I fear that Nabi is right - be careful what you wish for...
Along the same lines as Andrew's post... warning, this is long - but
worth the read...
"The War On Individuality
Comes Home - Littleton
Shootings Predictable"
James Neff
webmaster@sightings.com
4-23-99
When I was in high school... when we all were in high school... there
was a sick, twisted system long ago established by which the gifted
-- those who by nature do not meld with the "Borg" of normative
society -- were trampled, humiliated and slowly beaten down
psychologically, and often times physically, until we fit the mold or
perished.
Some of you reading this were the instruments of that torment, and
you yourselves were guided and manipulated by peer pressures to do
so. Adapt or die. And some of you reading this are still struggling
with well disguised and hidden scars from those years. Adapt or die.
Others... sloughed it off, burying it deep in the subconscious.
Adapt or die.
But some are not with us anymore. They dropped a load of sleeping
pills to escape it; they pulled the trigger on Dad's 12 gauge in the
garage seeking that perfect sleep; they wandered off in a fugue state
never to be seen or heard from again. All the while the conformers,
the normals, the happy-go-lucky cogs of the great Borg went on
morally blind to the incredible tragedy surrounding them and in which
they blindly -- or knowingly -- participated. No body count.
For me, that horrible period of life was more than 20 years ago. It
was absolute hell then. It must be a sheer spiritual apocalypse on
the soul of teens today, as things have distinctly gone from bad to
worse. It has become hopeless and depraved, sending a veritable few
over the edge to grasp hard steel and cock back shotguns to make it
come to an end. An end to the system of pain, and as we've seen in
Littleton, and end to themselves as well.
What we are seeing in Littleton, Colorado, and in the past 10 years
in various other schools around the nation, is literally war. The
geeks, the weirdos, the nerds, the outcast, the troubled-gifted, the
challenged and the general "breakfast club" is no longer comfortable
with crumbling into a million pieces and dissolving into the
background to appease the accepted and normative jocks, 'socies' and
picture perfect all-American jackasses soon to be our future
political jackasses; afflicted of soul and body for the rest of their
lives, the outcasts are fighting back. They have declared war on the
normals and it's a real war, with real blood and real guns. Its a
unique kink in the process of social evolution (or de-evolution), in
a sense. Just so many decades of this can go on before the free
radical stops bouncing around and starts attacking and creating a
cancer that eventually kills the host.
The question is, is it deserved? That is not to say did any of these
young people in Littleton deserve to die, but rather: Is this war,
this 'rage against the machine' deserved?
I say yes. It has been a long time coming. It is much deserved. Not
the deaths, not the tragedy. It's horrific that it has come to this!
I have nothing but pity and sorrow for the victims and their
families. But on a raw-truth level, this sort of lashing out is
utterly predictable and sustained by a system even those parents
participate in, regarding it as "normal" and "good." We reap what we
sow. And I truly wonder how many of the people closely involved with
this debacle have any clue how much they themselves feed the beast.
They feed it when they hand their kid a charge card and tell them to
go forth and reflect what the many varied cliques demand in clothing,
in music, in style. They feed it when they buy into this disturbed
system that creates a hierarchy of acceptability and conformity, and
in turn demonstrate to their children that the 'way things are' is
good... right... the 'way it should be' because it has always been
that way.
I've heard it so many times it makes me want to puke. "Well it was
good enough for me," says the parent from the previous generation,
who sloughs off this issue entirely, "and I turned out okay."
Okay?????
No. Wrong. You turned out completely screwed up! If this is your
perspective, you're part of the machine and have been. You were
'absorbed.' You traded your soul for a piece of the American pie,
sold your birthright for a meal, chose conformity for the sake of an
easy glide, and now you can't see, can't hear, can't think for
yourself in the slightest. Its an easy road this way. Count the
costs. And the same old excuses live on...
"It's my job."
"I was just following orders."
"Well, I survived it."
"What's wrong with the kids these days?"
What wrong with them is YOU.
It's all filtered for you and through you. Living outside of this
system requires daily fortitude and spiritual upkeep. It is
sacrificial. It is HARDER to live outside the system, where truth can
really be truth and lies are exposed, no matter what the cost,
ridicule, chastisement from the "world" at large. And most don't want
to sacrifice. So they don't. They join up. It's very subtle. It's
gradual. But its all consuming. And then, you're gone. The great dark-
backward has had its way with you and what's left is not a rock's
throw from 'Stepford,' repackaged for a new era so the seams don't
show. And the beauty part is, you don't recognize it. They took your
ability to recognize it ages ago. You gave it to them.
Wake up, sleeper.
This is the hideous, sinking, perpetuating gearworks of the system,
designed to keep the sparks of imaginative, creative, unique life-
force to an absolute minimum and populate the great gorge of culture
with a vast throng of media-manipulated, perfectly possessed and
automatonically controlled 'bots' who guarantee the survival of THE
SYSTEM into the next generation! It trashes people who are going to
create new people to trash, a cyclic, patterned process. Where and
when will it end? It ended in Littleton, in a blaze of blood and
bombs when two (possibly more, this story is far from over!) young
boys decided "that was it... no more pain", no more being crushed and
ground down to a pulp. Time for the crushing and grinding to reverse.
Is anyone really shocked? Yes. The normals are stunned and shaking in
their boots. They can't rationalize it because they gave up real
rationalization many, many years ago.
Johnny Rotten of the Sex Pistols in my time was singing, "Anger is an
energy!" and "I am an Anarchist, I am an Antichrist!" as a powerful
downbeat on a podium for change, a throbbing mantra echoing out to
all the disenfranchised, neglected, trampled kids. The gleam in his
eyes across that broken, tormented face was intense, hypnotic and
resonating. Generation X now has the blood of Nirvana's Kurt Kobain
for a psychic ritual baptism, and the rites of passage are piercings,
scarifications and tattoos declaring their divorce from the system.
Hurt yourself before THEY hurt you.. and it won't hurt anymore.
Control the hurt. Control pain. This is the solution when you're out
numbered and know you cannot control the system. Sadly, they simply
joined the 'other' well-crafted, perfectly controlled and manipulated
hand of a multi-armed cultural diety. They have escaped nothing. When
the wiles of youth wear off, the scars and holes and markings will be
there to forever remind them of what happened. A stigmata of the
machine. We have yet to see the end result of this particular schism
in society. Brace yourselves for this one to explode.
In Littleton, that control took another course, however. It didn't
parcel itself into thrashing guitars and strobes and acid house and
now well established alternative-scene self-therapy (I hope everyone
reading this realizes that that is precisely what we're seeing in the
X generation and the music world now... ad-hoc, self-generated
therapy for dealing with the madness of this culture and society.
When you look at it, realize this fact. They are having to do it
themselves, because no one else is going to do it for them. No one
gives a damn. And it beats killing people, no?). It broke out with
gritted teeth; with Network's prophetic "I'm mad as hell, and I'm not
going to take it anymore!" into the hard reality we now hardly make
contact with today, thanks to the glitz and glimmer of cathode-ray
visions and videodrome-like fantasy worlds which we've adopted into
our lifestyles without any thought to its power over us. For the
mature and rational, these things are not a danger. They can be
simple entertainment. For the rest of the populace... they are simply
elements of mind control. The New World Order is succeeding in its
design to twist us and shape us as it sees fit. And if that sounds
like paranoid madness to you, then you're already dead. Another one
for the pile.
They don't train police officers and airline pilots using simulators
for nothing! The idea is to wrap that virtual reality around the
subjects' skull until he or she is perfectly programmed to respond to
the situation given. Taking the abnormal situation and making it
normative, as though fully experienced and logged to the memory; this
is the very design. These kids in Littleton have grown up with their
sensory mechanism entirely dominated by a programmable emotional
matrix. From the music to the movies to the video games, they have
been slowly "implanted" with very powerful, ultra-realistic impulse
driven scenarios. Substitute jocks and socies for zombies and enemy
space craft. Plastic reality. Plastic morality. Bang bang.. zap...
kill 'em all an let God sort 'em out. Training ground for the
mentally ill.
And heightening this mind control is a diet of absolute trash,
speeding up the system with Jolt and Surge cola caffeine bombs,
maltodextrins and complex sugars and God only knows what else, from
habit forming molecular stimulants like excitotoxins to appetite
triggers and flavor enhancers as well-crafted in the laboratory as
any pharmaceutical dispensed by a physician. A multi-million dollar
industry thrives on the casual addictions of our mouthes.. our
ears... our minds. A society completely drugged, bugged and
programmed.
It's going to happen again, folks. Again and again. The blood is
going to flow as high as a horses bridle eventually. Are we going to
wake up from this catatonic nightmare and put a stop to it? Or will
we simply nod, fold our hands and submit to the NWO and everything it
has designed for us? Its not just the kids in school, this effects
EVERYTHING. Will we keep believing that NATO is stepping in to stop
'ethnic cleansing' like a knight on a white horse, while it bombs the
hell out of northern Serbia, and Belgrade, all the while the REAL
battle is 150 miles south where the KLA is desperately trying to fend
off Milsovic's Serbian-nazi forces? Not a single bomb has been
dropped to aid the rebels. Not one. Will we continue to listen to
psychotics in government, backed by billionaires and corporations,
propping up one cloned leader after another?
Recently a massively popular hit song was spawned from a newspaper
columnists' "good" advice, beginning with sunscreen and roaming
through a dozen other categories. It's the first thing I've seen in
alternative culture media that had any merit whatsoever. But it
didn't go far enough.
Well, in light of recent events, I have my own:
Trust me on this... Homeschool your kids. It's worth making less
money for one of you to stay home and deal with it. Sacrifice the
commercialized lifestyle you think you should be living for honor and
dignity and truth. That's really living. You don't need that new DVD
system, you need to spend time with your kid and show them that you
love them. Teach them. Discipline them. He or she doesn't need to see
what's on the DVD disc anyway. Throw it away. Stop eating crap. Stop
eating it with your eyes, your ears, your mouth and your soul. Stop
listening to the system, from either side... it's all lies and
deceit. Read 1984 again. It's time. Pay attention to the lyrics of
the songs your kids are listening to. Watch the movies they watch.
Turn off. Tune out. Drop In. Get Real. Stop lying to yourself that
you went through it too and it's just a phase. It's not a phase, it's
a phaser, and it is set to stun first and kill second. Don't believe
everything you read, but read more. Read what THEY tell you not to
read. Instead of TV, watch reality. It might surprise you what goes
on out there. Watch your kids. Closely. But most of all, trust me on
this... homeschool your children. Don't give them over to the
machine. They're too precious.
Addendum
U.S. President Bill Clinton used his weekly radio address today to
talk about
the Littleton killings. Clinton said Americans should use the tragedy
to end the
"culture of violence" and he asked Congress to pass two pieces of
legislation
that will tighten guns laws. (excerpt from
http://www.sightings.com/politics2/viscious.htm )
-- What? Tighten GUN LAWS? Guns are not the problem here, and Clinton
knows it. How many people in school who did not fit the mold did Mr.
Bill crush and gring under his ultra-achiever ladder climbing boots?
Culture of Violence?? That culture is merely a reflection of emotions
deeply rooted in the true problem.
A nauseating attempt by the President to whitewash the situation ---
On the day following this piece, the email is running squarely in
support of this viewpoint with dozens and dozens of comments from
people who relate to the pressures, abuse and torment these two boys
experienced, having experienced it themselves, bringing the situation
in Littleton to this tragic end. Only one dissenting email has
arrived, thus far. In several IRC (Internet Relay Chat) channels on
US.UNDERNET last night, I noticed the general sentiments of IRCers
was also dramatically focused on the blame being shared by the
students who pushed these two kids to this extreme. You can just beat
a dog so many times before it bites back. This is NOT the sentiment
or viewpoint one will find reflected in the slightest in the national
media, and especially in the grotesque round-the-clock coverage
provided by cable news channels like MSNBC.
A few emails have suggested that government mind control is involved.
It is certainly not beyond my scope of belief to exclude that
distinct possibility. When I say "New World Order" that of course
includes the blackest, darkest possible scenarios and conspiracies.
There are those that simply refuse to look squarely at the evidence
regarding government conspiracy down through history, and for these
people, who refuse to enlighten themselves to the facts and will not
take the time to unmask the bellowing wizard to know the truth about
the man behind the curtain... there is no hope. But for those who
have been enlightened, who have forced a hand through the veil and
discovered there is more here than meets the eye, kudos! You're on
the road, you're aware, awake and that puts the great and powerful
"them" in a position to work some serious overtime to construct a new
mask fashioned just for you. And it will likely fail. You will see
with new eyes, hear with new ears. You will digest everything that
comes down the pike through a BS filter and survive this idiotic game.
Thanks to all the non-sleepers out there that took the time to email
support. You're the only reason the NWO isn't flying a flag of
complete victory!
- Neff
(often & erroneously called "Jeff".. but that's ok :) )
Comments
(Email Addresses On File)
Recieved: 4/24/99
Subject: FANTASTIC!!!
James:
Just finished reading your essay on "The War On Individuality...". I
am literally shaking with the power of it! You have so perfectly
verbalized what I've been saying and thinking and feeling for years.
And what a voice!
I remember hearing about the shooting on talk radio (we don't watch
TV anymore, and haven't since August 16 last year, when I was surfeit
with Komrade Klinton's lies) and thinking "Well, I can certainly
understand WHY they'd want to kill the jocks". My high-school
experiences were normative for any "geek", and I remember getting
beaten up more than once on school grounds in broad daylight by our
Hometown Heroes.
An event took place in the rural Nebraska town we live in not too
long ago. It perfectly fit the programming model you wrote about. It
was the annual "Orange and Black Banquet" (yup, the school's colors
here are Hallween colors...that gives me the willies!), a sports
banquet. No awards are presented, no talks or anything...it's just
this: the jocks get together, they're served the standard rubber
chicken banquet, and then they are marched into the auditorium and
the King and Queen of the year are crowned. That's it. When my wife
described the ceremony to me (one of her painfully socially conscious
co-workers had a kid participating in it), I recognised it
immediately for what it was: an initiation ceremony. It was a way of
intiating everyone to their place in the local social strata and
letting them know that, as long as they live here, they'll never rise
higher than they are now. Even as I write this I feel nauseated
again. You hit the nail right on the head, James...
Coincidentally (serendipitously?), my wife and I were talking about
individuality and living our lives by our own design last night. We
do things very differently than the "Collective" would have us
do...my wife is a doctor of pharmacy and works full-time outside the
home...I am a full-time parent to our daughter and am homeschooling
her. I was reminded, as she and I talked, about my sophomore year of
high school. I experienced an epiphany...I discovered Emerson's essay
"Self Reliance", and it literally changed my life, it showed me that
it was GOOD to rage against the machine, that I was RIGHT to be me.
It kept me alive through the rest of high school, in a very real way.
After our conversation last night, I went downstairs and got my
American Lit book and brought it up and re-read the essay this
morning. It was like re-discovering my soul...and so tonight I read
your excellent essay (which I've printed off several copies of...one
to keep for myself and several to hand out to fellow "resistance
fighters") and it was like an affirmation, a roaring wind with
tongues of flame. You deserve a medal...you've written a nearly
perfect manifesto for all the resistance, all of us freedom fighters
everywhere. And here I thought you were JUST an extremely talented
graphics artist...!
Peace
Subject: LOVED YOUR LITTLETON/CULTURAL ANALYSIS Date: Fri, 23
You did a great job with your piece on the school shootings. I
thought your take on the event really hit the mark. Keep up the good
work!!!
Subject: Great article
Trust me on this, we need more thinkers like you, willing to put
their thoughts out there, to stand up and be counted. Keep up the
good work, and great site.
Thanks,
Dave.
Subject: your essay on school shooting
James -- Your essay is very insightful. Thank you for writing it. I
wish it could be printed in a major media outlet like Newsweek or the
Washington Post.
Subject: conformity & an unusual book
Hello, James Neff:
Good article. I agree with you completely. The worst part, as I saw
it, was that if you are sufficiently different than other people--
say, substantially brighter--it is very hard to behave like one of
them. You just don't know where they are coming from, or what they're
going to do. Bright kids have a serious adaptation problem in our
society. Unless they are lucky enough to have supportive parents and
a good school, they're going to have a hellish time. .
I used to think that when I grew up I would turn into a normal
person. I thought that's what growing up meant. It took years and
years before I evaluated my diligent effort to become like other
people, and realized that _it should have worked by now_. Maybe there
was something wrong with the basic premise...
There's a book called "This Tree Grows Out of Hell," by Ptolemy
Tompkins. I think you would find it well worth reading. Tompkins
discusses the Aztec culture. I'd always wondered why they did all
those human sacrifices. IMHO Tompkins figured it out. He never once
compares that culture to ours, but we clearly have the same problem,
and we're doing something quite similar. There's a _reason_ for these
episodes of bizarre violence. And for their reflection in the popular
culture. This book completely changed the way I thought about us, our
culture and our devolution. --It's readable and short. Tompkins
doesn't pay me to promote his book.
Good wishes
Subject: Your article
First of all I am 40 years old, but I remember very well the hell of
being an outcast! But, your article blames it all on the parents!
Bullshit! I have a daughter that is into Marylin Manson and believes
it's alright to cut his name into your skin ! Because her friends are
doing it! She worries about her weight even though she's at what is
considered a perfect body weight. No I don't just ignore it! I've
had her in counseling, I refuse to medicate her into submission! And
I care so, is it my fault? It's easy to blame it on me! I've tried to
nurture a relationship since her birth! Her sister is the bipolar
opposite did I play favorites? No! Everyone it's seems today has all
the answers! But they're working. What I'm trying to say is when your
a teenager your friends become all important! These things have
happened in the past, they just weren't plastered all over the
media! Now I also wonder how tthat all this is NATO's Fault? We're
all responsible for today's problems. Take responsibility for your
own destiny! I had a rough childhood, but if you give up they win!
Today it's too easy to cop out and say it's MOM's fault, it's Dad's
fault, it's the NWO! Give me a break! I've been in the Air Force for
twenty years and believe me most experienced NCO's and Officers are
not war mongers. I don't like what's going on in Kosova or Iraq any
more than you! I believe Europe should handle it's own problems, and
we should offer moral support! Like Greece, if we minded are own
business more often we wouldn't have so many enemies! But this has
nothing to do with our children. The problem is kid's listen to
anyone that's sounds believeable at the time! The reason I'm writing
is my daughter read your article, she showed it to me as proof that
what happened in Colorado was not the gunmans fault! It was mine!
My Reply:
Ken,
I think maybe you missed the gyst of my piece. I'm asking parents --
since they are in the spotlight right now in the media as relates to
the slaughter in Littleton -- to look at themselves and question
thier own reality. Deeply. If your daughter thinks carving the name
of Marylin Manson into her flesh is anything OTHER than a reaction to
complete mind control put upon her by 1001 powerful influences bent
on the destruction of a generation... she's dead wrong. And you can
show her this email. But I ALSO want to make it clear, and do in the
article... we Moms and Dads are ALSO involved in this affliction of
culture. Where and how and why do we support the madness on the small
scale, or in ways we don't readily recognize as part of the problem.
No, I'm NOT blaming mom and dad. I'm REMINDING mom and dad that they
too are part of the problem, NO ONE is divorced from it. No one.
Additionallly, if you look at my piece, I'm make a pin point focus on
those who don't think they're part of the problem. When you bounce
back with feeling insulted and falsely accused, that's the time to
look harder and deeper. But I'm not isolating parents as the core
reason, and my piece states this clearly. Its the system, as a whole.
We're spoonfed this madness, all of us.
You're daughter is right about one thing, however. It's NOT the
gunmens fault. They are the FIRST victims. Their victims are the
second in line, and society is the third. Right now we're seeing
endless hours of weeping parents and kids on TV in Littleton. Among
the ones that did not lose a child, the bulk of them are crying
beause they cannot believe that the dog they've been beating for so
many years got angry and bit back, and that bite hurt like hell. Reap
and sow. It's a simple reality.
Im not saying the dog should bite! I'm saying don't be suprised when
it does. It's a wake up call, and it came in a horrible fray of blood
and destruction in this case. I have a kid. 13 yrs old. A girl. She's
homeschooled and STILL is influenced by the society around her, so I
know what you're saying. I know how hard it is to be doing everything
you know to do right, and they still go wandering off like idiotic
zombies to cult figures and absolute garbage and bad advice.
Blame isn't the issue. Getting people to analyze their lives IS.
James Neff
Subject: Columbine
James,
I really liked your article about the Columbine killings. I think it
was right on target. I hate seeing things like this in the news.
First there is the tragedy of the killings and then there is the
tragedy of the news coverage of the killings. The overpaid pretty
boys of the national media always miss the point by 180 degrees and
thus assure that the killings will continue. I have gotten to the
point where I cannot bear to listen to network news anymore. The
false anguished "hand wringing" and moralizing while all the while
they are supporting the very things that will continue tragedy after
tragedy after tragedy. It makes me sick.
Michael
Date: Sat, 24 Apr 1999 09:00:14 -0600 From: mumbob
MIME-Version: 1.0 To: webmaster@sightings.com Subject: Come Home 4-23-
99
James;
Much of what you wrote struck a deep chord with me. I know what your
talking about. >From 1969 through 1971, in junitor high and high
school, I was made to feel lower than dirt by jocks. Thirty years
later, my scars are still evident. Now forty-five, I hope it was not
the defining moment of my life, but given my track record since high
school (drug dependence and drifting from one intermittent job to the
next), I have my doubts. Even today, thinking about those experiences
makes my stomach churn and my blood boil. Rationally, there is
nothing I can do about what happenned to me then. Emotionally, not a
month goes by without myself drifing back to those days. When I heard
of the shooting at Littleton and of the possible motivations of the
two boys involved, my reaction was not one of blanket condemnation. I
wondered if they were psychically frozen, immobilized, made to feel
the awkwardness of adolescence a thousand times more than they should
of through a daily ritual of intimidation, public humiliation, or
worse. Like what's going in in Serbia, there's no excuse for the
actions of those two kids. They killed people who had no idea of what
they were going through. But just like I believe by it's actions NATO
is making a bad situation far worse, so the 'system' set in place in
Littleton and elsewhere in the US by administrators, teachers, and
parents is taking kids who just want to belong or at least not be
made into a group punching bag for 'socially acceptable kids' and
through a blind awareness of their actions (or lack of) turning them
into monsters. Thanks again for your Sightings postings. It made me
feel I'm not alone.
Bob
Subject: High School Shootings
Sorry to disagree with your viewpoint on these shootings but what
we're seeing here in all of these high school shootings is a product
of government mind control. Sounds outrageous I know, but our CIA has
all the technology and is more than capable of it. There are many
victims of mind control who are now speaking out and pleading with
people to listen. If you want to know the motivation for such a
program, look at the solutions being proposed. These shootings will
not stop until the public is disarmed.
http://www.mk.net/~mcf/ckln16.htm
Check out this web site to clue yourself in. It's worse than you
thought. Remember, if you are really interested in the truth, then
you must be willing to admit that everything you now believe may be
wrong...if you're really looking for the truth. Otherwise, you are
just looking for confirmation of what you already believe. Big
difference.
Rick
Subject: Littleton Shootings
Just finished reading your viewpoint on what the hell really happened
here. I have to agree with you, but not 100%. I would like to know
where the parents of these kids were-were they so blind they couldn't
see the signs? Or did they not give a damn about what their children
were going through? I also blame the teachers and the so-called
authority figures in these youths' lives. Aren't these the very
people who are supposed to watch out for and properly educate our
children? Are people so afraid to intervien, to lend a hand, a
shoulder, a refuge? When I was in school, I was also tormented.
However, I was lucky enough to have a couple of teachers to guide me,
to encourage me, to tell my tormentors how wrong they were for doing
what they were doing. I have taught my own children to fight back-but
to fight back responsibly. I have on the other hand taught them that
life is just too damn short to waste they're time and energy on
members of our great society that are walking through this life with
blinders on. My children have been taught that individuality is ok,
there is nothing wrong with expressing themselves, and to ignore the
stupidity that rules everyone elses lives. They're father does not
agree, and constantly challenges their decisions and veiwpoints-one
of the many reasons we got divorced. I refuse to live my life trying
to conform, to make society happy with me in order to be accepted. I
would rather die than be forced to live the same hatered these people
create. My children are ridiculed often for accepting and befriending
the outcasts in our town. They are not angry with their tormentors,
only sad for them. Sad that they obviously come from angry,
hatefilled homes. Sad that these same kids are only acting out what
they have been raised-sad that they will probably never be happy in
their lives-they will only live under the illusion of happiness. I
have raised my children with love and respect and acceptance. It
hasn't been hard, I don't consider it a chore to do so. Why is it so
hard for society as a whole to do the same?
thank you,
Lisa
Subject: WELL SAID, My Brother!!!
Very well said, I'm going to be 49 this year, and while there may be
no visible scars, the effects of the soul murdering from all those
years before continues -- Now, after 12 years clean and sober, a few
thousand AA meetings and as many years of heavy duty group therapy,
psychodrama, individual counseling , and occasional retreats, I am at
long last beginning to find out what it feels like to be comfortable
in my own skin -- But as HELLACIOUS as it's been, I would never trade
away the pain, loneliness and terrible despair in order to be a self
satisfied comfy member of the National Herd. I don't ever want to
forget any of that stuff -- I want to continue learning how to live
with it -- and to continue learning how to pass on to others whoWANT
it, a little of the incredible hope, and strange inner peace that CAN
be the priceless reward for surviving being adrift for 37 years on
the spiritually barren open seas of this poor crazed culture of ours.
May we look back but not stare -- one day at a
time...........................
God Bless you Neff, and God Bless every single last one of us,
Bill
Subject: Shootings
James,
I read you letter on the shooting. Well done. Your talents are
endless. The truth will one day be known to all. There is order
behind all the chaos.
Greg
Subject: Littleton web page article
Your article echoed many of my feelings, very well written, well
thought out. High school for me was also about 20 years ago and I
hated every minute of it,for many of the reasons you stated. In my
own way, I rebelled against the 'programming' and still do, the best
I can. I am trying to show my kids that even the news is not THE
TRUTH. And when I do hear 'news' on national media, I try to descern
between what is really true and the progammed national 'spin' that
they want to brainwash us into. Like you, I certainly can't condone
what the students in Littleton did, but I CAN understand why. I also
wasn't all that suprised by the incident in Littleton. Thanks for
writing & posting the article. It was one of the best pieces I've
read in along time.
Dan
Subject: On your letter about the suicide of the gifted
I enjoyed this letter very much. I think a lot of us do relate to
this and just wanted to you to know.
Thanks Dana
Subject: The War on Individuality
I am deeply moved by your article mentioned above. I am writing from
New Zealand, small country, but I am certain we also are advancing
towards the big nations' examples. I hope many will turn the clock
back and reconsider where all this faked "progress" is taking us. I
am trying hard to remain out of the "normal", today it is the
"abnormal" who has the answers!
Best wishes
Elsa
-- Andy (2000EOD@prodigy.net), April 26, 1999.
