Y2K Jelly MillenniLube Body Lotion Relieves Millennial Angst

greenspun.com : LUSENET : TimeBomb 2000 (Y2000) : One Thread

Now I've seen it all. I shall never question the snake-oil posts again! Link <:)=

SAN FRANCISCO--(BUSINESS WIRE FEATURES)--The year 2000 is coming soon, and with it, fears of computer crashes, plane crashes and stock market crashes.

"Why let Y2K phobia get you down, when you can glide with ease into the new millennium?" says Jonathan Gavzer, San Francisco acupuncturist-masseur-entrepreneur and creator of Y2K Jelly MillenniLube, the simple -- and sensual -- solution to turn-of-the-century torment.

"A lot of my friends and patients were telling me about their Y2K worries," says Gavzer. "So I thought I'd create the ideal 1999 stocking stuffer -- a healthy body lotion with herbal and floral ingredients known for their calming qualities."

Today Gavzer's company, Jonny Loves You, is introducing Y2K Jelly MillenniLube -- the unction for the millennial junction. The 2-oz. tube ($5.99) will be sold at www.millennilube.com and at 877/Y2K-Jelly (877/925-5355).

Browsers of the Web site will find plenty of "millenn-tertainment":

-- "Y2K Mania" section with way-out solutions being proposed to survive the Y2K problem (like the guy who's equipped his house with attack dogs, a solar array system and a ton of bibles).

-- "Lube a Friend" link offering a choice of personal sentiments (e.g., "I've Got that Y2K Feeling," "Lube Me Two Times, Baby," "Need a Lube Job?") to accompany a personally penned note that will be e-mailed to the chosen "lubee."

-- Testimonials from lubed ones.

MillenniLube is an aromatic blend of extracts of calendula, chamomile, comfrey (soothing emollients) and St. John's Wort (for emotional balance), and the essences of aspen (for anxiety), rock rose (for inner peace) and walnut (for healthy transitions). "Everything around us gives off vibrations," says Gavzer. "These herbal and floral essences work on a vibrational level to provide energetic harmony. I recommend rubbing MillenniLube on the body's energy centers, such as the belly, heart and forehead."

"Maybe these millennial fears are good in a way," muses Gavzer. "They're making us step back and look at our dependency on technology and our loss of connection to people and the environment around us. Using Y2K Jelly MillenniLube is one way people can forget about their techno-worries and simply enjoy a few calming, sweet-smelling moments."

Gavzer, 39, has been in private practice in acupuncture, herbs and bodywork since 1984.

Please see photographs at www.millennilube.com.

-- Sysman (y2kboard@yahoo.com), September 15, 1999

Answers

Good Grief!

-- Sharon (sking@drought-ridden.com), September 15, 1999.

Yes, and since KY jelly is Y2K compliant, some wag wants to call it Y2KY Jelly. The punch line doesn't work on a family forum but involves dates and 4 digits, insertions, etc. Fill in the blanks yourself. If you CAN'T fill em in, my e-mail works.

Chuck

-- Chuck, a night driver (rienzoo@en.com), September 16, 1999.


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