Worry.

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Hi gang, It's been a heck of a week here in the land of the "maize & blue." As sometimes happens in life, the unexpected landed on my doorstep a week ago and brought company, like a regiment of dandelions elevating their little heads two days after a "Roundup" application. In short--it's been one unexpected thing after another. I couldn't have planned for any of them. Neither could you. They just hit. Without going into detail, any sane person would have been concerned, and coping strategies would have been put to the test. Because I am a journalist [and because I was worried], one day in the midst of the chaos, I decided to do a search on Amazon.com, using the subject line: worry. (What the heck.) What I found was a "nugget." A truly remarkable book, that I recommend to anyone worried about anything. (Of course that includes so-called "Pollies," "Doomers" and anyone in between because, you know what? Life really DOES have a tendency to happen when you're making other plans.) Its title? "Worry." Author: Dr. Edward M. Hallowell from Harvard. A link to his bio:

About Dr. Hallowell

Those of you who know my postings will understand that I am "Just passing this on," as I have done with other items I have discovered in the past. I won't earn a penny by recommending this book to you, but I strongly recommend it. (Maybe I'll earn a few pennies this Fall with my own book. God willing you may actually be able to purchase it, should you choose to do so. I already have an ISBN number, so that qualifies me to sell it on Amazon.com--hopefully beginning in October.) Anyway, I hope this post may be helpful to all of you in one small form or another. And for those of you who are interested further, as I understand it, Dr. Hallowell will be appearing on the "Today Show" on September 8th. God bless. [As usual} :)

-- FM (vidprof@aol.com), September 03, 1999

Answers

Pardon the formatting.

Sure looked better when I hit the "submit" button!

:)

-- FM (vidprof@aol.com), September 03, 1999.


Another P.S. to the above posting.

I didn't post it as "OT," to Y2k, because it isn't.

Apparently, (according to the author) people who have been traumatized by one or more significant events in their lives have a significant capacity to worry more than those who haven't.

That doesn't mean everyone who has ever been "done wrong," subsequently worries more about EVERYTHING--forever after, but this apparently very credible M.D. makes the case that depending upon your genetic or environmental "wiring" (as in what you inherited or what you grew up with) some folks just worry more than others after they have been "done wrong."

The book also contains a self-test, along with 50 tips for the management of worry. I read some very credible reviews before I purchased the book, and I found those reviews to be one of the most compelling reasons to buy it.

I have a dear, sweet relative (part of the fun this past week,) who was traumatized by blatant medical malpractice 10 years ago, and since then, she's been "stuck there." The players have gone away, but the fears have been transferred to other agendas. She needs some help, and I do not mean that in a patronizing manner. She is highly intelligent, and among the best people I've ever known. I'm trying to help as best I can, and this book--along with a good friend who is a psychologist--may have opened up some brand new avenues to assist in that process.

Bottom line behind my posting this to this forum is this:

Whatever happens gang, we're in the "end-game" here.

What surely matters is how any of us will cope with what may be beyond our control.

Might Y2k be a positive learning experience?

I sure as heck hope so.

As always, just passin' it on.

(To thundering silence, so far, as in; Oh no! What did I do?!?!?)

[Grin.]

:)

-- FM (vidprof@aol.com), September 03, 1999.


Uh,. . .

Anybody out there?

:)

-- FM (vidprof@aol.com), September 04, 1999.


Thank you for this post. I am about to worry myself to the point of illness. I feel I have to worry because noone else seems to be as worried as I think they should be. I will read this book and let you know if it helps.

-- Carol (glear@usa.net), September 04, 1999.

Carol,

It WILL help.

Call your local bookstore in the morning.

Ask for ISBN number 0-345-42458-1

If your local bookstore doesn't have it, call Dr. Hallowell's office. They are very nice people.

You can get the phone number by clicking on the above link.

God bless, as usual.

:)

-- FM (vidprof@aol.com), September 04, 1999.



Looks interesting, FM. Thanks!

Here's a link to it at Amazon.com:

Worry : Controlling It and Using It Wisely by Edward M. Hallowell

-- Jim Morris (prism@bevcomm.net), September 04, 1999.


FM:

We're here [G].

I learned (mostly) to give up fretting and worrying a number of years ago. Planning and prepping (not just for this latest insanity) have mostly taken their place.

Do the best you can, make your plans, and remember that "No battle plan survives contact with the enemy".

-- Jon Williamson (pssomerville@sprintmail.com), September 04, 1999.


And--for newbies--or oldies who wish to inquire further about this:

My email address is real, and always has been.

You who have followed my postings over the past few months also know that I subscribe to the journalists credo of "off the record."

I'm not setting myself up to be the "Ann Landers of Y2k worry," but if you have any questions with regard to this book or how to obtain it, I will be happy to help.

(This of course means I have to invest in the time to "Unsubscribe" to Cory's list 'cause I'm getting everything and EVERYTHING these days!)

Paging Cory?

[Grin]

Yours from the realm of the "mailing list challenged,"

:)

-- FM (vidprof@aol.com), September 04, 1999.


Jim and Jon,

Good job.

Thanks for the rescue!

God bless,

:)

-- FM (vidprof@aol.com), September 04, 1999.


Hi FM, I come from a long line of worriers. I admit that I spend part of my daily routine in worry about what may happen at rollover. I also think that I tend to worry more, since I see most folks who are not making any preps, or learning any new skills, and this stresses me. I found taking inventory of my preps, and then making SOME daily progress (shopping for more stuff I still don't have, or canning or packaging grains, or even baking bread) helps calm the worries.

Thanks for a good post that was fun to read, as well as the info. on the book. I will check it out.....

-- (nobody@nowhere.com), September 04, 1999.



Gosh, I feel I need to add one more item about this subject:

(I surely wish someone were paying me to do so! Not!)

Dr. Hallowell apparently is a specialist in attention deficit disorder (commonly referred to now as A.D.D.), which is apparently a condition also associated with excessive worry.

Since school is starting, I would suspect (this is my cynical journalistic "twin" speaking) that the subject of the "Today Show" interview will be about A.D.D.

However, one of the other items Hallowell writes about is the importance of being "connected" when dealing with worry.

One of the proverbs he learned along the way was, "Never worry alone."

Is that why this forum is a good thing, despite the off-topic posts and the "doomer-polly wars?"

Hmmmm. . .?

[grin]

:)

-- FM (vidprof@aol.com), September 04, 1999.


Nobody,

You are certainly not alone.

One of the most fascinating tidbits I learned from this book was about Samuel Johnson (who was probably a distant relative, according to my deceased mother, God rest her soul. If so, ACK! Might my family be partially doomed by genetics? ACK! Oh my, the things one learns on the road to learning other things. . .) [Grin]

Chapter 18 of this book is entitled "The Example of Samuel Johnson."

An excerpt:

"He was one of the great geniuses in the history of English literature, a dominating figure in the eighteenth century, author of the first dictionary of the English language, essayist, critic, moralist, and psychologist. But he was also one of the greatest worriers we have on record. His struggle to contend with worry, what he called his "disease of the imagination," still comforts, surprises and inspires all who know of it."

(Sound like many folks we know?)

:)

-- FM (vidprof@aol.com), September 04, 1999.


Are worry and dread the same, or is dread a form/subset of worrying? Not that I'm worried about it...just curious :-)

Y2k has definitely given me a new perspective on things, especially when it comes to worrying over matters. Many of the things I used to worry about now seem trivial compared to what may be at hand. It's easy to become worried to the point where one can reach a state of paralysis. Yet, if you don't worry at all, you may get blind-sided so to speak. The trick is to keep a level of concern where you don't let these concerns consume you.

Something to worry, er, think about...

-- Tim (pixmo@pixelquest.com), September 04, 1999.


Tim,

In one of the interviews I read with Dr. Hallowell, he indicated (I'm not quoting here--just paraphrasing) that worry is important. It's healthy.

However, there are two extremes (and of course many shades of gray in between): People who don't worry at all (and they should worry more than they do) and people who worry to the point of it becoming "toxic" worry.

Now, is somebody gonna jump in on this thread and categorize the "doomers" as the "toxic worriers" and the "pollys" as the "ones who should worry more?"

Maybe, maybe not.

But if the phrase "toxic" shows up in the days ahead to describe the "doomers," well. . . did you hear it here first?

[Grin]

:)

-- FM (vidprof@aol.com), September 04, 1999.


Headin' off to bed guys.

Hope this helped in some small way.

(So-called "Pollys" and "Doomers" alike, because--to repeat--you know what John Lennon said about "Life happening when you're making other plans.")

(I'm pretty certain it was John Lennon. Someone will, no doubt, correct me if I'm wrong. I don't mind a bit.)

:)

-- FM (vidprof@aol.com), September 04, 1999.



This is an interesting topic. Worry would be an aspect of stress which in reasonable amounts is healthy and some strive on it. Worry and stress would differ only by the amount the individual is in control of the situation. Less control over a problem, the more worry because it is out of our hands.

Dread on the other hand is waiting for an impending event, where you know it is going to happen but the scale is in doubt. This would differ with worry because you know the event is going to happen. Y2K would fit this mode.

Healthy stress to me is when you are "in control" of a situation that is occuring at the present time. Playing sports would come to mind.

Worry would be like waiting for your daughter to come home.

Dread would be like worring about Y2K.

Consern would be seeing a problem but there are experianced folk to deal with it. (like a sick family member and a good doctor).

Panic would be having no view of the final outcome.

Life would be accepting what you have no choice in choosing.

Just because a person has had a "hard" life doesn't mean they will be "emotional" about Y2K. They may be able to handle the change where as folk that never change will be in a panic.

When getting down to an individual level, worry is very simplistic. There are a variety of challanges and lumping them in a word is distructive. Actually dealing with stress and what not is part of growing up. It is a matter of priorities and that is suspect if one looks at the conserns of most folk. JIT has affected more than just economics.

-- Brian (imager@home.com), September 04, 1999.


Hi FM,

You sound like a woman after my own heart. When in doubt (or worry) buy a book!!!! Thanks for the heads up. Looks like a great resource. IMO only people with a vivid imagination have the real capacity to worry. Its a sure sign of an inventive mind - and often a useful survival skill. It can also drive you crazy.;-)

-- R (riversoma@aol.com), September 04, 1999.


FM,

When I get to imagining how bad anything can turn out, I hear my Mother's words "Nothing is so bad that it couldn't get worse!". These words used to infuriate me when I was growing up, but after seeing that things rarely developed in the way I'd feared, now they give me a wry smile. Once I can imagine the worst, I can mentally work back from there without the sense of dread.

Your use of Round Up on the dandelions is what inspired me to post a response. Pick up a book about edible plants, and you will look at those dandelions in a new light. I think Ole Git posted a delightful thread about them on this forum ages ago. This is another 'thinking box' that is beckoning you to 'pass over to the otherside'.

-- flora (***@__._), September 04, 1999.


LOL, Flora!

Your mom sounds like a piece of work.

Actually, I'm growing Italian dandelions in a container garden. Combine them with olive oil, garlic and onions and it's quite a treat.

:)

-- FM (vidprof@aol.com), September 04, 1999.


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