A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. The same is true in y2k remediation efforts. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole is maintained or even improved by the regular culling of the weakest members.

There will be the mother of culls at rollover.

In much the same way, the human brain can operate only as fast as the slowest brain cells through which the electrical signals pass. Recent epidemiological studies have shown that while excessive intake of alcohol kills off brain cells, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first (y2k pro?).

Thus, regular consumption of beer helps eliminate the weaker cells, constantly making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. This same principle applies to maintaining and improving the y2k remediation effort in the <100 working days we have left.

The result of this in-depth study verifies and validates the causal link between all-weekend parties and job related performance. It also explains why, after a few short years of leaving university and getting married, most IT professionals cannot keep up with the performance of the new graduates.

Only those few that stick to the strict regimen of voracious alcoholic consumption can maintain the intellectual levels that they achieved during their university years. So, this is a call to arms.

As our country is losing its battle against the all pervasive millennium bug we should not shudder in our cubicles. Get back into the bars! Quaff that pint! Your company and country need you at your peak, and you shouldnt deny yourself the ability to complete that remediation testing that you know you could achieve. Take life by the bottle and be all that you can be!

Drink for Britain, drink for the USA!

Cheers!

-- Andy (2000EOD@prodigy.net), June 21, 1999

Answers

And a "Popular Science" article from c.1969 suggests that small quantities of alchohol (a glass of wine, a short beer) taken an hour before an exam shows a statistically signifigant salubrious effect on scores. (Just don't try to say that on more than two beers.)

Apparently the brain, in attempting to function under the influence of depressants, overcompensates and improves its functioning.

So, programmers, don't forget that beer for breakfast.

Hallyx

"God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust?"---The Irish Times, Washington, D.C.

-- Hallyx (Hallyx@aol.com), June 21, 1999.

Hmm let's see, I've gotten two DUI's and had my license to drive suspended for a total of five years because of alcohol. I have been pulled over more than a dozen times when I was stoned and not once did an officer ever question my sobriety.

I think I'll stick to the pot.

"Pot is a weed that grows in the ground,

If God didn't like it, it wouldn't be around.

So for all of you people who are against getting high,

put down those shot glasses and give it a try"

I know one thing, if y2k is going to be as bad as some people think than I'll have a tidy little business providing herbal therapy to weary road travelers. The last thing I'd want to deal with during a strenous hike is a hangover.

You ever notice people who smoke pot tend to repeat themselves?

You ever notice people who smoke pot tend to repeat themselves?

-- ('scuse me while@ I kiss. this guy), June 21, 1999.

As a homebrewer that specializes in British style "ales". I'll toast to that!

-- kevin (innxxs@yahoo.com), June 21, 1999.

Thank you, Andy, for making me laugh! I've been getting too worried to do much of that recently. Going to get me a cold one right now! Hope it will help my preps!

-- dakota (none@thistime.com), June 21, 1999.

scuse me,

wrong wrong wrong,

"Hmm let's see, I've gotten two DUI's and had my license to drive suspended for a total of five years because of alcohol. I have been pulled over more than a dozen times when I was stoned and not once did an officer ever question my sobriety"

your freindly legislature, in the name of socialism did it.

-- R. Wright (blaklodg@hotmail.com), June 21, 1999.