For those who lose FC11 in the shuffle, who are finding it too long to load or who simply don't know to check the recent answers page - here it is!

FC2 found at http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id=000hxd

PS, Rob, this still doesn't mean you get to give up being our fearless leader!

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), May 27, 1999

Answers

Gayla, Welcome Home! Glad you enjoyed your trip. It sounds more like a marathon than a holiday to me - do you ever want to see the inside of a car again? ;-)

BTW, Robert, what IS that Judy file bit?

Am I forgiven for not awaiting a vote for the new thread?

-- Tricia the Cnauck (jayles@telusplanet.net), May 27, 1999.

What new thread? I got some new trousers the other day - do they count in the new thread?

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), May 27, 1999.

Technically, FC11 needs to wait until FC3-10 are completed,; aka FCII-FCX.

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), May 27, 1999.

What's this? A new thread already? And I am still the leader? This isn't fair! Someone else should be the leader. I have had two turns, uh, I mean terms, and now should be someone else's term - or turn. Isn't it illegal to have three terms, besides I am always getting my terms mixed up, Remember the en, ene, enem, OH nevermind!

-- Rob X-leader Michaels?????? (sonofdust@com.net), May 27, 1999.

Rob, you're the greatest, and I'm NOT just kissing up!! :-)

Hi Tricia! It's good to be back. There sure are a lot of new names (posters) since I left. I hope all of the FRLians find this thread. Hey, whatever happened to the circus? Oh Donna....

-- Gayla Dunbar (privacy@please.com), May 28, 1999.

Rob, did I see you were recruiting terns for additional stealth air power??

C

-- Chuck, a night driver (rienzoo@en.com), May 28, 1999.

No, you couldn't have see him recruiting any terns for stealth air shows - they're internally stealthy, and are hence and thnce invisible. Actually, I guess you take turns seeing him recruiting terns for the steath air power shows (as long as you gave the turns you took back after you were finished taking them because otherwise you'd run out of turns and have to fly straight), but you couldn't see what he was recruiting for the stealth air shows, and then you obviously couldn't see the stealth air show after the terns took their turn treating you to a stealth air show - if the terns in the stealth air show actually did take turns making turns around the stealth air show.

Because if they didn't take turns around the stealth air show, then the terns would have to fly straight and wouldn't be flying around the stealth air show anymore - they'd be flying someplace else.

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), May 28, 1999.

Ya know Robert, I don't know of anyone else who could have explained that the way you just did. May I express my deep and severe ineptitude.

Gayla, dear friend, welcome back!, For you, this morning Haiku:

Beautiful sunrise,

Terns wheeling over the waves,

Gulls race overhead.

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@net.com), May 28, 1999.

Robert, thanks so much for that explanation. Now it's less clear than mud. However, you might be able to clear it just a little by explaining how you'd know that the stealth terns had left the airshow or alternatively what a judy file is??

Rob, you do better haikus than me (or anyone but Unc - who is where?). Nonetheless, here is one for you :-)

.

Master of Stealth Geese

Fearless Fruitcake thread Starter

Writer of Haiku

.

- and for Donna (who seems to like limericks):

.

There once was a thread we called fruitcake

Some claimed it was only a mistake

I thought it was fine

(it even had wine!)

and was always a good read on my break.

.

Y'all have a good weekend, eh!

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), May 28, 1999.

Ya gotta love a Canadian who says "y'all!" :-) Rob, thanks for the haiku! It created a lovely picture in my mind. Before seeing the Great Salt Lake in Utah, it never occurred to me that there would be seagulls so far inland. There was also a story about how they saved crops once by eating a swarm of grasshoppers. Hmmmm...

Mr. Cook! When you finish with all of those terns and turns, please let me know if Miss Jean got her postcard from Canada???? I asked in the old Fruitcake thread, but I'm not sure if you saw it?

-- Gayla Dunbar (privacy@please.com), May 28, 1999.

Huh? My heads terning... ugh, spinning.

No... right... that's a Koskinen line.

Hummm, any hoo, Robert, what is your thread count on those pants? Are you sure you can count on them? Or is that in them?

Diane

(BTW, Rob and Old Git... thanks for taking a "spin" at the ever expanding, more than delayed ST!)

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), May 28, 1999.

For those taking off have a fun-filled, full and fruity holidazey weekend.

Diane

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), May 28, 1999.

To clarify the mud - which can be done too by spinning it rapidly in a centrifuge - but that brings back up (or out - relativistically speaking from the center of the centrifuge) those damn tern terms again - taking turns turning terns turning circles interminably would almost certainly turn them inside out if they were sitting in the centrifuge upside down - or inside out as the case may be. But then again, the turned hens laying eggs might be laid easier - or as otherwise stated, their terms would be shorter - but would the egg be longer? Or shorter? So many questions......

So less us simply assume the mud is clarified without spending time taking turns turning terns' inside's out towards the outside so the tern's terms are shorter, okay?

_____

By the way - "judy files" are those forwarded by the unknown Judy Manning person when the esteemed Diane person places put the wrong email return address on her recent missives from sacred spaces - hence we were returning around files originally turned around by Judy (Those damn birds again!) that originated from Diane but whch could not be returned to Diane ....

____

To the esteemed Miss Gayla D' - Yes, the card came through just fine. Did you go looking for mountains and snow just because the west side of Houston is flat and hot and humid eh?

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), May 28, 1999.

While playing the "Game of Life" this week with the family, the spin of the wheel landed me repeatedly on spaces where I lost my turn. And spinning a "10", which should have been perfect, instead had us all paying fines to my daughter (The Cop), whose radar caught us speeding. None of our turns were stealthy in the least, nor were they in any way least terns (which might have been protected), and too many of my non-least turns were lost.

Now it all makes sense...

-- Mac (sneak@lurk.hid), May 28, 1999.

My goodness what the heck did I start here? I was only talking about my term as leader being up. Yikes!

Looks like my activities coordinator, Dear Mrs. Michaels, has some project lined up for me to do the rest of today and tomorrow :( So Happy Memorial Day weekend to all.

Uh, did someone say they have some wine? Is this a dry thread? See youz guys Sunday night!

Long Live our Fruitcake Freedoms!!!!

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@com.net), May 28, 1999.

What is Slack? If you have to ask, you can never know. You were born with it -- everyone is born with Original Slack -- but the Conspiracy has most of it now. They don't even know what it is, but that hasn't stopped Them from siphoning off what little you have left. (The stealing of Slack paradoxically becomes easier the less of it there is around.)

The Slack that can be described is not true Slack. By definition, it is indefinable. True Slack is "Something for Nothing." It is a kind of direct perception, unfettered by so-called "Common Sense."

Happiness is agony compared to Slack. Compared to Slack, NIRVANA is like having your eyes slowly gouged out with a carrot-peeler while recieving electroshock. Ten hours spent basking in the White Light of the Ultimate is like ants crawling up your nose and burrowing deep into your sinuses while you are dying of thirst in the desert, in relation to an eigth of a millisecond of Slack.

So you must ask yourself: Do you have Slack? Do you? How would you know?

Slack is different things to different people. For 3/4 of the world's population, Slack is a good meal. And if things keep getting worse, someday Slack for ANYBODY could be just one more breath of REAL AIR.

For you, at this point in the 20th Century, Slack is probably tied very closely to MONEY. This is because the Conspiracy has made it seem NATURAL that you have to "work" to "buy Slack." It's mindboggling how completely They have reversed the natural order of things, and how easily we all fell for it. Although SubGenii by definition are never Conspiracy dupes, most of them are Conspiracy SLAVES.

The reason They have been so successful these last 10,000 years is that -- ironically -- at any given time you actually have more Slack than you can possibly appreciate until it is taken away. You are HALF ASLEEP until that happens -- and after it does happen, you'll never again have a chance to be fully awake. It is, to use the proper expression, FUCKED.

By the same token however, Slack cannot be bottled or sold -- thus it is really FREE! You don't even need "Bob" to find it; you need only develop your "Slack Awareness." "Bob's" teachings can expedite this process, so that it snowballs until you get more and more Slack with less and less work. Or, rather, through real work, instead of wage drudgery. For Slack isn't exactly laziness, but a kind of active sloth. It is what "Bob" calls "surfing the Luck Plane" -- floating down The Path of Least Resistance -- EXPLOITING your MISTAKES. You "negate effort" by not trying, by not even doing ... by merely "letting." When you can finally let go and just "SEE" rather than "look," then and only then will you trulybe able to "PEE FREELY." Only then will you have achieved Achievingness without trying.

Once you do have Slack, you don't have to worry about sharing it because no matter how much you possess, ten times as much is radiated out. And this can mean INSTANT MONEY -- LUCK AT THE RACES -- AN AVALANCHE OF FRENZIED SEX -- ANYTHING YOU DESIRE!

"Bob" isn't so lucky because he's smart, but because he might as well be incredibly stupid by "normal" standards. If you could be a tenth as dumb as "Bob," your mistakes, blunders, follies and fobles would become as profitable as his. To truly know Nothing-- ah, if but we only could!! Human nature would improve a millionfold!

---------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------

-- j.r."BOB" Dobbs ("BOB"@!.!), May 28, 1999.

Robert,

Finally received some of the twisted and turning "Judy files" from Judy, who it terns out is turning into a nice person. Problem is/was I have no idea if everything was terned in or not.

*Sigh*

And now that some real fruit cakes have turned public web-sites upside downs those still taking our terns have more time to turn in.

Get it? (Clear as unclarified mud).

Diane

(Time to tern over).

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), May 28, 1999.

??

Do slack off this weekend... you've terned.

Diane

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), May 28, 1999.

I don't know who this "Bob" is, but someone needs to let him know that fruitcake threads are "family" threads and we don't use foul language. Only FOWL language is permitted here. OK, Bob? BTW, DiETer is looking for you... seems he wants to kill you. Hmmm... maybe the circus could sell tickets?? ;-)

-- Gayla Dunbar (privacy@please.com), May 28, 1999.

Hate it when they "fowl" up the threads.

Welcome back Gayla! Sounds like you had wunnerful time too. You visited some awesome places.

Too bad about not findin' the internet cafe. (Or maybe it was a good thang).

;-D

Diane

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), May 28, 1999.

Yes, they've been making me shoot lots of .... "fowl" shots lately here (spoken as a Knicks fan). Uh-oh, does this mean I'm becoming a fruitcake too?

-- BigDog (BigDog@duffer.com), May 28, 1999.

-- (@ .), May 28, 1999.

Wouldn't want to break up the family, would we? Family? No, clique. You are an internet clique.

-- (@ .), May 28, 1999.

We are a gaggle of quacks! Beak attack! Scoot! Scat! Like our stealth geese we watchdog our fruitcake freedoms, complete with dynamite Beavers & Buttheads ;^) Fiat flacks flaking flat fizz fast. Zap!
And Gayla, we're still sulking & skulking because we wanted to meet you! In a pitchfork mood ... ;~}

xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxx

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), May 28, 1999.

Hey ..@..! At least on this thread you're trying to send us to "cleaner" places. On Fruitcake 2, this adolescent was trying to link to Playboy and Hustler. Now he's just trying for reality.com. School's out, huh?

Sorry, Leska!! I didn't want to mention this earlier, because DieTEr made an appearance today, but we actually saw 2 Beavers crossing the road in Jasper National Park. "Paddle" tails and all. I tried to recruit them, but they just waddled away.

-- Gayla Dunbar (privacy@please.com), May 28, 1999.

Hi, y'all. I'm back - we went to my husband's uncle's funeral (memorial service). I wasn't looking forward to it (!!), but it actually went very well. Burt had been ill for some time and wasn't going to get better; but 'there's never a good time for goodbye'.

Anyway,.. I return to a forum in transition! Kids home for the holidays (see --.@ above, *sigh*) and Ed about to leave us (WHAT!?! *sigh*). Hopefully he'll look in now and then, even if anonymously.

Now that the mystery of turns, terns and judy have all been solved, the beavers are working and the gardeners are weeding, we need to decide if chairman of the FRL is a term position or a lifetime sentence. Personally, I tend to the latter. Does Rob get a vote, or is he restricted to a tie-breaking vote? Also, where is the best place to find mid-summer fruitcakes (other than on this thread)?

Hope you're enjoying your weekend.

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), May 30, 1999.

Tricia: You tend to the latter? Well, I have been on a latter almost all weekend painting so no more latter for me thank you. In fact, I am a bit thirsty from all that work but there is nothing to drink here :(

Lots going on to say the least, both home and here. What a memorable weekend huh?

Tomorrow we march,

Memorial Day Parade,

Honor, Duty, Country.

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@com.net), May 30, 1999.

I'm marching off to sleep.

Tad too much to drink Rob. (Missed ya at the local MD party).

Tomorrow is another day... to figure things out!

Diane

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), May 30, 1999.

Here's one on me, Rob. And one for Uncle, too, for helping me shake the "blues." :-)

-- Gayla Dunbar (privacy@please.com), May 30, 1999.

Do not shake the blues

A little John Lee Hooker

Is good for the soul

-- Unc D (unkeed@yahoo.com), May 30, 1999.

OOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooo. What's this I see? Dear Gayla has given me a drink, and I am still thirsty.

MMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmm. Tasty. I Hicccup, and hav another. MMMMMMMMmmmmmmmm. This is very tastepee. HA HA . Hiccupup. Now did Unkle say Looker? Nononono.no No. he said Hooooker. Hmmm Hikpucup. A lookerhooker? dats blue? donnknow. I tink i'll haveanothre dink. Juza bittle lit now, dont wanna get dunk again. HA HA HA hhhhaaaa hickuppup. Mmmmmmmmmmm. Weeeeeeeee. letshoot DeItEr out cannnon agin. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Nother dwink. MMMmmmmmmmhiccccup. I peel slee peep noww. Wherz my crown car? I peel lik driveling. Did I weave it at da Circurse. donnknow. Hicupppup. ooohwelll, matbee a fiend willfinit and den wecan ZZZzzzzzz take a Hicpouop ZZzzzz litttl dive zzz...hic......up....zzzzzzzzzzzzz....

-- (ZzZz@zz.zz), May 31, 1999.

Oh, no, Gayla ;-). Unc usually drinks (dehydrated) beer, and ya gotta know that enabling a lush like Rob is never good! Oh, well, no use crying over spilt milk, at least Rob usually goes to sleep instead of making a big mess these days :-D

The change in address is just to save my poor hubby. If you want to contact me about something personal, the old addy is the way to go. If it's about forum stuff, the new addy is best.

We don't have Memorial Day in Canada, we combine Veteran's Day with Memorial Day and commemorate both on November 11th. However, for y'all from south of here, and with thanks to Rob:

Noble warriors

Remembrance, honour, respect

Truly are your due.

-- Tricia the Canuck (tricia_canuck@hotmail.com), May 31, 1999.

Lush? LUSH? Ok, that's it. I am going under the wagon, or over it, or maybe I'll drive it since I can't find my rubber clown car or Donna. After all, or before all, or perhaps between all, I have a reputation to live down to! Now, see? Youz guyz don't want no lushy leader now do ya!

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@com.net), May 31, 1999.

Not me - not me boss man...I didn't say it...she did, she did.

-- notme_goingtheotherway (pointing.thefinger@her.way), May 31, 1999.

Sorry, Rob. Gotta watch my tongue more carefully (Very difficult to do sans mirror, y'know). But who'd do better as a fruitcake leader than a lush? Especially if you do that 'rum to soften' thing that Chris told us about on Thread 1.

BTW, has Chris gone for good?? She's been hiding out for a long time now - spring cleaning won't do for an excuse any more. She'd better come back soon, or I'll start forwarding the FCII answers to her; maybe a bit of laughter will draw her out... For Chris (and BH, Invar, and all those 'on leave')-

.

So many friends are gone :-(

We hope they'll return to read

and play here again!

.

-- Tricia the Canuck (tricia_canuck@hotmail.com), June 01, 1999.

It _was_ a nice weekend. Spent time enjoying our new "rainwater catchment system".

By way of explanation here, DH has wanted a boat for about 10 years, decides this is the year to buy (despite my asking him to wait until next summer), buys 18 1/2 footer to pour money and gasoline into. I told him it was a nice boat and if stuff goes south next year, it will make an expensive rainwater catchment system.

So, in the meantime, we're catching a little fun. I still can't believe he picked a boat over a privacy fence and water barrels.

Linda

PS I love to read the fruitcake threads but don't often post because I don't feel 'witty' enough. You guys and gals can run circles around me in the humor department. Thanks for putting up with me.

-- newbiebutnodummy (Linda@home.com), June 01, 1999.

LOL, Linda.

Actually, this past weekend, began to think the term "witless" was a better fit.

;-D

But now that Rob's done marching and guzzeling, perhaps he'll "wit" us into shape again. Or not.

Diane

(Waving at Tricia & the witlessly wandering stealth geese).

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), June 01, 1999.

Beavers on the lake,

at night come onshore to eat,

Mrs. Michaels tree.

(here we go again!!!!)

-----------------------------

Sunrise brings Osprey,

diving down on golden trout,

then up to their nests.

Ok. Enough Haikus for now. My only post during a long day. Time for sleep. Goodnight fellow FRLians.

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@com.net), June 01, 1999.

uh oh, dear Michaels, not again! But this time wasn't it a less exotic tree? Next time a silk fako ;^)

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), June 02, 1999.

As the mist on the lake does rise, I look down with no surprise, and what do I see, a chewed sapling tree, there to greet my morning eyes.

It isn't where I planted it, it's by the water in a pit, the beavers got it out again, and tried to take it to thier den, Dear Mrs. Michaels will have a fit.

SO with a robe I go out side, and with a quick determined stride, to put the sapling back in its hole, and tie it back on its little pole, the evil doings for to hide.

Poor little sapling doesn't look right, as it stands there in the first light, it just looks all gnawed and chewed, thinking as I stand there and boo hoo, when SHE wakes up there will be a fight.

Mrs. Michaels now is awake, and her coffee she does take, then outside on the deck she comes, little tune on her lips she hums, until she sees me, the tree, and the rake.

She says "I want another sapling please, look what those beavers did to my trees", No, I say, they'll just eat anew, It's money wasted that I could spend on you She considers and smiles then goes back to sleep.

Go figure!

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@com.net), June 02, 1999.

You lucked out, boy!!

Chuck

-- Chuck, a night driver (rienzoo@en.com), June 02, 1999.

Rob, why would she blame you for what beavers did? Did you import the beavers? I think that there are tree 'protectors' that go around the base of saplings so that they can grow without harm, our city uses something like heavy-duty plastic-coated chicken wire attached to a pole beside the tree. If dear Mrs. Michaels decides you really have to try once more, something like that might do the trick.

.

Women confound men

They are so illogical!

Women or men? - Yes!

-- Tricia the Canuck (tricia_canuck@hotmail.com), June 02, 1999.

DiETer might have something to say about this ;^)

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), June 02, 1999.

Rob, you sweet talker, you! "It's money wasted that I could spend on you."

Now tell the truth, would you buy something she wants-flowers, candy, jewelry, TREES-or on something you think she needs-a skillet, Skil saw or tire pump? (Yes, these have been actual presents from my beloved to me.)

Now's the time to invest in some of that razor wire to go around your saplings; either that or haul in food for those busy beavers.

Linda

-- newbiebutnodummy (Linda@home.com), June 02, 1999.

Chuck: You arent kidding!

Tricia: You ask why she would blame me? Because. Yep, thats the reason all right. Because. Just because. Now how do you argue with logic like that? I dont even try! You have a good idea about the wire stuff but I dont know how she will react to it. Ill bring it up when she is in a good mood. Actually she has been in a good mood for quite a while, since she avenged herself on me for making an itty bitty mess in her kitchen. And then I got her them twolips without any lips that she liked so much. (The plants never did grow any lips at all. If you didnt tell me better I would of thought I got took). And I dont fancy having to post from the car anymore either!

Ashton & Leska: Perhaps DiETer will stop by and write a nice Haiku for us all, uh, if we promise to cut out the cannon talk.

Linda: Me a sweet talker? Nah. And I would not buy her anything usually, just give her money to buy what she likes. Seems to work best. Besides, how can you pick out a gift for anyone that thinks they have enough Duct Tape?

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@com.net), June 02, 1999.

A tire pump?

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), June 02, 1999.

Now, I can understand the Skill Saw - everybody needs a good skilled saw (or a handy beaver, which ever comes first) bu t a tire pump......if I gave a tire pump to my beloved I'd be a beleagured beleaved beloved.....unless it had a flower around the tired pump.....

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), June 02, 1999.

Mr. Cook-(ooh, that makes you sound _old_!)

The tire pump was to air up soccer balls for a team he was coaching. You know, 'every woman needs an air pump.'

Linda

-- newbiebutnodummy (Linda@home.com), June 02, 1999.

YoU PeoPLE ArE EViL incARNatE!!!!!!! laWYerS!!!!!! poLIticIAnS!!!!!!! spEAk NoT OF beAVErS, YoU TOxiC VEnOmOuS BEasTS!!!!!!

haIKu??????

saINTlY DieTer FROwnS

ANd ruBs THe sLeeP FRom HiS EyeS

aWAKENeD By foOLs

-- Dieter (questions@toask.com), June 02, 1999.

Spicy enough now, Chuck?

Linda, my husband got me a waffle iron/sandwich griller for my birthday once, because he felt like grilled cheese sandwiches. I don't like my sandwiches squished (which is how they come out with this machine), and I'd rather eat pancakes than waffles... He compounded his error by buying pots and pans for my birthday a few years later. This is the same guy that bought me 2 (two) bouquets in 20 (twenty) years of marriage, for the wedding ceremony and at the birth of our first daughter. Well, he has other, good points, too - yours too, I assume :-)

Dieter, how nice of you to drop by. I take it that the cannon ride went well?

Robert, what do you give your wife, duct tape?

.

Duct tape is like air

A total necessity

Just ask McGyver ;-)

-- Tricia the Canuck (tricia_canuck@hotmail.com), June 03, 1999.

Rob,

What don't beavers like? (i.e. shurbs) Then plant them around the tree.

Or... maybe... DUCT TAPE THE TREE!!!!

Diane

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), June 03, 1999.

<>

Plant the beavers? Won't that just grow more of them....

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), June 03, 1999.

Saintly DiETeR? Now that's rich! I gotta remember to get a good pair of boots! :-)

-- Gayla Dunbar (privacy@please.com), June 03, 1999.

Hey Dieter-been missing you. Glad you could come out to play.

Tricia-Yes, hubby has that endearing quality of loving me (and only me) no matter what, for the past 19 1/2 years.

Rob-I think your wife would probably like duct tape more if it was wrapped around her favorite flowers (in a bouquet, of course.)

Goodnight, all, been sick and gotta try to get some beauty sleep (may not be enough hours in the night for that!) Linda

-- newbiebutnodummy (Linda@home.com), June 03, 1999.

Time for restful sleep,

for newbiebutnodummy,

Sweet dreams while stars shine.

--------------------------------------

Robert, Good Sir: You can't plant beavers unless you have beaver seeds, and I can't find any nowhere nohow - tried all day too.

Dieter: StOp yOuR fOOlIShnEsS aNd GIve uS a hAIkU.

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@com.net), June 03, 1999.

Diane, Robert and Rob want to know how to plant beavers; I want to know what shurbs are and why beavers don't like them. Maybe I can give some to DieTeR so he'll post more haiku. (BTW, my most common problem with typing flu is to write my name Trivia - how apropos!)

.

There once was a newbie (not dummy),

Who had a big ache in her tummy -

Or was it her throat? -

She didn't say in her note,

But I hope she soon feels much more yummy!

.

There once was a pet troll named DiETer,

(You say that to rhyme well with Peter)

He often was gruff,

to fools even rough,

His aim was to be a forum weeder.

.

Typing flu about to strike, G"night!

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), June 04, 1999.

I was gonna hatch a haikui here

for the newbie's rain-collecting gear

but the words got too long

so I hadda say "so long"

and put the instructions in text to revere.

___

So anyway newbie - pull the drain plug from the end of the 18 foot rainwater collection system while leaving upper surfaces of rainwater collection cistern uncovered (ie, exposed to the vertically falling wet stuff) and let vertically falling frozen stuff colect an/or melt into lower regions of said 18 foot rainwater collection cistern.

With drain plug installed, 18 foot rainwater collecting system will accumulate vertically falling wet stuff (including leaves and wet cats - but that's another story) for temporary storage outside of primary domecile of rainwater collecting system male-type purchaser. With drain plug at lower (aft end) removed, wet stuff will drain out and be accessable for transportation into house for service water by nearest available rainwater collectiing system (male type) purchaser.

Surely the female-type observer of said collection and male transportation system would not deem it fit to carry the collected wet stuff, would she?

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), June 04, 1999.

Tricia-Here goes, just for you, my first haiku:

Coughing til I gag

now nose is too sore to blow

where's my cough syrup?

(now I'm embarassed!) Linda

-- newbiebutnodummy (Linda@home.com), June 04, 1999.

Robert-

I try not to say "I told you so" because that phrase can turn around and bite you in the rear end but if stuff goes south next year, you can be assured that it will _not_ be the female observer who carries water from the rain catchment system aforementioned. (But what a good idea about using the drain plug!)

Now if I end up buying more rain barrels, then I'll tote water myself unless I can coerce the kids into hauling for me. Maybe now's the time to practice the "mother as martyr" routine?

Linda

-- newbiebutnodummy (Linda@home.com), June 04, 1999.

Linda, practicing the martyr syndrome is the whole reason for colds like yours (very good first haiku!). Truly hope you're feeling much better, soonest!

Robert, have you ever heard "There's a hole in the bucket"? Belefonte and Odetta sing it on one of his Carnegie Hall recordings. I remember hearing it as a young child, and took to heart that if I want water hauled, I'd better be prepared to do it, or marry a man I could talk circles around (oops, I knew I'd missed a requirement when I got married!) ;-) BTW, have you ever heard someone talking Circles? Is it kinda like Greek? Does it make you dizzy listening to them?

-- Tricia the Canuck (tricia_canuck@hotmail.com), June 04, 1999.

FRL Alert Sighting...

About Y2K Preps & buried on the thread, in a stealthy fashion...

San Francisco Chronicle Writes 4 Preparedness & Y2K Grassroots Articles! (Amazable!!)

http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id= 000upy

``When I first heard about it, I was like this deer in the headlights. I became this fruitcake. I had to learn as much as I could about Y2K,'' she said with throaty laugh. ``So I downloaded information from the Internet and went to the copy store to make packets for anyone who would take them.''

Time for dinner! Night!

Diane

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), June 05, 1999.

ROTFL! Must have gotton holdof the FRL theads! Ha Ha HA ha.

Weeeeeeeeee!

Just got bcak from a partee and peel fritty good. U no, next flyday is the anniworseary of this here FRL. It willbe six months old. Ha ha. hicopu. `Weeeeeeeee. hahahahahhahahaha/. So I d=tink dat we should a;;ll celebate and plan somerhitng.

-- (ha@ha.ha), June 05, 1999.

Oh, anniversary, speech speech!
Or is that anniversary adversity? or adversary? Or enemanethema? Or time for more mudwrestling fights and canons? Lay down the canon? The themas? Is that when the animation pics started? Too tired to look up FC1.

Go Rob, Chief FRLian WamPam Freedom Fighter! We're ready for the entertainment ;^)

xxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxx xxxxxxx

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), June 06, 1999.

Hi Miss Tricia! I'm going to take some time off from the forum and work on my preps. (This place has gone CRAZY! I know when JBD comes out of retirement, it's time for a break!) :-) If any articles (like the 60 Minutes transcript) come out, or anything "earth shattering" happens, please let me know. You have my e-mail address. Thanks!! To all the other FRLians, Happy Anniversary!! I'll check back in a few weeks. (Hey, did you guys see Hardliner's limericks? It's been a long time!) :-)

-- Gayla Dunbar (privacy@please.com), June 06, 1999.

Gayla, we'll miss you, again! I'm not sure how much I'm going to be able to be here, either. I try to check in every day on FC and any really facinating looking threads, but gardening time is here, and I'm expecting to start working more hours. I'll keep in touch.

-- Tricia the Canuck (tricia_canuck@hotmail.com), June 06, 1999.

Thanks Tricia! I really appreciate it!

Forgot one thing before I go.... this is for Diane. (Can't let Mutha have all of the fun!) To write in color:

Basically this works the same way as making a link. You will use the less than and greater than symbols at the beginning and end. I will use "(" instead of "<" so it will show up.

(font color="blue") This can be just about any color you want. Just make sure to use the less than and greater than signs instead of the parentheses. Also, to turn it off, you can use (/font) or you can just put (font color="black") Have fun!!

-- Gayla Dunbar (privacy@please.com), June 06, 1999.

Attention FRLians

This Friday will be the six month annniverary of the FRL, at which time I shall deliver, or send out for, or perhaps you can pick it up, the semi-something-or-other State of the FRL Address. I will not be posting or lurking much since my regular (as well as my irregular) work schedule is particularly heavy this week. And besides, I really do need a lot of practice since I made a bit of a mess with the last speech. See you Friday night.

p.s. Thanks Leska and Ashton :)

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@com.net), June 07, 1999.

Rob, lest you or anyone feel lax about the FRLian mission, here is a jolting update:

[ For Educational Purposes Only ]

The Wall Street Journal, Tuesday, June 1, 1999

Financial Privacy in Peril, By Richard W. Rahn

What cause unites Christian conservatives, free-trade Democrats, small-business people, the American Civil Liberties Union and tax reformers?

Financial freedom and privacy.

The cause is being advanced in a series of legislative battles against big-government activists from both parties over the issues of encryption restrictions, asset forfeiture and, of most immediate concern, requirements that banks serve as agents of the state by monitoring the activities of their customers. The cornerstone of this last activity is the Bank Secrecy Act of 1970.

The BSA is, in fact, an antisecrecy act, because it requires bankers to spy on their customers by monitoring accounts for "suspicious activities."
Bankers who fail to comply with this requirement are subject to prosecution and fines. Since Congress enacted the BSA, the scope of the law and of the bureaucracy to enforce it has steadily grown, a textbook illustration of how failed government policies beget more failed policies and ever more government.

The latest attempt to enlarge the reach of the BSA occurred in December, when the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp. and the Treasury proposed "Know Your Customer" regulations that would have required banks to create customer profiles and report all activities that fell outside the "normal" transactions according to that profile. Originally, the BSA required only that banks monitor transactions above $10,000 -- which was lowered to $5,000 when the higher number proved to be ineffective in preventing money laundering and other financial crimes -- and to report activities that the bankers themselves deemed suspicious. The proposed new regulations would have required all transactions to be monitored, no matter how small.

News of the Know Your Customer proposal circulated on the Internet and in print; e-mail comments, which the FDIC had solicited, came pouring in.
The result: Some 254,000 people came out against the regulations, while only 72 people favored them. The planned regulations were quickly withdrawn, but the administration plans to issue new ones.

For years the BSA has had strong support in Congress. But now it seems that's changing. Reps. Ron Paul (R., Texas) and Tom Campbell (R., Calif.) have introduced legislation that would repeal the BSA and give people the right to check and challenge government records. The legislation is rapidly gaining cosponsors on both sides of the aisle.

Just as important, a growing number of law-enforcement organizations have recognized that the BSA has not been effective. Between 1987 and 1996, banks filed more than 77 million Currency Transaction Reports with the Treasury. This deluge of paperwork resulted in a mere 580 convictions. As Rep. Paul noted, "More than 99.999% of those [who] had their privacy invaded were law-abiding citizens going about their own personal financial business." The total private- and public-sector costs have been tens of millions of dollars per conviction, many times what Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr has spent per conviction in his allegedly extravagant investigation.

Moreover, the new digital technologies now coming into widespread use mean that no matter how assiduously the BSA and related provisions are enforced, money laundering and other financial crimes will be even more difficult to detect. Law-enforcement officials are nervously surveying a host of devices that will make their jobs more difficult, particularly easy-to-use, practically unbreakable encryption systems. These technologies are coming together in ways that will allow people to move money and financial assets instantaneously to almost any point on the globe without the knowledge of any government.

Many in government wish to squelch these developments, either because they fear the loss of their own roles as economic gatekeepers, or because they genuinely believe that the new technologies will make life easier for drug dealers, money launderers and other assorted criminals. To be sure, these technologies do make a criminal's life easier -- as do the telephone and automobile. Yet it is also true that the digital age has given law enforcement many more tools to observe and detect criminal activity. Law-enforcement officials must learn to adapt new technologies to their purposes, rather than outlaw them in the futile hope that they will simply go away.

As the digital revolution takes hold, laws that were written for another era will become increasingly difficult to enforce. Americans can choose either to jettison these laws and take advantage of new technologies and the opportunities they create, or keep the laws and pay the price in economic inefficiency, technological backwardness and government intrusiveness.

The immediate fate of the BSA will be a good indication of the direction we eventually take.
-------------
Mr. Rahn is chairman of Novecon Financial, a senior fellow at the Discovery Institute and author of "The End of Money and the Struggle for Financial Privacy" (Discovery Institute Press, 1999).

----------------------------------------------------------------

xxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), June 07, 1999.

Good work, A&L! It's nice to know that although the BORED hasn't given up and gone away, there are still powerful ppl on the side of the FRL. BTW, I got "Chant IV, Millenium" from the library and am enjoying it immensely - thanks again for your list!

Rob, I'm looking forward to reading your speech. I, too, may not be around a bunch this week. My grandmother-in-law is in failing health (and almost 90 years old), so I'm kinda expecting to have to take another few days trip. You know, this Y2K prep thing would be a whole lot easier if I didn't have to deal with life as it happens, too! (Sorta like you and the work thing vs following the forum, right?)

So, Diane, Ashton, Leska, Linda, et al - we leave this thread to your tender care. Don't forget to write some poetry now and then.

.

Here's the haiku torch

Carry it by writing some

Then you pass it on.

.

(Or get Unc to come back :-))

-- Tricia the Canuck (tricia_canuck@hotmail.com), June 08, 1999.

Good News! I just heard this morning that although the surgeon did indeed miss what he was aiming for on my biopsy, the shadow remains unchanged from December, and is therefore very unlikely to be cancer. I have to have a recheck in 6 months, but the outlook is very hopeful.

Thank-you to all of you who expressed your concern, your support has been much appreciated.

-- Tricia the Canuck (tricia_canuck@hotmail.com), June 09, 1999.

Tricia

What's this about a biopsy? I've read nothing so am in the dark (not an unusual situation for me, I'm afraid!) Anyway, glad to hear positive news from the doc.

Linda

There once was a Canuckian named Tricia, (always thought her name sounded delicious,) Her biopsy was fine, so until the next time, the doc said, "we'll have to dismiss ya."

-- newbiebutnodummy (Linda@home.com), June 09, 1999.

Brightly the birds sing

The sky is a deeper blue

Fare thee well, Canuck

-- Unc D (unkeed@yahoo.com), June 09, 1999.

Poetry, for me? I'm touched.

And not only in the head!

Linda, I mentioned the biopsy in FC1, I think. I ranted about it, as I recall. Like Y2K, it mostly didn't feel real (or maybe I'm alone in the feeling re: Y2K).

.

Life runs on quickly

Swirling eddies outlining

Blockages in flow.

.

Surprise, waterfalls!

Chaotic insanity!

Flow then resumes.

.

Roar heard by many

Heeded by just a few

White water ahead.

-- Tricia the Canuck (tricia_canuck@hotmail.com), June 10, 1999.

Unc D: Oh Great Teacher of Limerick and Haiku, you always were the best, and you are still the best.

Hi Tricia. Great news! BTW, your latest Haiku's were wonderful. Really wonderful.

FRLians: I will post the State of FRL speech tonight instead of tomorrow since I have some time now. No Forum time after this until Sunday night... maybe.

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@com.net), June 10, 1999.

Hear ye, Hear ye, the FRL will now come to order.

(cyber gavel - hush)

Friends, Lurkers, FRLian's, lend me your monitors. (Yes, you too Dieter!) It is my solemn and sworn duty, and indeed a great privilege, to deliver this, The Second State of the FRL address, to you.

Three threads and 900 answers ago, our fore-fathers, or fore-mothers, or fore-whoevers began the Quest for the prefect Y2K food. In the beginning, we had ingredients. It was quickly said;

Let there be fruitcake,

And there was fruitcake,

And it was good.

The Fruitcake Resistance League (FRL) was born, six months ago today, as we banded together to resist the terrible plots of the Fruitcake Reserve Bored (FRB), which is the very personification of anonymous evil  the en, ene, enem, enemy.

We can be proud that FRLians helped to de-feet, or de-claw, or de-arm the enemys Know Your Fruitcake iniquitous proposal. Yet, just as I said in the first address, that was the main battle we won, not the whole war. We must remain continually vigilant and watchful to ensure that whatever new insidious plots the FRB hatches are also defeated. Our FRLian job is not done. We must remain in the vanguard against the fiat fruitcake movement and other potential usurpations of our Fruitcakian Freedoms.

Our first six months also saw many other accomplishments besides winning the main battle against the KYF proposal. We FRLians soon realized the value of our fruitcake as a weapon to stockpile and defend ourselves. Some of these weapons were first employed during the three day war between Gayla and Chris. That was a very rough period for us all, yet in the end it made us all stronger in our bond of FRLianness. We are proud to have taken fruitcakian weaponry to new levels. This will help us to maintain our Fruitcake Freedoms in the future. Our FRLs Weapons of Fruitcake Destruction (WFD) and stealth assets were so successful that we were asked to provide security to the Forum Circuses, which we did in an exemplary fashion. We ran Operations when required to further our cause, including Operation FLYLEAF, which helped win the main battle against the KYF proposal, and Operation PDOW to rescue the Prisoner Ducky of War. Yes, my fellow FRLians, we have much to be proud of.

Sadly, we did have one casualty: Willy the Groundhog. Alas, if only he did not eat that liquor-soaked fruitcake. I am sure that many of us remember poor Willy in his little coffin: eyes covered with pennies, paws crossed and clutching a carrot, peaceful in his eternal rest. Let us have a moment of dimness (on your monitor) to remember him now.

Today the FRL is six months young. Willy would certainly be proud. We have a lot to look forward to, and backwards to, and even sideways to. Let us be happy now and celebrate our hard-won Fruitcakian Freedoms. Much has been done, and much remains to be done. We have welcomed all newbies who came to us, and look forward to more joining us in our constant quest to protect our Freedoms. Together we stand, fight, and write Limericks and Haikus. Our common destiny and spirit remains unquenchable. It is my great pleasure to report that the State of our FRL is Sound.

Happy Anniversary FRLians.

Long Live our Fruitcake Freedoms.

We can now go back to being out of order. (cyber gavel)

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@com.net), June 10, 1999.

Sir Rob of the fruit-laden gavel:

I am moved to tears by the lovliness and solemnity of your speech. How I grieved when reminded of little Willie meeting his maker. Thank goodness he was laid to rest in such a honorable and befitting way.

Thank God, too, for the swift end to the Three Day Fruitcake War. I feared that a civil war would be the end of the great Fruitcake league but somehow we survived those flaming missiles of war to go toward a new day.

You have given us a beautiful speech to commemorate our first anniversary and I thank you.

Long live our Fruitcake Freedoms! Long live Sir Rob! Linda

-- newbiebutnodummy (Linda@home.com), June 10, 1999.

Hello! Popped in here when notified of Nabi's Banking post. Had to check the Fruitcake thread. :-) Happy Anniversary!

Speaking of the 3 day war... whatever happened to Chris (catsy.pond)? She must have made the move to Canuckiana?? Tricia, you keep up with her, don't you? Is she still in the US, or in Canada? Maybe she is posting under a different handle? Oh well, back to preps....

PS- the solar powered motion detector light finally came and works great!! :-)

-- Gayla Dunbar (privacy@please.com), June 11, 1999.

Happy anniversary, FRLians!

Nice speech, Rob. Definitively tear-jerker material ;-)

Gayla, Chris seems to be lurking. I've seen posts that sound like her, but she isn't posting much nor under her own name. I tried to persuade her to return to FC, but no luck so far.

.

Six months we have fought

the terrible fruitcake BORED

Keep winning battles!

-- Tricia the Canuck (tricia_canuck@hotmail.com), June 11, 1999.

".... report that the State of our FRL is Sound."

But my PC is still quiet - why don't I hear nothing at all? No sound? Or no silence? If there were no silence in the words, could a man hear himself think if there were no ladies around? If there no sounds in the woulds, what does a woman listen in the woods?

Hmmmmn ... am I to noisy two listen too the sounds of silence twice? Wood I get beat up about the head and shoulders if I continue to question the silence of a woman ?

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), June 12, 1999.

tiREd oF SIlenCE dId diETER heAR???????? tOO baD SayS THe diETER, wHO Is awAKEneD Bzy foOLs daILy!!!!!!!!

eNDInG Of silENcE COMMandS DIeTeR!!!!!!!!!

-- Dieter (questions@toask.com), June 12, 1999.

Robert, Good Sir, as if casting dispersions on the womanfolk was not enough, now you have gone and awakened saintly Dieter.

"Hello darkness my old friend..."

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@com.net), June 12, 1999.

Finally reading the FRL newz...

Thanks Gayla! Have a great time-out!

And...

Tricia... You too, clean bill of health-ier her! < font color="black">

For Rob, the great FRLian...

Huzzah, huzzah, huzzah!

Just what i needed to reed before beddytime! Especially tonight!

Diane

(So, wheres a color list?)

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), June 12, 1999.

What a bunch of fonts.

Jerry

-- Jerry B (skeptic76@erols.com), June 21, 1999.

He did it! Recused by the Jerry person. Or is that ...

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), June 21, 1999.

I am ROTFL!!!!!!! Thanks, Jerry! You found out like I did that every time I put (/font) it would come up with something new! :-) Even when you put 10 of them it didn't fix it. For those of you who don't look at source code, on that last post, Jerry put in about 100 of them. Problem solved! LOL!!!

-- Gayla Dunbar (privacy@please.com), June 21, 1999.

YAY! Back to normal. I don't know if I'll ever dare play with fonts again. But Gayla, how do you access source code?

-- Tricia the Canuck (tricia_canuck@hotmail.com), June 21, 1999.

First, I would like to make a public apology to Mr. Cook. His marbles and insanity are still intact. :-) He zipped up a portion of this file and sent it to me, and by golly, his posting really WAS in huge red letters!! I use Internet Explorer on my computer, and everything looked normal to me.

Second, for Ms. Tricia, on Internet Explorer you have a "View" option at the top of your screen. If you click on it, you can choose "Source." It will show you the HTML code that has been used on that thread. Just one word of caution about viewing the source for THIS thread.... there are so many posts that you will have to open it in Notepad or something else. You might want to choose a thread with only a few answers in it to look at the code.

-- Gayla Dunbar (privacy@please.com), June 21, 1999.

Thanks, Gayla. I use Netscape and the view button works just fine. I wonder why you weren't getting bold while I was.

Robert, have you got the regular font now, too? Sorry I ever doubted your eyes. I thought it suspicious that only you and DieTEr were complaining about seeing red (and big). One letter per page must have made reading a challenge! Hope you're still with us.

.

Robert rarely posts

In limmerick or haiku

When he does, he's good!

.

Robert claims odd things..

He says haiku makes him sneeze

Gesunheit, Robert!

-- Tricia the Canuck (tricia_canuck@hotmail.com), June 22, 1999.

No more haiku blue,

Or socking red,

Relief... eyes cleared.

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), June 22, 1999.

I dunno, Diane. Socking reds are very useful for hand to hand combat - didn't you see Tom's post above? Might not want to get rid of them ;-)

.

There once were some threads called fruitcakes,

the subject range was odd, make no mistake.

There were fruitcakes, of course,

Beavers, cats and a horse,

Stealth geese, terns and ducks - even the drakes.

-- Tricia the Canuck (tricia_canuck@hotmail.com), June 22, 1999.

I'm sad! I missed this whole thing completely!:-(

Oh, well.

We shall have to find something else fun to do with html's.

(tee hee hee)

-- home from school (no@address.foryou), June 22, 1999.