Posted to CSY2K....

Guenier condemns Beckett's bug book by Isabel Choat

Taskforce 2000 boss Robin Guenier has accused the Government of trivialising the Y2K issue via a publication for the general public.

Launched by the leader of the House of Commons, Margaret Beckett, the booklet, called The Millennium Bug - Facts not Fiction, is designed to reassure the public that the date changeover is not going to cause chaos.

But Guenier claims it wrongly reinforces the view that there is nothing to worry about.

I think the Government have got it completely the wrong way round," says Guenier.

He adds, "The booklet is full of jokey cartoons and does not address the real issues such as potential job losses if companies go under. It trivialises the problem," he says.

A Cabinet Office spokeswoman insists the booklet meets the public's need for information. "The booklet emerged from research which showed that people wanted simple information which they could refer to," she says.

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The last line here, is hysterically funny.

"The booklet emerged from research which showed that people wanted simple information which they could refer to."

What a laugh.

Instead of coming up with something approaching the truth, they came up with what they thought that people wanted to hear.

Reasearch told them that people wanted 'simple stuff'. My goodness, do not confuse them with anything unpleasant, even though it is true. The important thing is to keep the message SIMPLE.

What is this 'simple' information that they can REFER to? It is that everything will be OK. Now, I ask you, if that is their message, what is there to REFER to, later?

"Gee, ya know Agatha, I need to go REFER to that booklet again. What did it say? Oh, yeah. Here it is on page 22. 'Planes will not fall from the sky'. I like that. It is simple information that I can REFER to. I just keep forgetting whether or not planes will fall from the sky. I love this handy-dandy 'simple' booklet that I can REFER to every time I forget whether the planes will or will not fall from the sky."

" Higgenbottom darling, I need a REFERENCE, too. Can you REFER me to the 'simple' information on my microwave oven? I sure am glad we got that government brochure. You know how I hate it when we get those non-simple government brochures that we can not REFER to. I really appreciate that the government of Her Majesty, The Queen, has understood our need for being able to obtain simple information to REFER to. God Bless The Queen."

Margaret Beckett is a flaming (expletive deleted). A flaming damn (expletive deleted).

http://www.computerweekly.co.uk/cwarchive/Xtra/19990617/cwcontainer.asp?name=C2.html

Paul Milne

-- Paul Milne (fedinfo@halifax.com), June 18, 1999

Answers

I wonder if the Queen likes to mudwrestle? Ahh, never mind, after hearing reports of what that nasty raw sewage looks like, maybe I'll switch to girlee oil wrestling videos instead.

-- King of Spain (madrid@aol.com), June 18, 1999.

Someone posted that info on our forum. "How to protect yourself from your VCR". I thought our government had put it out and I accused the author of being "Mr. Hanky, the Christmas Poo". I felt bad when it turned out to be England's....hey Andy? Do they get "South Park" in England? We need to elect Cartman for president in 2000. He don't take no crap offa nobody. Anyway....I blew a gasket reading that bunk. Took me 2 hours to recover. Listen though, our government doesn't think we're much smarter....and the majority of us aren't.

-- Will continue (farming@home.com), June 18, 1999.

I resemble this article.

It's a pity that y2k "pro" isn't Kenny... or maybe he is...

-- Andy (2000EOD@prodigy.net), June 18, 1999.

And Paul,

she's not called Bucket for nothing! :)

pps

pot, kettle, black, had a look at the USA web site recently for kiddies - y2k pro has a starring role...

-- Andy (2000EOD@prodigy.net), June 18, 1999.

Becket is typical of Blair's administration, it regards anyone who disagrees with them as complete idiots to be looked down on (as they have such a large majority, they must know what's best)

she hasn't a clue about anything (especially about personal appearance)

They gave this job to her as y2k is regarded as a joke

-- dick of the dale (rdale@coynet.com), June 18, 1999.

So how would Paul and Andy handle it:

BBC Television, 6.00pm main news broadcast, June 1999.

Announcer: "We interrupt our normal transmission for an important announcement from the Prime Minister's office on the Year 2000 computing problem"

[Cut to Cabinet office, 10 Downing Street. Entire Cabinet is assembled. Prime Minister Milne stands in the centre. Government spokesperson on Y2K matters, the Rt. Hon. Mr. Andy, is on his left. Behind the group, lurking in the shadows stands the solitary figure of Mr. Infomagic, Government consultant on Y2K scenario planning.]

Prime Minister Milne steps forward - camera zooms in for close-up head shot. He looks directly into the camera. A momentary pause ...he begins his address:
"BWAHAHAHAHAHA ...BWAHAHAHAHAHA ...BWAHAHAHAHA ...BWAHAHAHAHA"
...trails off into wimpering sound.
[camera zooms out capturing the entire room)

The Rt. Hon Mr. Andy turns and faces his colleagues who begin to sing the Monty Python anthem:

"Always look on the bright side of life ..da-dum da-dum da-dum da-dum ..."
[camera fades out slowly]

-- cby (cbyrne98@hotmail.com), June 18, 1999.

Welllll now. let's just think about that for a minute. Hmmmm. Actually, it wouldn't be nearly as funny as the original piece. Nope.

-- Will continue (farming@home.com), June 18, 1999.