If your an only child, would you prefer to have siblings, and visa-versa?

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I'm undecided over this matter, but what about you. If your an only child, would you prefer to have siblings, and if you have brothers/sisters, would you rather be an only child?

-- Tim Partridge (tim@newmail.net), August 21, 1999


At risk of Noj reading this, I am unable to say "I wish I was an only child so much that I'm plotting the murder of Noj and Alex as I type" or "I love Noj and Alex dearly and intend to marry them as soon as I turn into a marigold bush." However, I did manage to type it. So Haaaaa.

-- DoctorZed The Hempfiend (zobocop@warnes.demon.co.uk), August 21, 1999.

I have a younger brother (5 years younger) and there was never, never, never a moment where I wished I were an only child. I absolutely adore my brother, and I always have and I always will! We were and are very good friends. We played Legos together, rode bikes together, he let me dress him up and paint his nails... I would never trade my sibling situation!

-- stasi (stasi@jps.net), August 21, 1999.

I have 2 older brothers who I have learned so much for and that have always been an ali for me against my parents or whatever, I've never wanted to trade them in or be an only child. Live in friends is what they are.

-- Wendie J (wendie7@usa.net), August 21, 1999.

I have a sibling one year younger and I may as well be an only child...as we have nothing in common, except allying against our parent. I think the perfect siblings would be four or five years apart, when you can actually feel like an older sibling, with a younger one to look up to you. Don't have your kids one year apart...

Commixion @ www.gbdesigns.com/commixion

-- Greg Barber (gbarber@gbdesigns.com), August 24, 1999.

After spending this week with my siblings at Camp, I realize that there's no way I would rather be an only child. I'm the youngest, having two sisters and a brother, and we get along surprisingly well. True, me and my sisters fight rather more than we should, and I hate that, but there are times when we have tons of fun together. My family is a big part of my life, and when we go out together, we end up spending the whole night together, without really talking to other people, which my dad doesn't like. I could never live without them! That's not true... I'll have to live without them this year...

-- Sarah Joy (bursa@cgocable.net), August 26, 1999.

I am an only child. There are times when i feel a brother or sister would be nice. But i feel that due to me being an only child i do not have to share any of my personal possesions. I like being an only child. Due to if i had siblings in sports at the same time i am. my parents couldn't make it to both of our sport. I guess there is the image that only children are self centered brats. I would rather have both of my parents at my sport to watchme because it makes me feel better. Maybe only children are spoiled rotten, self centered, brats. I feel if that is the way others look at it though that is their opinion. I am only 16 years old and i feel that an only child is the way to be. But then again it is just my opinion.

-- Eric Brant (ericbrant@hotmail.com), November 26, 2000.

I am an only child and I would give up just about anything to have a sibling and I can't remember a time I didn't think that. My mom and dad both come from huge familys and I hate thinking my kids won't have any aunts and uncles on my side. I am incredilbly jealous when I see "sisterly love" things and I always wonder what "the sibling bond" is like. My children will NEVER be only children....

-- Christina (WickedGarden0@aol.com), May 01, 2001.

Why do people react so negatively to onlies? My mom and I were both onlies and my son is an only. I did wish for siblings when I was younger, but I'm so over that! I have a unique bond with my parents, as my mom did with hers. I chose to have an only, to give him the best of everything we could offer. There is nothing wrong with only children. I wish other people could see that, and stop reacting so negatively to it. And lastly, please don't ask if other people are planning to have other children, unless you're prepared to greet "no" with a smile. Thanks! Lynne

-- Lynne (info@avertical.com), May 22, 2001.

I have just one sister and I wouldn't trade that relationship for anything ..for who is there to share your memories about your childhood days, and when I am hurt or sad there is no other face I would rather see.....I love you sis!

-- Sandy Moyers (smoyers55@aol.com), June 15, 2001.

what a brilliant page. I am a father of an 'only' and am undecided whether to have another. Would I have been happier without my older brother? Possibly. Getting drowned in the bath or having your nuts squeezed whilst being told to whistle aren't exactly my idea of brotherly love. But then he did defend me against allcomers. As a 4 stone (56 pounds to our Atlantic friends) weakling this did prove useful. So, do I have another child knowing that they may be tormented beyond belief leading to endless stress on my part? Or do I keep my darling 'only' knowing that she will end stigmatised and alone when I am lying in my death bed?

-- Graeme Gordon (graemego7@aol.com), June 21, 2001.

I am an only child and have always resented that fact. My parents had a son 8 years before I was born and at age 4 he died in an accident. They only wanted one child and I was born in 1969. I find that I really struggle with relationships/friendships. I don't know how to 'share' friends and I get very jealous. I don't want to feel this way but I do. I'm doing a lot of 'inner work' and it is very painful. I really wouldn't advise anyone to have just one child. I feel that it was very lonely and I was always jealousy of others that had brothers and sisters, even to fight with!

-- T. L. Hall (ultimatehipster@att.net), July 15, 2001.

I am an only child and I have an only child (a boy - 8) When my mother (who was divorced when I was 5) asked me if I wanted sibs I promptly replied "No!" I want a dog. That surprised her but was really how I felt. I grew up in a great neighborhood where there were lots of kids my age to play with. I never felt lonely and never had to share my room or my things. .

I only feel lonely now that both of my parents are gone. Fortunately, I have a wonderful husband who has a great family!

I also believe that I am in a position to give my child the best of everything (material and intangible) including his independence!

-- Michele Kennedy (Michele_Kennedy@newton.mec.edu), July 19, 2001.

For those parents wondering if they should have more than one child, my encouragement to you is an emphatic "YES!". Yes... we've all heard the beliefs that we are spoiled. Agreed, we probably got the lions share of attention when we were young, didn't have to... (learn to...) share our toys, and didn't get beaten up by our older siblings. However, dig deeper. There's a tremendous amount of loneliness that goes with being an only child.. When it's time to come in "after dark", there was no one else to play with/ talk to, on family trips, it was me in the back seat, alone. Sure I had my parents when I was young, but in reality they were not going to entertain me all the time.. The loneliness doesn't end after childhood. I am not married, I have no children (though I would love to have both) and am very lonely. Every single relative has always lived on the East coast I live on the West, so there has never been an "extended" family around. I try and fill the voids with friends, but get reminded frequently, even by my closest friends that blood is thicker than water. I count on these friends to meet my needs and have learned painfully, time and time again, that I come second string, always. From highschool until recently I've spent a great deal of energy trying to build an external family of friends. As of recently, I've consciously pulled back.. I'm burn't out and tired of feeling hurt. Dad's been in heaven since I was 13, and Mom's just retired. When Mom and Dad were going through their divorce, I had no one to cry with or to support. When Mom passes away, once again it will be me to take care of her. Here's the recurring question. Who helps take care of me when I'm in need. When do I come first, like the siblings of my friends? Now this may all sound pathetic and "poor me" like, but again dig a bit deeper. For all of you who have had siblings, if there was ever at least ONE time when they made you feel better, shared a family childhood memory, shared tears behind the bedroom doors when your parents argued, stood up for you to an "enemy", played games at bedtime, sat at a Thanksgiving dinner together (had more than 2-3 people at the table during the holidays), had a sibling put you first before their friends.... Then be very thankful. Trust me... the loneliness never goes away.

-- Laura (wildhorses10@hotmail.com), December 02, 2001.

I think it would have been neat especially emotionally to have been an only child!!!! I am the youngest of 5.... and all are A LOT older than I am ...18 years older, 17 years older, 14 years older and 8 years older. They have ALWAYS resented me and have constantly made my life a living hell by picking on my even to this day!!!! And I am not talking about joking picking... CRUEL picking. Count your blessings only children!!!!

-- Gwen Whitworth (gwyn72143@yahoo.com), January 18, 2003.

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