of crime or fraud. Prudent consumers nonetheless should always have up-to-date copies of their financial records just in case of a "normal" computer glitch.

In summary, no one really knows what will happen when the century rolls over. The Century Date Change, to repeat, is a unique event, and the complexity of the problem suggests that something is likely to slip through the cracks. But as I mentioned earlier, the probability of a cascading of computer failures in mission-critical systems is now negligible, given the testing that has been done, the backup plans that are in place, and the great adaptability and ingenuity of the American worker. Moreover, the evidence of an increasingly compliant computer infrastructure appears to have assuaged at least some of the public's earlier Y2K concerns, according to several recent surveys. And the year-end interest rate premiums, which rose throughout the first half of this year, appear to have receded a bit since early September.

Nonetheless, we have not yet reached the period of extra heavy focus by the media on the CDC. It is too compelling a story for audiences that thrive on countdowns to the unknown. As attention heightens and rumors inevitably mushroom, it is important that what is known and what is not known be clearly articulated by those of us in both public and private leadership positions in Y2K management. In the final analysis, facts are the only antidote for rumors.

We at the Federal Reserve are optimistic that computer problems associated with the Century Date Change and the response to the CDC will not be a major event for our nation. This is a testament to the extraordinary efforts of thousands of far-sighted technicians and business planners who, confronted with an intangible and abstract problem, have been able to convince businesses and governments to marshal vast resources for remedial actions. This has been a truly impressive feat. If we avoid fear-induced, significant economic responses in the months ahead, the Century Date Change will hopefully replicate the saga of "the dog that did not bark."
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-- Linkmeister (link@librarian.edu), September 17, 1999 [Thanks, Linkmeister!]
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-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), September 17, 1999.

you sho-nuf, broke that down for us.*and satan is an ANGEL of light* to those that love lies.

-- TEE-HEE. (dogs@zianet.com), September 17, 1999.

Y'all did one hell of a decent translation there. Either y'all ever work for the U.N.? (lol)

-- Billy-Boy (Rakkasn@Yahoo.com), September 17, 1999.

A&L: That was hilarious -- AND ACCURATE!!! Gawd, every example that he gave of how previous disasters were overcome clearly showed how it was only because they were isolated and contained, so outside help was there! That sure won't be the case with Y2K!!

By the way, does Leska mudwrestle?

-- King of Spain (madrid@aol.com), September 17, 1999.

A&L, I loved it!!!!

You'll love this little bit of news I heard this morning. Apparently THE field to move into now (if one decides making a career change is necessary) is PR. PR is THE fastest growing field with VPs earning on average over $300,000 per year! The gist is that organizations feel it has become more and more necessary to control public perception. Uh...can you say, "propaganda"?

Maybe we can start an "AntiSpin" Agency : ) You two have got THE KNACK!

Mike

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-- Michael Taylor (mtdesign3@aol.com), September 17, 1999.

A&L:

As I suggested on the first posting of this, you have a gift.

-- Dave (aaa@aaa.com), September 17, 1999.

A&L:

Hysterical, sad but funny!

Didn't you all notice he mentioned "Will Continue" in his very first paragraph? ;-)

Mike: I definately chose the wrong profession...groan!

-- mar (derigueur2@aol.com), September 17, 1999.

ha ha ha! yes, it's really fun, but we're on a job for a Dr. who won't let us connect! aaaaaiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeee! We have to *beg* for 3 minutes. *sob*

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), September 17, 1999.

OK, another chance to connect. We're going to try to connect a second phone line to this house, but it's really old. Have to go find some instructions.

When we read Koskinen's ... oops, sorry -- Greenspan's speech, we were actually horrified. It seems peppered with clues indicating a dire situation coming all too soon. Our minds did that translation in tandem as we read. We thought it was audacious how thinly veiled Greenspun actually spoke.

More and more it seems those in the know drop a little trail of hints so the Darwinian fortified will make use of the info, get prepared, and survive.

Robert Cook's answer on the Greenspan Discusses Y2K Impact thread really resonates with us.

$ 300,000 ??? Sounds enticing! But, we're aiming for permanent entry into heaven, and we are very careful to not lie, or harm others, 'n all that good stuff, so we'd be lousy at the PR spin machine. Fastest growing field, eh? Maybe that too will be dumped along with the other nonessential debris very soon now.

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), September 17, 1999.

Good one Ashton & Leska!

Diane

(Oh No! Forced to disconnect! Truly sad).

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), September 17, 1999.

Two too funny. Subversive. Truly idiosyncratic.

-- Spidey (in@jam.calm), September 17, 1999.

It would be funny if it weren't so serious. This shit is going to hit some people really hard and ruin their lives forever.

Lemme see if i have this straight. As of thursday the dollar was under an unholy assault by the Yen perpetuated by capital flight away from our bubble, the market dipped heavily yesterday before righting itself, today was triple witch, and all of a sudden Greenscum comes on TV and McDonough (remember Mr. "the Yen doesn't matter to the US economy"?) strikes a deal with Yamaguchi and the Japs to stave off a currency crisis. Meantime the Greenscum gets on TV and tells the world that the US corporate world is unbelievably well prepared for this problem.

Fleckenstein had a good article on this at his new site www.Siliconinvestor.com..... For educational and research purposes only:

The powers that be decided that last night would be a good time to intervene on behalf of the dollar vs. the yen. There was lots of talk about the meeting between the BOJ's Yamaguchi and the Fed's McDonough. So we had a big rally in the yen vs. the dollar overnight, and that helped the bonds.

Fed leak lifts markets... Then there was word from the Fed's favorite source of leaks, John Berry of the Washington Post. Berry wrote an article that said "with inflation at its lowest in 33 years and world financial markets uneasy about possible year-end computer glitches, Federal Reserve policy makers appear likely to leave interest rates unchanged when they meet early next month. Since last month's meeting, a number of Fed officials have indicated both publicly and privately that they are comfortable in such a neutral position."

So there you have it. The markets seized on the fact that we might not get another rate hike. I'm not going to even comment on the ridiculous nonsense of inflation being the lowest in 33 years, because that is pure, unadulterated crap.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Although Fleck doesn't yet get it about Y2K, he does a good job of summarizing the games that are afoot here. This stuff is designed to do only one thing, keep the record playing until it's to late for J.Q.Public.com to get his money out of Bubble.com. Folks even if Y2K weren't a concern, we'd be teetering like the tower of Pizza at this point. With Y2K thrown in to the mix and all the lies and bullshit comming out of washington and the fed, you'd have to be blind not to see the crisis comming. Look out people, you're gonna get whipsawed by this market, and hard.

-- Gordon (g_gecko_69@hotmail.com), September 17, 1999.

WOW! Awesome A & L! It's as though you've tapped a direct line into Greenhead's subconcious thoughts. It hits so close to the truth that I couldn't help laughing. You are definitely reading the brainwaves of his sqeamish little cerebrum. You must be psychic. Any time you pick up vibes this strong and accurate, from anyone, please share them with us again! I've never read any reverse speech from David Oates, but now you've got me wondering if he might get a similar translation.

-- @ (@@@.@), September 17, 1999.

Ashton & Leska: I don't know whether to laugh or cry :) Thanks!

Terrific interpretation of FedSpeak!. How can anyone think you are not connected! Glad I know about that since I have been worried about both of you missing the FRL's latest threads! Stop by and visit, when you have more time - say, uh, four minutes instead of the usual three. We miss you over there!

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@com.net), September 17, 1999.

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

Ashton & Leska, you just made it onto the Sightings web site at

www.sightings.com

-- Andy (2000EOD@prodigy.net), September 17, 1999.

I have been a lurker, sometime poster on this forum since November 1998 when I GI!

This is by far and away, one of, if not, the best posts I have ever read. LOL till my sides hurt. Absolutely fantastic. Also sad, but true.

From now on, notice the little things.

-- MarktheFart (quke@ix.netcom.com), September 17, 1999.

Cool Andy!

You tight with the Jeffmeister? Yeah when I read this it sounded like A&L could probably make a living writing books (if they aren't already). Definitely worthy of being published!

Two Enthusiastic Thumbs Up! (Dead Siskel and Ebert)

-- @ (@@@.@), September 17, 1999.

Yep, me 'n Jeff have corresponded - great guy!

-- Andy (2000EOD@prodigy.net), September 17, 1999.

Pretty slick website! Is it possible to get his show over the Internet? I don't get it on radio here and getting tired of Art Bell, especially when the old fart Hilly is on.

-- @ (@@@.@), September 17, 1999.

Yep - the archives are a real treasure - download realaudio for free - enjoy.

-- Andy (2000EOD@prodigy.net), September 17, 1999.

Never mind - I just found it right in front of my face. Not sure what time he starts though - guess I'll find out soon.

-- @ (@@@.@), September 17, 1999.

Ashton & Leska,

As is now apparent, you two have been holding out on us!

Your "translation" of Greenspan's speech from "new-double-government-speak" into understandable English is brilliant!

Now that you've "let the cat out of the bag", we'll all expect to see more of this excellent work from you!

-- Hardliner (searcher@internet.com), September 18, 1999.

Right on Hardliner!

I've posted it on several other forums on the net - next step, the man himself, DRUDGE!

-- Andy (2000EOD@prodigy.net), September 18, 1999.

Brilliant! Roleigh has posted the link to his listserv.

-- Lane Core Jr. (elcore@sgi.net), September 18, 1999.

Oh dear. Does this mean we can't bebop thru threads and goof around with one-liners? Hardliner, you're a hard taskmaster ;^)

Yesterday, natch, was the day our patient decided the telephone line was sacrosanct and to be pristinely unused unless perchance someone happened to dial. Aarrrggghhh! Sorry to not be able to respond to y'all! We were climbing the walls. Remember, we're almost always working in somebody else's home 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, ad infinitum. This job isn't hospice -- it's a surgery recovery job for a Dr. & his wife, both 85. Very nice people! It's a pleasure. Cooking job, really; was supposed to be 2 weeks but they love our sumptuous cooking so are trying to prolong the pampering :-)
We're really having fun cooking because, with our hospice patients, appetite is usually nil and the meal prep is mostly blender smoothies.

This house is ancient and we already had to run to Radio Shack and rig up a jerry-gizmo to hook a long phone extension cord up to the @ 1900 (heheh) wiring.

So don't expect too many long translations from us! We're exhausted zombies most of the time; our patients keep us busy all day and all night. We're lucky if we can concentrate enough to click through all the threads!

But yesterday when we skimmed Greedspin's (credit Ashton ;) fluster-bluster about Y2K, we decided to get behind the stench-reeking prop-a-gander and expose the 'hints' whispering non too benignly underneath his zzzzzzzzzz gloss.

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), September 18, 1999.

Greenspan Discusses Y2k Impact

Dave, thanks, we love to write. Just don't have time! But in the last year we must have written at least 100+ pages on this Forum ;^)

Dr. William J. Schenker, thanks! An honor to share cyberspace with you. We've eMailed your Y2K Web Page to lotsa bewildered folks, to help them see the medical implications. Glad you're hamming it up too ;^) Ham radio will save the day, weeks, months, years ...
If w'all are reality-warped by schizo-memes, w'all'll be all too overjoyed to join the Crow PotLuck over at Uncle Deedah's. Followed by Yourdynamite chicken dance through the Polly Guantlet. Why does this not seem probable?

BigDog, :-)

Brady, hi, who are you? Wow, " ... Wall Street has a way of creating and enforcing 'group think' among the blue-suited phalanxes. It's amazing to see it in action. Rogue thinkers are dealt with, unless they are making a lot of money, in which case the rogue thinking becomes the new paradigm ..."

Sounds like an insider description of meme-birthing. On ... *gasp* ... Wall Street! Surely those bold dollar pinknockles are not susceptible to peer pressure and group brainwashing! Oh the horrors. How do they "deal with" rogue thinkers? Do the Y2Kerize them? Snicker-wick them into whacko marginalization shame?

So widespread ... what is the world coming to ... oops, we have an idea about that ;^)

ssshhhhhhhhhh, don't rock the boat, it's listing, taking on water, bailers are running out of pails, ssssshhhhhhhhh, the spin has put counter-vertigo on the hapless passengers so they won't notice, but the Pyramid Titanic is sinking ... sssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhh

Al-D, thanks, yeah Satan must be having a field day about this time, cackling so much he must be hoarse. He's rubbing his warty claws together so fast in fevered glee it adds to the heat. You pray for us, Al-D -- we're aiming for a one-way ticket to heaven.

Billy-Boy, thanks, no UN work, but our daily jobs demand certain tact and negotiation (Ashton's province!). Our bosses have to think they're the boss but actually we have to be in control. Sticky ya know, their life, their house, their health, etc. But we have genuine honor for their dignity, so it is fine ... we just get punchy due to no sleep!

King of Spain, oo, Leska is swooning at the invitation! ;^)
Yep, we had exact same reaction. BTW, KoS, kudos to you for immensely entertaining troll busting. Keep it up!

Michael, get back to us with your agent ;^) By late yesterday we were frustrated enough to be converted to the Dark Side lol

mar, thanks, we *did* notice the Will Continue right off. Where the heck is she ????? We want her spin-top on this blabber!

Diane, thanks, yep today we'll muster the energy to circumvent the no-connect demon ...

Spidey, your comments are valuable to us. Post more! Love your posts!

Gordon, it is nightmarishly serious, terrible, but we're gonna die laughing, probably pretty soon now, and everything seems so surreal and weird, and we're exhaustion-drunk punchy, rocked by constant giggle fits.

@, thanks, we wouldn't be surprised if we were tapping into the subconscious -- we may be flim-floating there a large percentage of the time! A new kind of channeling ... Doomer spin-meld, coming soon to a thread near you ;^)

Rob, great Chieftain, we remiss FRLians beg leaves of blushing apologies! We are constrained by phone-hoarding employers. This job will be over soon and we will be back! BBWWAAHAHAHAHAHA

Andy, thanks 100 times over, we *can't believe it!* Guess it's time to become radio literate. We try not to have any sounds that might distract us from our patients' cues, but we'll just have them listen with us ;^)

Mark the Fart, such a surprise to see you here! We're used to reading you over at csy2k. Thanks! We even thought it was you on one of the Tuesday night chats -- managed to embarrass ourselves royally flush. The little things leap out and bite us.

@, Ashton & Leska have long fantasized about writing books together. Ashton is an incredibly good artist! He wants to do nothing but draw mystical mythical pictures of higher-ages scenes, castles, saints, heavenly pastures. Instead he sculpt-wipes patients' behinds. Ah, the mysteries of life. But you see, hopefully our long life of service-penance will ensure we never return to this vale of insane tears. But we *do* plan on writing a few books! Ashton is 300 pages into a hum-dinger now! It's just a matter of not enough time.

Hardliner, we feel your whip ;^)

Lane, thanks! We savor your articles. We imbibe all the Y2K community's thoughts with great interest and grateful comradery. This is the best of times leading to the worst of times ... more schizm.zoid pendulums rock-pinging us between the sways and loops, lulling and lurching, propelling toward January.

We're all in this together!

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), September 18, 1999.

A very special thanks to Paula Gordon, the truth-warrior who has the steadfast guts and bravery to ride before the smirking press and calmly speak the truth. Paula, you have a high place of esteemed honor surrounded by our deep gratitude and prayer-blessings. Blaze on in your understated way, flaring glimmers of flame peril forewarnings under the glare of TV spotlights. Keep on!

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), September 18, 1999.

Now, we're really behind, can somebody link Ed Yourdon's comments on Greedspin's little Y2K smeach? We're looking forward to his critique!

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), September 18, 1999.

greenspan was very careful and very crafty with his most recent statements. peruse the following:

"As a consequence of our current dependence on computers, some Y2K-related failures could have noticeable effects on the economy," Greenspan said Friday. However, the Fed chief added that "the probability of a cascading of computer failures in mission-critical systems is now negligible."

"The potentially most important piece in the Y2K puzzle for the rest of the year is the uncertain response of the American consumer as the year-end approaches," he said. "I trust that such withdrawals will be modest since, as I have said before, the safest thing for consumers to do with their money around year-end is to leave it where it is," he said.

the cascading failures that Greenspan refers to would fall somewhere between an 8 and a 10 in my estimation. the real story here is that if one reads between the lines i think Greenspan is saying that anything is possible just short of a complete meltdown. if the average dolt does not find this alarming then so

-- corrine l (corrine@iwaynet.net), September 18, 1999.

Ashton & Leska,

Ed quick responds here...

Greenspan Discusses Y2k Impact

http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 001Q8K

Looks like hes working on a Greenspan/spun response. Not on this web-site... yet...

http://www.yourdon.com/

Or over at the HumptyDumpty Y2K Forum...

http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a.tcl?topic= HumptyDumptyY2K

Diane

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), September 18, 1999.

What, no pollies retort to this brilliant translation of Greenspeak!?

Brilliant, audacious and, very very troubling. Laughing through the tears of compassion for the unconscionable suffering soon to be wrought on all of us, even those of us who think we are "prepared".

I look forward to the dreams that come once we have shuffled off this mortal coil.

thanks Ashton and Leska!

-g

-- greg (walshbros1@aol.com), September 18, 1999.

What dreams may come! We're having them now, wonderful! And it's only going to get better and better, throughout Eternity. Long-term preparation, the best investment ;^)
Thanks, Greg

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), September 19, 1999.

To Ed, thanks for your new essay, linked at:

An Open Letter to Alan Greenspan

To Dancr, thanks for your comments at:

Greenspan Discusses Y2k Impact

We've had several ppl eMail us that the format you posted is easier to read and follow for comparison's sake :-)

Like your idea of Greedspin instructing the banks to make their "Down for Routine Maintenance" signs now. Gotta get a mole to shuffle us *that* memo!

Also struck by choice of "CDC" which keeps cracking us up. Could write a whole spoof on that analogy. Especially with all those disinfect, contain, isolate words. Hhhmmmm.

Obviously the .gov .system Talking Heads are secretly propelled by fear of Y2K Cooties.

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), September 19, 1999.

From: Y2K, ` la Carte by Dancr near Monterey, California

Ashton & Leska: You're certainly welcome. I had to reformat it for my own reading, in order to fully appreciate what you had done. It made sense to share your work. For those who haven't seen, we're talking about a paragraph-by-paragraph interweaving of A&L commentary with Alan Greenspan's speech. This link will take you directly to it, midway down the thread. I moved it over to there because I had seen elsewhere where Dianne had asked for all commentary to appear there.

-- Dancr (addy.available@my.webpage), September 19, 1999.

Thanks, Dancr -- there are so many Greenspan threads spanning so much spinning it's hard to keep track. He & 2 others were featured some time ago on a magazine cover, something about Market Magic, always think "leprechaun." Or lepercon. Whenever so many people hang on one person's every word, such oracle dangling gives us imp inclinations. Who will end up being the real InfoMagic?

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), September 19, 1999.

Good grief, Gary North linked our parsnips to his commentary, saying "For a parallel but somewhat more cynical analysis than mine of his speech, click here."

AAAHHHH BBWWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !!!

If that isn't the Ultimate Doomer Crown Of Thorns -- to be deemed by Gary North to be more cynical than him re Y2K -- oh delicious irony. His sense of humor must be flagging these days.

Thought he'd Link our parsnips as a stand-alone with a wink and tongue-in-cheek. Sigh. Although it *really* IS what Greedspin is saying ...

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), September 20, 1999.