Your Favourite Joke : LUSENET : I Wasn't Built to Get Up at this Time : One Thread

What's your favourite joke? I'll share some of mine with you some day when I can't think of anything to write, but until then:

An Englishman, and Irishman a Scotsman, a black, a white, a Hispanic, a red-neck, a blond, a brunette, a redhead, a lawyer, a priest, a rabbi and an elephant all walk into a bar, and the bar tender gives them a weird look and goes "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

-- Tim (, September 05, 1999


Q: Why does the little mermaid wear c-shells?

A: Because b-shells are too small and d-shells are too big.

That joke gets me every time. It's kind of a female joke, though.

-- Jessica (, September 12, 1999.

This is a pretty famous one...

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are going camping. They pitch their tent under the starts and go to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night, Holmes wakes Watson up: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce." Watson says, "I see millions of stars and even if a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth, and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." Holmes replied: "Watson, you idiot, somebody stole our tent."

-- Andrew Carter (, November 23, 2002.

A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police. "What are these matches and lighter fluid doing in your car?" asks the cop. "I'm a juggler and I juggle flaming torches in my act." "Oh yeah?" says the doubtful cop. "Lets see you do it." The juggler gets out and starts juggling the blazing torches masterfully. A couple driving by slows down to watch. "Wow," says the driver to his wife. "I'm glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they're giving now!

-- Andrew Carter (, November 23, 2002.

A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks "Doc, how do I stand?" The doctor says "That's what puzzles me!"

-- Andrew Carter (, November 23, 2002.

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