Is your computer male or female?

A language instructor was explaining to her class that French nouns, unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine. Things like "chalk" or "pencil", she described, would have a gender association although in English these words were neutral.

Puzzled, one student raised his hand and asked, "What gender is a computer?"

The teacher wasn't certain which it was, and so divided the class into two groups and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine. One group was comprised of the women in the class and the other of men. Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.

The group of women concluded that computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because:

1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.

3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.

The men, on the other hand, decided that computers should definitely be referred to in the feminine gender because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories.

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), August 05, 1999

Answers

Whatever gender my computer is now, I can tell you what it will be on New Year's Eve. It will be OFF. No idea when (if ever) it will be possible or wise to try to turn it back on. :(

www.y2ksafeminnesota.com (newly updated)

-- MinnesotaSmith (y2ksafeminnesota@hotmail.com), August 05, 1999.

Read this as part of a whole list which was originally much longer. Doubt there ever was such a class assignment but it makes a good intro to the list.

-- R (riversoma@aol.com), August 05, 1999.

My PC is "fixed".

-- Randolph (dinosaur@williams-net.com), August 05, 1999.

If you must know, a computer is refered in the masculin in french; un ordinateur.

The french language makes a lot of sense when you think of it.

-- Frenchy (grenouille@home.com), August 05, 1999.

Our 2 computers have been spayed & neutered. My wife liked my 'puter so much, she wanted one just like it for herself. But since we have a youngster with an impressionable psyche, we decided to take steps to prevent any cyber-hanky-panky. Besides, we heard there were some problems with in-bedded chips.

-- Spindoc' (spindoc_99_2000@2000.com), August 05, 1999.

MINE happens to be hermaphroditic. Haven't seen any little ones yet, so I suspect it is NOT parthenogenic.

Chuck

-- Chuck, a night driver (rienzoo@en.com), August 06, 1999.

I haven't seen "parthenogenic" since I wrote a paper on aphids many moons ago. Boy, what a way to reproduce - born pregnant! Thank heavens we bipeds aren't so prolific. Thanks for the reminisce.

-- Bingo1 (howe9@pop.shentel.net), August 06, 1999.