I apologize in advance (it's just humor, folks). Sung to the "Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" by Gordon Lightfoot. (My answer to "a's" version of the theme to Gilligan's Island)

"The Wreck of the Y2K Heralds"

The legend lives on from the IT pros down To the forum they used to call doomy The man they call Ed, was out of his head When he headed on out to the boonies.

Some called him a bore, but said he knew more Than all of those writing in C "We started too late," and that sealed our fate cause software is never done early.

North played along and Hamaski jumped on CPR called them all liars. There was plenty of room, for the prophets of doom And even more net-based suppliers.

It was late 98, the times they were great Ed Yourdon wrote a big best seller The 10-year depression became an obsession God help the unwitting bank tellers.

Through 99, there were plenty of times The critical dates passed real quiet The Doomers kept true, despite the good news And stored up a rice and beans diet.

Late in the year, they all grew in fear Though business was better than ever The rants and the raves, broke like the waves As they hunkered down for the bad weather.

Ed said goodbye, deJager changed sides Paul Milne still lived in a trailer. The newswire spin raised up a din Waiting for systemic failures.

Finally it came, the end of the game The doomers thought us in deep peril And later that night, when stayed on the lights Came the wreck of the Y2K Heralds.

Does anyone know, where all the food goes When the end of the world doesnt happen The food banks made out, oh, without a doubt And there probably was some trouble crapping.

We might have all died! They all told us lies! The same complaints became rather futile. I wasnt wrong, was the most favored song Besides, all my preps are quite useful

Ed Yourdon, he writes, and G. North delights Though his 20-year string is unbroken. Milne is still mad, and Hamaski quite sad. And Mike Adams now lives in Hoboken.

The legend lives on from the IT pros down To the forum they used to call doomy The Y2K year, we had nothing to fear When we headed on out to the boonies.

-- Mr. Decker (kcdecker@worldnet.att.net), July 22, 1999

Answers

Sorry about the format. An unsuccessful word cut-and-paste.

-- Mr. Decker (kcdecker@worldnet.att.net), July 22, 1999.

ROTFLMAO

-- a (a@a.a), July 22, 1999.

I must admit, one of the BEST so far!

-- Dennis (djolson@pressenter.com), July 22, 1999.

HILARIOUS! (I tried to find the song and HTML it into the background but, alas, no luck.)

-- CD (not@here.com), July 22, 1999.

You're a good sport and we'll all take a snort, in the hopes that your prophesy's granted...Superior minds may be way out of line, but with no prepping you might be hungry...Your poor old Mom, and your dad,(Big Tom) are a wondering when the mobs will attack em... So make your plans too, I dont need to tell you, that your Ma and your Dad are important.....

-- Roger (pecosrog@earthlink.net), July 22, 1999.

As a big Gordon Lightfoot fan, I'm not as amused. The Edmund Fitzgerald did finally sink with all aboard lost. Still, I appreciate the attempt at creativity, and accept it in the manner I think it was intended.

-- Dog Gone (layinglow@rollover.now), July 22, 1999.

You keep surprising me Mr. D.

Great stuff. You too Roger.

-- Carlos (riffraff1@cybertime.net), July 22, 1999.

I give it an 8 for creativity. (And from me to you, that's generous)

But only 3 for rhyme and 3 for meter.

And, BTW, the name is Hamasaki.

-- Elbow Grease (LBO Grise@aol.com), July 22, 1999.

I laughed, I cried, I gave it an eight out of ten.

-- Y2K Pro (y2kpro1@hotmail.com), July 22, 1999.

Pro compasionate??

-- R. Wright (blaklodg@hotmail.com), July 22, 1999.

Thanks, all. The "embedded" music is a nice touch. Again, I mean no disrespect to the original song (and forgive the loose structure.) Next time, I'll invest more time and effort.

Regards,

-- Mr. Decker (kcdecker@worldnet.att.net), July 22, 1999.

(Note... try to get into the rhythm before reading)

De-Deckers, De-Bunkers and De-Biffies
Set sail on uncharted e-waters
Convinced only they
Have the right and the way
To tell others how to think day-to-day.

Zealots for freedom
And the American way
As long as you do what they say
Else youll end up in cprs FBI files
With threats of cracking rocks into piles.

You see, only they have been gifted
With seeing futures global Y2K plans
So they are mostly the ones
Loading tons of e-guns
And firing their cannons this way.

Only they have the maps and the charts
To decide others choices for them
Their mission?... to lead lost newbies away
From life-saving preparations
N other like-minded WhyTooKay hearts.

They justify repeated tossing
Of flaming e-swords and crossing
Any in their path
With ridicule and rath
Because only they are the light and the way.

They see not the hypocrisy of their actions
The slashing and trashing and gashing
Like pirates of yore
Scattering digital words, guts n gore
Yelling alls fair in love... hate... and cyber-war!

Disrupting, ripping and tearing... uncensored
They think it is us
They are paring... down... ever down
Yet unfeelingly they shred only themselves
On sharp swords of their own mis-lead creation.

Theyll try to continue boarding
And hoarding the threads of our treasured e-vessel
But if Yourdonites ever do unite
And call for swabbing the decks of their tripe
We can all sail smooth waters each Y2K night.

(n day)

Diane

(Oh well, I tried. Not a poetess by a long shot... just a short arrow).

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), July 22, 1999.

BRAVO, Diane!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-- King of Spain (madrid@aol.com), July 22, 1999.

hilarious!!!!!!

-- sarah (qubr@aol.com), July 23, 1999.

Oh Man!

This is the first time I remember really laughing out loud over a post (and actually singing along to the nasty little ditty!). Thanks....

-- Kristi (securxsys@succeed.net), July 23, 1999.

Sorry, Diane, but I had a tough time singing your version. Have you thought about different music for a melody? Yanni? (laughter)

If you'd like, I can lampoon the optimists with a different tune, but honestly, they just not as funny. Check my "tag lines" post, if you doubt me.

Regards,

-- Mr. Decker (kcdecker@worldnet.att.net), July 23, 1999.

Fabulous way to start a day! Love it.

-- Faith Weaver (suzsolutions@yahoo.com), July 23, 1999.

Kudos, Decker. It was a BMTMN moment during breakfast. (Blowin' milk through my nose).

-- ace (x@y.z), July 23, 1999.

There is a Y2K Satire forum up now.

http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a.tcl?topic=Y2K%20Satire

Someone already posted this one over there, BTW.

-- Paul Davis (davisp1953@yahoo.com), July 23, 1999.

Ya gotta read it in time with the music Ken.

Not surprised you "had a tough time singing my version." Wasn't meant to be sung... just read in time with the beat.

C'est-ce la vie.

Diane

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), July 23, 1999.

Diane,

Before I comment, if I might ask a question... was your version supposed to be funny? It seemed, well, rather earnest. I'll wait for a response....

Regards,

-- Mr. Decker (kcdecker@worldnet.att.net), July 23, 1999.

Earnest vs funny kind of sums you two.

-- Carlos (riffraff1@cybertime.net), July 24, 1999.