Computer Analyst Unable To Fashion Crude Tools, Grind Wheat

SEATTLE--According to reports, computer analyst Isaac Glenn, who earns $120,000 a year organizing and upgrading computer networks, does not know how to fashion crude tools or grind wheat. "I guess to grind wheat, you'd probably cut it off the stalk and then maybe use some kind of crushing device to mash it until it's powder," Glenn said. "I don't really know what you'd do with it then. Maybe cook it, I guess." Glenn added that network administrators should use jacketed, certified cat-5 cable and keep runs perpendicular to electrical lines to prevent data integrity problems in 100BaseT networks.

http://www.theonion.com/onion3515/index_3515.html

-- Isetta (do_not_reply_@hotmail.com), April 21, 1999

Answers

Man. I bet his bugout bag is a mess too.

-- a (a@a.a), April 21, 1999.

And it seems to be getting harder to separate the wheat from the chaff, too. . . .

-- Don Florence (dflorence@zianet.com), April 22, 1999.

Surely, you all realize the Onion is a weekly news parody? Although the point is well taken as are many others made by The Onion.

-- theresa (onionlover@onion.com), April 22, 1999.

The point is well taken? What the hell is the point?

Does this convey the same point?

News Flash: Amish farmer does not know how to install network cabling.

-- Doomslayer (1@2.3), April 22, 1999.

"Doomslayer" wrote:

>News Flash: Amish farmer does not know how to install network cabling.

If this is true, then I don't know how they will survive in the 21st century.

I'm sure the market for their furniture will dry up because everyone is buying that "new" inflatable furniture from IKEA.

-- Isetta (do_not_reply_@hotmail.com), April 22, 1999.