I need help here. My sister-inlaw is coming in.. she is one of those knows it all..never stops talking, I am always right type. The last time she was here,I made a comment about being concerned about Y2k. She laughed her head off and went on about how her mother-in law is all worried,told her son she needed to get a generator and was preparing. sister_in law laughed and said she is a nut..as her mother-inlaw is going all out because someone at church brought it up. ( her mother is highly religious, my sister-inlaw hardly ever goes). Well I told her we did get a generator and I really thought it was something to be concerened about. She once again rambeled on and on how she knows it's going to be nothing and went on to make fun of people going crazy stockpiling. I personally dislike this women and dread every time she comes to visit. She is a Priss,sells Mary Kay and walks around like a Princess. Her husband gives her an allowance every month from his account to run the house.( his family owns a very very large grocery chain in Lansing, Mich). Yes, there is money ( she came from a very poor background)and she turns the other cheek when her husband gets out of hand.. I want to finally put her in her place over this. She knows nothing more then e-mail, so she says.. Please help.. what should I tell her. I just want to shut her up..

-- Cassandra (american_storm@usa.net), August 05, 1999

Answers

Tell her your guestroom is full of Y2K supplies but you'd be happy to reserve a room for her at a hotel.

-- Ms. Manners (sitting@the.desk), August 05, 1999.

did you say she is visiting you? she is a guest in your home then and let her know right away you will not be trampled in your own home. when the conversation turns to y2k and she starts, interrupt her and in a calm and nice way tell her you take this matter very seriously and you do not appreciate the put downs.. that if she doesn't have something nice to say..

prepare others in your household to support you... if her husband gets out of hand, the same goes for him...

if they continue to "rain on your parade" so to speak... limit your y2k discussions when she's around, continue to hold your ground, and leave her sitting alone at the table if she can't behave and you really have issues to discuss...

every day is important... our peace of mind and the time to enjoy it is the most valuable thing we have... don't let someone else make you feel studpid or take up your valuable time...

people respect or hate those who are willing to stand up for themselves... just keep it simple and nice and let them show their you-know-whats!! ps.. don't try to convince them of ANYTHING!! good luck!!

-- booann (cantsay@lovemyjob.edu), August 05, 1999.

This probably isn't terribly Christian but... If she were my relative, I'd be tempted to say nothing at all about y2k. Let her find out the hard way. Do you really want this woman hysterically banging her fists on YOUR door when tshtf...? Let her think you're as clueless as she is, & she'll be more likely to leave you alone.

You can't win with people like this. It may be best, or at least necessary, to sit back & leave them to their fate.

Do the words "natural selection" ring a bell?

-- you have (all@my.sympathy), August 05, 1999.

Cassandra, buy more duct tape!

-- tape her mouth shut (silence@golden.relief), August 05, 1999.

Rent movies "Soylent Green", "Trigger Effect", "Mad Max(?)" .... tie her to a chair with the VCR going, then you go out and have dinner, go shopping, whatever. :-)

-- A (A@AisA.com), August 05, 1999.

Don't forget to screen 'A Clockwork Orange' while she's tied to the chair.

-- Trollyanna (r@t.com), August 05, 1999.

Tell her you don't want to discuss it. If she insists, refer her to the writings of Charles Darwin on natural selection. Mention that not a one of the hardier species has any need whatsoever of any Mary Kay product of any kind. Advise her you will be shooting to kill if someone approaches you post roll-over without "the special password." Seriously, don't waste your time on this dead meat bimbo.

-- (natural@selection.com), August 05, 1999.

Yes Cassandra, I'd say you truly do need help!

How is it that you have the nerve to describe this person so well that you felt the need to write "she turns the other cheek when her husband gets out of hand..". What the hell type of comment is that to make about anyone!

You've told us that his family owns a very large grocery chain in Lansing, Michigan......there can't be many families that own large grocery chains in Lansing now can there? Then you tell us that she sells Mary Kay and came from a very poor background.

Basically, you have given enough information that anyone in the Lansing area could probably figure out exactly who this lady is!! Why not just print her name out on the internet for all to see while you're at it.........

You personally dislike this woman do you......One thing i am sure of, I'm sure she'll have a major hate on for you if she ever gets wind of what you have written here about her for all to see.

-- Craig (craig@ccinet.ab.ca), August 05, 1999.

So, now this forum is a new "Ann Landers" site? If you don't like her, tell her, or continue to put up with her crap.

-- (rcarver@inacom.com), August 05, 1999.

Cassandra,

Lane Core has written an excellent essay for Westergaard that has a bunch of good links toward the end that are suggested reading for any business types that still deny the Y2k issue. I suggest you go to that page and select one or two good links, print them out, and leave them on a table in plain sight. Some of these links are for material that is beyond denial, period. She may not choose to read it, but if she does, it will be difficult for her to say it is bunk.

www.y2ktimebomb.com/Computech/Issues/lcore9929.htm

-- Gordon (gpconnolly@aol.com), August 05, 1999.

You can't put her in her place because she's ignorant and stupid, so don't bother. Tell her nothing and let her die.

-- (its@coming.soon), August 05, 1999.

Can I meet her?

-- Porky (Porky@in.cellblockD), August 05, 1999.

Don't even mention it. If her husband owns a large grocery chain, she already has her stash, whether she realizes it or not...

R.

-- Roland (nottelling@nowhere.com), August 05, 1999.

It looks like we really are in the End Game and silence seems to be emerging as the Golden Policy. Totally odd that Y2K generates such heated-feeling reactions. It's best to back away from this Live Wire and not let other's volatile voltage electrocute your peace and momentum. Say nothing and smile sweetly and change the subject!

Let The Chips Fall Where They Will

3~0 3~0 3~0 3~0 3~0 3~0 3~0 3~0 3~0 3~0 3~0 3~0

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), August 05, 1999.

I would talk non stop about y2k. I would drive her nuts with nothing but y2k talk. Print out all the articles (see post from Stimpy) and read them out loud every chance you get. I always fight fire with fire when relatives are involved. Works every time.

-- Carol (glear@usa.net), August 05, 1999.

Put her in a mudpit with King of Spain?

-- Dog Gone (layinglow@rollover.now), August 05, 1999.

thanks all.. just needed some info.. no she is not staying with us..and the reson I brought this up was because when I first found out about y2k in January, I convinced my husband to get a generator. As I started to read more about it, I would share it with him. One evening he flipped out at me-- went out to the garage and started smashing my y2k supplies including the genarator. My father in law must have mentioned it to her when she came in to visit(as I told him what his son did) and when she came to visit me she said all guys are like that and then went on about what a bunch garbage y2k was. Sorry, I am alone on this.. just wanted help.. and sorry if it seemed Ann Landers like..

-- Cassandra (americam_storm@usa.net), August 05, 1999.

cassandra... whether they spend the night or not is irrelevant... when in your home, RESPECT is due, period... don't know what to think about your husband... start demanding RESPECT from those you care about... they will not like it at first, but will respect you more as time goes on... really have your hands full, don't you... go with your gut, and prepare as YOU think you should... let the naysayers be just that... time will tell

-- booann (cantsay@lovemyjob.edu), August 05, 1999.

Why not do your Y2K trial run while she visits? Turn off the juice. Just might help her to GI.

-- (cannot-say@this.time), August 05, 1999.

Cassandra, Best of luck. Probably it's best not to discuss it, but for me what works best is when my real temper is triggered and my mouth shoots off of it's own accord.

As for a certain poster on many of the posts today who has been uniformly nasty, I wonder what that is about. Talk about releasing a little rage.

-- Mara Wayne (MaraWAyne@aol.com), August 05, 1999.

Whatever you do, don't wear your Y2Krackpot tinfoil hat. That'll get her laughing even harder...

-- Y2K Pro (y2kpro1@hotmail.com), August 05, 1999.

Mara,

Just can't help but go off a few times myself. I just hope I don't sound like a loon. I've got REAMS of information from credible sources and I still feel as though It's TOO sureal for anyone to understand. (Is it too much for anyone one to understand another man's fear?)

Or is it too much to ask that an individual assume responsibility for themselves?

Father

-- Thomas G. Hale (hale.tg@att.net), August 05, 1999.

Cassandra, Sorry about busting on you with the Landers remark. Your post only spoke of a whiny relative. But to have a husband that smashes your stuff, that's another story. The guy needs help. Unfortunately, I can't help with that. But I can empathize with being alone in knowing how important it is to prepare. All you can do is keep at it to the best of your ability. (Dear Abby says tell hubby to cool his stuff or you'll boot his sorry ass out the door :-)Good luck

-- (rcarver@inacom.com), August 05, 1999.

Your husband's family sounds VERY dysfunctional. Your sister-in-law's husband apparently beats her, (but she stays with him for the money.) Your husband has a problem with rage as well. Does he beat you, too, or just destroy property? Wonder what he'll be like if things get really bad? You need to RUN, not walk, to someplace that will help him deal with his anger.

I would simply tell my sister-in-law that I was buying "insurance." If nothing happens, you will eat your "insurance." What's the big deal with that?

-- (nobody@important.anyway), August 05, 1999.

Cassandra: I think you are jealous of your sister-in-law. You really don't give a rats ass about her, you just want to get even with her. There are several things you mentioned that had nothing to do with Y2K but only with the person she is. You stated your sister-in-law wasn't religious, she talks nonstop, she is a "Priss and sells Mary Kay and walks around like a Princess, and her husband gives her spending money. If you dislike her so much and do not want to be made fun of simply tell her to f** off! But I think you know the real reason why you dislike her so much, it's because she has more than you do and you are jealous of that.

-- seerightthroughitall (seerightthroughitall@seerightthroughitall.com), August 05, 1999.

Cassie, you are jealous. You want to be right, but you are not. Let it go. You will look like a fool for trying so hard.

Are you tryin to tell her about Y2k or trying to be better than her somehow.

-- thigh master (ThighMaster@tightbutt.com), August 05, 1999.

Cassandra, I believe it was Jesus that said don't throw pearls to pig's...

"Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces. Mt:7:6

"Wisdom is in the presence of the one who has understanding, But the eyes of a fool are on the ends of the earth." Pr 17:24

Perhaps a bit brash, but true none-the-less. I guess try listening to whatever it is she has to say and then point her to something very simple about Y2K in a caring manner if the situation arrises...

-- Tribe (tribeshawn@netscape.net), August 05, 1999.

Thomas, Sorry, it's not you, it's that dude who's name begins with a C. Don't want to pay someone like him too much attention...

-- Mara Wayne (MaraWAyne@aol.com), August 05, 1999.

Cassandra: According to history, Cassandra was a prophetess. Noone believed her words of "doom" and prophetic voice that God's judgment was coming. But it came none the less.

Maybe someone can fill us in on the story of Cassandra.

Looks like you were aptly named and I don't believe in coincidences.

sdb

-- S. David Bays (sdbays@intplus.com), August 05, 1999.

Doesn't matter what her name is, could be a phoney one for all we know. I think "seerightthroughitall" has Cassandra pretty well pegged, she wants to get even with her sister-in-law because she is jealous of her. Perhaps Cassandra needs to search her heart and not be the nasty one.

-- no sympathy here (no sympathy here@nosympathy.com), August 05, 1999.

Cassandra....

Pay no attention to the wimpering little Craig, nobody else does. He never fails to let his large mouth dominate his tiny mind. Lonely boy hoping to sound like a man...not today.

-- Too (little@too.late), August 05, 1999.

Over 95% of the U.S. population are DGI at best, and IMHO most of those are DWGIs. Expect to have both in your extended family (I do). Frankly, it would be more of a surprise if you did not number some of both types among your relatives.

www.y2ksafeminnesota.com (recently updated)

-- MinnesotaSmith (y2ksafeminnesota@hotmail.com), August 05, 1999.

MinnesotaSmith: Can you imagine all of Cassandra's family living in one home? They would be killing each other! Her sister-in-law's husband is abusive to his wife, Cassandra hate's her sister-in-law, and Cassandra's husband sounds like he gets physically abusive too! My God, this is a soap opera writers dream script - "Cassandra's Y2K World." My God people, don't we have enough of our own problems to get drawn into this soap opera? However, I want to know what Cassandra's plans are...please Cassandra don't leave us high and dry, tell us what happens....."As Cassandra's World Turns."

-- seerightthroughitall (seerightthroughitall@seerightthroughitall.com), August 05, 1999.

Whisper.

-- PNG (Peter Gauthier) (png@gol.com), August 06, 1999.

Just for the record, I Am NOT jealous of my sister-in law. She happens to be a pushy women. I am a sensitive person and I would never do the things she does. I have once flipped out on her(my husband stuck up for me) and she banned me from her fathers home (which she was a guest.) I could care less. She has interferred in 2 marriages of my other brother-inlaw. Both wives detested her too. They left I stayed, more out of security and no where else to go. My husband does not hit me.. he has a violent temper that goes off a few times a year, and I plan to leave him after y2k. I can't go now, I have no where to go.. Thanks for you help..even if you thought I was jealous..far from it.. Been abused enough..

-- Cassandra (american_storm@usa.net), August 06, 1999.

buy a gun cassandra,tell no-one.any woman in an abusive relationship should be able to defend herself against a stronger person.

-- zoobie (zoobiezoob@yahoo.com), August 06, 1999.

Cassandra...I would not avoid dealing with the "anger" problem until after Y2K (after which time you stated your intention to leave your husband). This is an excuse and a cop-out. (There is always a way out, just as there is always an excuse for not doing what we should.) If you care about your husband, then take a stand for what is "right" "now". Insist on counseling...that it is not an option if he wants you to stay in the marriage. Make sure you find a good counselor, it may not be the first one you talk with. Remember, if Y2K causes serious complications and disruptions, it will mean an automatic on- going trigger to your husband's outbursts of anger. Hint: Does he make excuses for his outbursts? Then they will likely continue and worsen. Does he take full responsibility, blaming absolutely no one but himself? Then there is even more hope that counseling will be of great help. If you don't really love him, then by all means leave him,... perhaps he will find a woman who will show him tough love and help him. Don't just use him, or you will end up the biggest loser. As to your sister-in-law, there were grains of truth in most of the above posts. You apparently do not like or respect this woman, much less care for her as a person. You will respect yourself and sleep better if you calmly tell her how you feel. Some suggestions: Choose a neutral place without time pressures. Tell her what she has "done" to cause specific offense, and that when she did "this or that" it made you "feel" hurt/angry etc. Then you are stating your opinions and feelings. Do not say, "You are arrogant, you are inconsiderate". Then you would be judging her in a black and white hypocritical fashion. Stick to your opinions and feelings. If you approach her in a firm but caring manner, you may even end up with a valuable ally. Better than an enemy. Best wishes.

-- Mumsie (Shezdremn@aol.com), August 06, 1999.