Special Features: Y2K Jokes

The Y2WD Bug

Submitted by amadwolf@kingfmmail

John Koskinen today announced that all Federal agencies were on schedule to deal with the Y2WD bug, and said the only worry was that the public would panic.

The Y2WD (You Too Will Drown) problem is caused by a flaw in computers. In an effort to save memory, early computer companies forgot what Bill Gates was really like. This led to the dominance of the PC market by Microsoft. This has caused the Lord God to get really pissed, and He has announced that He intends to make it rain 40 days and 40 nights, until Bill Gates has 100% liquid assets.

Koskinen dismissed as scaremongering stories that the White House was building a massive floating city. He was especially critical of Noah, who he accused of hoarding cubits. All most Americans need to do, he insisted, was to have a three day supply of food, and a few sponges and mops.

A new survey by the Gallop organization indicated that 78% of Americans, and 100% of Seattle residents, thought that there would be no Y2WD impact in their lives, but 86% plan to withdraw all their money from the bank in December. When asked why, 94% of those planning to withdraw funds said, "Because it is so much fun watching Alan Greenspan getting torqued."

Sales of ocean going survival gear increased 1200% in the last week. An informal survey by Titanic Gear Corporation indicated that most of the gear was being sold to meteorologists.

Communist North Korea issued a bulletin Monday boasting that their workers paradise would not have any problems with Y2WD, but that the lackies of the running dog Americans will all perish in terror.

Jesse Helms announced today that Y2WD is proof that God will get the perverts and that there is no global warming problem.

Dan Quayle stated, "Fears of drowning are groundless. God said that he would make it rain. Rain is water in the air. You can't drown unless the water is no longer in the air. That is why you never hear of angels drowning."

Microsoft announced that keeping computers dry is a hardware problem.

-- (lucy2k@home.com), July 09, 1999

Answers

And when Bill Clinton was asked to comment on the Y2WD bug, he responded, " I never...had sexual relations...with that woman..."

-- Barb (awaltrip@telepath.com), July 09, 1999.

The Quayle "quote" is a winner.

Center off.

-- regular (zzz@z.z), July 09, 1999.

Center off?

-- regular (zzz@z.z), July 09, 1999.

LOL!

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), July 09, 1999.

:-D

-- winna (??@??.com), July 09, 1999.