You know I've gone to 2 pet stores today and *niether* of them have had crickets! No crickets! This has never happened before! I wonder if it's related to Y2K? Maybe Clinton is masterminding some sort of cricket crisis to distract us from Y2K? Maybe he's just the devil and will shed his human form when the NWO takes over, allows gays to wear scuba gear, gives even bigger reparations to small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri, takes away *everybody's* right to bear fully automatic weapons loaded with bullet peircing weasels, legalizes post-partum abortion, illegalizes Ikea instructions and creates an army of fem-bots to saticfy his gross sexual needs!

*pant* *pant* *

-- Typhon Blue (typhonblue@hotmail.com), August 01, 1999

Answers

Plenty of Cricket in England, Australia, India and Pakistan at the moment...

-- Andy (2000EOD@prodigy.net), August 01, 1999.

How many do you want?? Here on the Gulf coast we have plenty. Y'all come down and hep yersef!!

-- Hannah (Hannah@Colonial America.com), August 01, 1999.

One shudders to think what Typhon Blue intended to do with crickets.

-- mchnst (Gunmkr52@aol.com), August 01, 1999.

So -- try grasshoppers -- pill bugs -- angleworms --

The world is so full of a number of things....

-- Tom Carey (tomcarey@mindspring.com), August 01, 1999.

This is an attempt at a serious reply about crickets...

We have not had to employ an exterminator for the last year and a half...and in Central Arizona that is reckless with regards to crickets.

About two years ago, we adopted a red and white American Shorthair (aka alley cat) at the local Petsmart. He was pretty scrawny. He began to gain weight. We put him on a special diet cat food and carefully measured his portions. Still he gained weight.

Even though we "hired" him to keep SCORPIONS out of the house, we found that he has a distinct weakness for the 'John the Baptist' staple of desert diet...

CRICKETS!!!

-- K. Stevens (kstevens@It's ALL going away in January.com), August 01, 1999.

I'll sell you some- 10 for a buck. How many thousands do ya want.......??

-- farmer (hillsidefarm@drbs.net), August 01, 1999.

They are having a plague of locusts in Russia now. It is very serious--runing the crops and, worse, laying eggs. It's a bad time for a food shortage.

-- Mara Wayne (MaraWAyne@aol.com), August 01, 1999.

Do tell,Typhoon Blue

Why do you need crickets ?

-- Chris (griffen@globalnet.co.uk), August 01, 1999.

I've noticed a cricket shortage. Mainly due to the intense heat and drought conditions, the crickets are hiding deeply in ground cracks and crevices. They come out at night, mostly...

-- Randolph (dinosaur@williams-net.com), August 01, 1999.

I'm training a frog ESWAT as backup for my Ferret SWAT. Don't tell.

-- Typhon Blue (typhonblue@hotmail.com), August 01, 1999.

I can't find my cricket either, I think my y2k bug eat it. Damn!

Hang in there Blue, their will be a noticable increase in insects come 2000.........

-- MidWestMike_ (MidWestMike_@hotmail.com), August 01, 1999.