Y2krud. I just finished a frustrating conversation with my daughter. She has always wanted to get married around Christmas. She is thinking about getting married THIS Christmas. Problem...we lived in southern CA for many years until just recently, and all her friends are there. She wants all her friends to be able to come, but knows many couldn't afford the trip. I don't expect most males to be GI about this, but this just stinks. I told her it is a TERRIBLE time. She knows it, rationally, but who said females are rational? Or the heart for that matter? My concern is getting trapped down there with all the younger children, like Uncle Willie springs a surprise by executing an executive order or what not. Marines instead of bridesmaids and all that. I told her if she went down there and got trapped, that her father would find her or die trying. I just feel particularly tired of it all tonight, so better get to bed or I'll either cuss or cry. I know this wasn't an earthshaking bit of news, but I know there must be many others out there who feel at times more upset than normal. It's not even just the stupid dang computers. It's really not knowing what the stupid dang people are going to do, particularly the people with power. Ah crud.

-- Mumsie (Shezdremn@aol.com), August 14, 1999

Answers

I know how you're feeling, my brother is in Orange County (Costa Mesa/Newport Beach) just south of LA, which is a war zone at the best of times, trusting gubbmint to look after him and his 16 year old daughter. I can't think of a worse place to be quite frankly. FWIW if withdrawl limits and/or bank runs/martial law come in it is likely to be before rollover - THAT should get your daughter's attention. Best of luck whatever happens.

-- Andy (2000EOD@prodigy.net), August 14, 1999.

Mumsie,

Sorry for your sadness at what should be a really happy time. Good luck! And congrats anyway!!!!! :)

-- Kristi (securxsys@cs.com), August 14, 1999.

Hey! I just thought of this. My dad is GI and lives out in the Palm Springs area. He has researched and they look good for backups for water/sewer, etc (even said they have "extra" generators). Lots of great wedding locations, not as densely populated and several interstates to get you out if need be. Not to mention only a couple hours away from LA. And a "destination location" so it won't seem "strange" to her friends. Just a thought!

-- Kristi (securxsys@cs.com), August 14, 1999.

You might focus on the problems your daughter is likely to have with her wedding: all those friends she wants to attend will be in the midst of the busiest part of the year and some may not be able to attend... possible shortages of food and drink needed for the party as people FINALLY start stocking up... very busy time to reserve locations for wedding, dinners, receptions... ever after their anniversary will be sort of lost in all the holiday hubbub (why not have it at a time when it would be SPECIAL)... all those toasters and blenders that might not work in just a few days !!!... when/where would honeymoon be? would it place them at risk on rollover?

Of course I 'spose it could be turned to a positive... if your daughter is a GI. If she was willing to have a Y2K theme (perhaps disguised as a 1900 theme) to any showers.. or perhaps even the wedding.. it could be a great opportunity to get prep stuff for their new life together and to educate their friends. Non-electric wedding... lots of romantic candles. No electric appliances at the wedding shower.. instead camping gear, Aladdin lamps, camp dutch ovens, blankets, gardening tools, seeds, canner and jars... biggie might be a wood cookstove, Baygen radios etc. Would be pretty funny.

And if you have to go, rent a motor home and stock it with enough to bug out if need be.

-- Linda (lwmb@psln.com), August 14, 1999.

FWIW, I agree with Andy. I let my kids dream and make plans for after the roll over and never stick my nose in it. There will be plenty of signs of upcoming events. It's not gonna trip off like a light switch on new years. They know what I think. If it happens I'll be a genius. If it's not so bad, at least I will not have interfered in their lives for nothing. "Maintain Marine"

Bill in South Carolina

-- Bill Solorzano (notaclue@webtv.net), August 14, 1999.

i also have a daughter getting married, on september 18th. she will be getting y2k stuff for the showers and wedding, so it's not too bad. if she had made the date any later than that, i would have MADE her change it.

listen, this is the time to show leadership, not cave in to the kid. especially if she is looking to you for financial backup on this, and also if she expects you to be at the wedding. IMHO, if she is determined to get married at xmas, i have 2 solutions you could offer her. 1 is wait and get married next xmas, in 2000. 2 is for her and fiance to elope, fly to las vegas and get married in a chapel. if that was good enough for cindy crawford and richard gere, it should be good enough for her. or 3, she could chuck the idea and get married now.

i know this--if my daughter had told me she wanted to get married at xmas and i was supposed to fly somwhere at that time for the wedding, i would have said forget it, i am not going to be there, and i won't give you any money or gifts either. period.

-- jocelyne slough (jonslough@tln.net), August 14, 1999.

People are carrying on their lives. They are getting married, born, and dying, regardless of Y2K. I marvel. People who know better are telling me about their school plans, vacations. Sigh. Can they get married at home, have a party next year?

-- Mara Wayne (MaraWAyne@aol.com), August 14, 1999.

Andy....

I am somewhat curious where YOU live. I've been a resident of Newport Beach, CA for over 22 years and quite frankly this may be one of the finest places in the U.S. to reside. Yes, Southern California as a whole certainly has some problems and will not be a great place should we experience serious Y2K scenarios, but then no place will. Keep in mind folks, isolation is a double-edged sword when TSHTF. Mumsie, I predict your Daughter's wedding will turn out just fine.

-- For (your@info.com), August 14, 1999.

Kristi....

Palm Springs has but ONE interstate access (I-10) and is acually quite isolated. If we experience a high level of civil unrest, this is not where you want to be.

-- For (your@info.com), August 14, 1999.

Mumsie,

With a little luck, the places at which she might want to have the reception are already booked. (I do not know what kind of cancellation clauses are common for such events.)

In any case, best of luck, however it goes.

Jerry

-- Jerry B (skeptic76@erols.com), August 14, 1999.

My daughter was planning her wedding and naturally wanted everthing, lots of bridesmaids, out of town guests, fancy party, etc. I had already told her my limit moneywise for a wedding and she was budgeting the amount fairly well. I went and got the exact amount the wedding was going to cost in cash--small bills---and laid it out on the table in front her and her future DH. In less than 5 minutes they decided to forgo the wedding and take the cash. We had a simple ceremony in our house with a nice dinner.

-- Carol (glear@usa.net), August 14, 1999.

I agree with Jocelyn. I would not care how much my child wanted a wedding in December, I would be no part of it. Weddings are the most wasteful and superfluous events on earth. Wanting to be married in December is foolish at best, and irresponsible at worst. My son and daughter-in-law were married by a Justice of the Peace and have stayed happily married long after several of their friends, who put on this ostentatious extravanga, have divorced.

But they have made a worse decision, in my opinion, anyway. They intentionally decided to have a baby, which is due in November. Now if that isn't the height of the ridiculous, I don't know what is. They knew all about Y2K, and still decided to go ahead with this. I think they are irresponsible and selfish, and I've already said, send me a picture, I'm not going to be on the road, or in a plane at the end of November. Oh, and be sure you have plenty of water.

Call me a grouch, but I think waiting six months or a year for either a wedding or a brith makes more since than acting like a fool. I love my child dearly, but I lean towards brains rather than sentimentality.

-- gilda (jess@listbot.com), August 14, 1999.

It's been kind of therapeutic to read all the responses. To clarify, she does not want to spend much money on her wedding, and I agree about the cash vs. wedding scenario, and have long ago told her that is what would happen. Whether we have $50., $500., or $5,000. to give her, she gets the money and decides how she will "invest" it. She's a practical but sentimental girl, e.g. she already got her dress at the Goodwill store (beautiful I might add) but cares most about her old friends being with her. As far as waiting,...she will not have any kind of sexual relationship until after the wedding, and I think most of us can remember the way you feel when you want to be with the one you love, and I don't just mean sexually either. I have suggested waiting until Valentine's Day or anytime after, just to see how it goes. Her point was, that the most important thing to her was having the people she cares about being able to be there, and since is a good chance that might not happen after rollover, she would rather have a quiet simple wedding BUT, down there, before rollover. If it were just her father and I, ....but we have six other kids, all the way down to one year of age. The RV idea wasn't bad, but I've driven in and out of CA many times, and it is one long dry stretch, not alot of ways in and out. Ugh. If there are serious disruptions in water, sewer, and food, ANY congested urban area is going to be hellish I think.

-- Mumsie (Shezdremn@aol.com), August 14, 1999.

Mumsie,

Go to the wedding and let it be at Christmas...You and Yours will be fine...as long as you return home before New Year's Evil.

NOTHING is going to happen before the ROLL, but who knows what the Powers That Be will decide in January. Since they are not having sexual relations now, it is best to get them married and honeymooning this year...then you can all face the Y2K challenge as an enlarged extended family in January!

Good luck!

-- K. Stevens (kstevens@It's ALL going away in January.com), August 15, 1999.

since your daughter is abstaining until the wedding, i take back what i said about them waiting until xmas of 2000. i think they should get married ASAP. they could get married within 6 weeks, which would be plenty of time to make preparations.

my daughter is getting married september 18, only a month away now. i can hardly wait until it's over!

-- jocelyne slough (jonslough@tln.net), August 15, 1999.

My daughter wanted to get married and she has been living with the guy for 5 years. I told her I wasn't paying for any wedding (she can't afford one either, GOOD!), because she's already married (not legally,) so why get married at all? That was a year ago, she got upset with me but I stuck to my guns. She's been calling me now for the past 6 months concerned about Y2K and what she should do. Got a call from her last night and she's really scared, she's not going to get married, and will be at our house without her DGI boyfriend. So wait it out Mumsie, things might change.

-- smart mom (smartmom@smartmommm.com), August 15, 1999.

Well my goodness! It seems as though my first gander through the y2k forums leads me to a discussion regarding my wedding! (Hehe-Mumsie and I share this email addy, and thought I would post a response or two-seeing as it is MY wedding in question.) Firstly, thank you all for responding...I am taking all advice and responses into consideration. Since I am a newbie, I am not sure what all the abbreviations are all about-but I'll try my best. I do not want to create any type of financial burden on my family as this is the time to prepare and save. I have been working hard and saving this summer and just landed a second job. My intended hasn't actually asked me yet-(I know, I know-a slight glitch in plans)but if he does I would really love to get married this Christmas before any possible nasty scenarios. My biggest problems are: #1 Where to have it? All my dear friends that I grew up with and a few relatives are down in Sunny CA, most cannot afford to fly to my new homestate. Whether there or here it will definitely be a small wedding. I intend it to be solely for fellowship and support, not a big shebang or a show-as most weddings today are. #2 He has two years of schooling left to get his degree. (This problem is a little more complicated in my opinion and has a wide range of possible problems and consequences.) We are both 19, and I am turning 20 shortly. I am determined to put him through school, but am fully aware of how most young marriages work out when the degree is not finished before marriage. Does anyone out there have some advice or experience in this area? (Besides you dear Mumsie hehe)Whom I might add also married at a young age. Or, perhaps...I am just too young and too crazy. Whatever I am, I am certainly madly in love and determined to do what God wants me to do in this relationship for better or for worse. (Hehe no pun intended) Thanks for all the great answers guys!

-- Natasha (Shezdremn@aol.com), August 17, 1999.

Dear Natasha:

GOOD LUCK in your future life. Your determination to put him through school is noted and admirable. I am the beneficiary of someone who wnated me to finish school after we got married. I KNOW she put her own education etc. on hold. Often, even though I was the "educated" one, SHE was the employable one. Currently, SHE has the better paying job, and I am basically contributing the Cell phone and half the credit card payments, as well as the recreational funds (and prep funds).

We have ALWAYS figured it didn't matter what we did, or who made more money, as long as the bills were reasonably on time, and we were both happy doing what we were doing. Parenthetically, we've ALSO found that working opposite shifts seems to cut down on the fighting. Can't understand why (LOL VBG) [ask dad].

While I realize that for most guys this won't work (didn't for my Dad, so mom had increasing amounts taken out of her check, (for retirement, etc) in order to have a check snmaller than dad's), but it HAS for us.

And lest you think we're freshly wed, our 25th aniversary was celebrated by her family a week and a half ago and happens on Aug 30.

Chuck Rienzo, a Night driver, a Sysop, and a person who, to steal a line from E.E. "Doc" Smith is continually amazed that this particular delightful creature has decided to spend the rest of her life with me.

Doesn't mean we don't fight. Doesn't mean the subject of divorce hasn't come up several times, just means we're willing to work HARD on the problems as they arise.

CR

-- Chuck, a night driver (rienzoo@en.com), August 17, 1999.

Mumsie's daughter:

Well, I'll say it......

If he hasn't asked you to marry him yet, what is stopping YOU from asking HIM? Happens all the time.

I thought you guys had a date pretty much targeted. I believe you both need to have a very serious discussion about this, and yes, you may be the one to initiate it. Not very romantic, you say? Well, it depends. Marriage to your partner in hard times, terribly trying times, desperate times *is* romantic, although maybe not how we've been conditioned to view romance. Working with your partner toward the common good and for the good of the other is what it is all about. If you don't have definite plans, ie., a DATE, you need to discuss this in greater depth.

It's one thing to 'plan' to get married soon; quite another to have PLANS to be married soon.

Please talk with him a little more.

-- Wilferd (WilferdW@aol.com), August 17, 1999.

Natasha,

If you're a newbie, get your butt over to the prep forum quick, then get out there and start prepping.

He may be waiting to ask you when he finishes school. I know of one other couple that is engaged, but waiting for the same reason. In which case, get your butt over to the prep forum quick, then get out there and start prepping.

-- nothere nothere (notherethere@hotmail.com), August 17, 1999.

I think he is waiting to ask her "in person" since they are 1300 miles apart presently. I believe he is coming here over Labor Day.

I love that girl!

-- Mumsie (Shezdremn@aol.com), August 17, 1999.