As you might have guessed, it is no coincidence that the recent American Airlines crash occurred in Clinton's home town of Little Rock. The following information comes from the same sources that Matt Drudge uses, so they are of course, very reliable and trustworthy. It seems that a Miss Paula Jones was visiting her plastic surgeon in Dallas to be fitted for new breast implants (they say everything's bigger in Texas!). She had been scheduled to return on the flight that crashed, but at the last minute she decided to remain in Dallas and have a few more rolls in the hay with her doctor before she went home. Well Billy-Bub didn't want to pay her the rest of money he owed her for touching her in the motel, and wanted to make her disappear. Before knowing she had missed the flight, he called some of his mechanic buddies at the airport and asked them to "lube up" the runway a bit, and well, you know the rest. When investigators started snooping around they discovered a trail of a white substance on the runway. They do not believe that the mysterious white substance found on the runway is the same as what was on Monica's dress, but it is definitely slippery, maybe vaseline. Kenn Starr, being unemployed and bored out of his mind immediately became interested. The word is that he and has his goon squad have discovered some possible links to slick Willy, and will only need about $20 million to complete their investigation. Maybe they'll be able to stop him this time before he nukes all of us.

-- Hank (Henry@Hyde.com), June 06, 1999

Answers

The next thread after this one was started by JBD. I bet Hank and JBD know each other.

-- PQB (paul-217@aol.com), June 07, 1999.

THE CONSPIRACY!

The idea that America (or any country) values individuality as the highest ideal is a myth. Perhaps in simpler times it was true, but no modern industrial society can really afford a population of unpredictables. This is not surprising - the long history of our cult's persecution by the Conspiracy goes back for generations untold, and indeed there are signs of their hoary repression of prehuman SubGenii dating from before "man's" appearance on Earth. All of civilization's painful and misguided climb up from the primeval slime, and its subsequent loss of Slack and of any class at all, has been indelibly marked, nay, entirely motivated, by the aeons-bridging conflict between the Conspiracy's mindlessly chickenshit Witless Principals and the Jehovah-spawned, grandiose depravity of the superior yet ethnically all-encompassing race of latent SubGeniuses. (You should know this - you were/will be there in the Beforelife!) The fact that only in recent years has "our kind" begun to recognize our own sovereignty demonstrates both how vicious have been Their efforts at further denying us Slack and yet how near is our race to TRIUMPH. All this is ULTIMATE PROOF that Jehovah 1 has not only promoted the SubGenius as His Special Tool, but has simultaneously pulled the strings which make Them endarken Themselves with their hereditary ignorancy and us with their cubistic witch-hunt superstitions. His "reason" for this two-faced obedience-school programming, this fissioning of history into binary "war equations," unfortunately, or, perhaps, thankfully, remains a total mystery. But Jehovah 1 is not alone in His cosmic meddling, for Earth has been periodically visited for thousands of years by BENEVOLENT ALIENS of such technical and psychic superiority that their powers,while no match for Jehovah's, are nonetheless nothing short of " no slopeheads alone could build, the miracles of the Old Testament, all these and more are events so inextricably interwoven with the invisible background war between Jehovah and the Xists that all the "Ancient Astronaut" fossils in the world furnish only the barest of clues. (The movie rights ALONE to these gut-splitting tales of reincarnancient history are worth millions!) Yea, it has even been suggested that the Carpenter of Nazareth himself, God Jr., Jesus 'What, Me Worry?' Christ, was in actuality a 'space detective' of the Xists, walking the Earth in human form with the mission of extricating us from the Monster God's grip. The black shadow of the Conspiracy, unfortunately, has seen to it that even His teachings were diluted and distorted until human attempts to follow them were fully as misguided as the carving of the heads of Easter Island or the 'runways' of Nazca. And so the true destiny of the SubGenius has been kept secret from Man. For Jehovah 1 is to the Xists and Us what a hungry fisherman is to a prize fish and his favorite pet worm - the last in the can. How many million other races were used before us in these ghastly galactic water-sports? JEHOVAH 1 MANIPULATES US FOR HIS OWN SINISTER ENDS.

-- "BOB" ("BOB"@subgenious.com), June 07, 1999.

All of the above, in my opinion, is garbage.

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), June 07, 1999.

Had you going there for a while! Hee-heee-hee-heeee!

-- Hank (Henry@Hyde.com), June 07, 1999.

Ha Ha, the white stuff on the runway was wet cocaine. The planes next unscheduled stop was Mena, Ark., where it was to meet Slick Willy and George Dubbya before they left for the Bildenberger meeting.

-- Nikoli Krushev (doomsday@y2000.com), June 07, 1999.

The next thread after this one was started by JBD. I bet Hank and JBD know each other.

-- PQB (paul-217@aol.com), June 07, 1999.

I don't know who the hell you are pal but I haven't started any threads in quite some time. All of my fans know the real thing when they see it anyway.

Dieter rocks. Squire doesn't.

JBD

-- Jimmy Bagga Doughnuts (jim1bets@worldnet.att.net), June 07, 1999.

Sorry I take that back. I am wrong but this gives me another chance to slam Squire the Agent Provacateur.(no spell check)

-- Jimmy Bagga Doughnuts (jim1bets@worldnet.att.net), June 07, 1999.