How many doomlits does it take to change a light bulb?greenspun.com : LUSENET : Y2K Satire : One Thread
NONE - Why bother? The power is going out anyway!
-- Paul Davis (email@example.com), July 20, 1999
How many pollies does it take to change a lightbulb?
NONE - why would you need to change a lightbulb? They never go bad. And besides, Sylvania says that they will last a MINIMUM of 250 hours, and mine only has 175 hours. They wouldn't LIE to me, would they?
-- Bob (firstname.lastname@example.org), July 21, 1999.
How many Doomers does it take to change a light bulb?
One to carefully remove the old bulb and take it to the bomb squad's headquarters where it can safely be defused.
Three to write letters to the Senate demanding better light bulbs.
Two more to write death threats to the Senate demanding better ligth bulbs and written compliancy statements thereof.
One to buy a thousand light bulbs at Sam's Club and bury all but one in their backyard with the rest of the stockpile.
One to criticize the other for not buying enough light bulbs and go out ot buy another thousand at Home Depot, and a generator to boot.
Three to carefullly manuever the ladder within the room, each careful to note any conspiracies from the other two.
One to write a letter to the Senate demanding security background checks for the ladder-bearers.
One to write a letter to God asking for his blessings in these times of darkness.
Two to transport the light bulb from the stockpile to the position fo the empty socket.
One to raise the light bulb to the height of the socket.
Three to carefully screw it into place.
Four more to write letters to the Senate demanding they go to the media about the "light bulb shortage".
One to blow up a federal building somewhere in Montana because of the rumors that the CIA have been sabotaging light bulbs making John Public waste their time replacing them while the CIA taps into their phone lines.
One to call himself Gary North
-- (email@example.com), July 21, 1999.
"How many doomers does it take to screw in a light bulb?"
Two, but don't ask me how they got in there!
-- Super Polly (Fu_Q_y2kfreaks@hotmail.com), July 26, 1999.