Declan McCullagh sent this around to his POLITECH list.

Stunningly worth a read and Im not sure how to confirm!

Ideas?

Diane

WASHINGTON, DC--In a historic decision with major implications for the future of U.S. participatory democracy, the Supreme Court ruled 8-1 Monday that the American people are unfit to govern.

The controversial decision, the first of its kind in the 210-year history of U.S. representative government, was, according to Justice David Souter, "a response to the clear, demonstrable incompetence and indifference of the current U.S. citizenry in matters concerning the operation of this nation's government." ...

http://www.theonion.com/onion3514/unfit_to_govern.html

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), April 14, 1999

Answers

I can only pray that these quotes and statements are fabricated and false. If this is true, then the constitution and freedem as we once knew it is absolute toast. Please continue to dig deeper on this issue Diane. It does suprise me that they would make such statements prior to a "national disaster" such as Y2K. Why political clouds ahead are getting very dark.

-- trafficjam (judgement@day.ahead), April 14, 1999.

Havent found a Supreme Court website yet. Just some links to info ...

UNITED STATES SUPREME COURT LINKS -- Rominger Legal

http:// www.romingerlegal.com/supreme.htm

Cornell Law School Supreme Court Collection

http:// supct.law.cornell.edu/supct/

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), April 14, 1999.

What exactly is the "Onion?" Didn't they miss the April 1st deadline with this story?

-- Brett (savvydad@aol.com), April 14, 1999.

What surprises me is The Onion has a good reputation, I believe.

So I can't discount the story.

Digging. (Kevin need help!)

Diane

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), April 14, 1999.

Oh, boy, here we go... The darkness cometh... I sure hope this is wrong!! :(

-- Crono (Crono@timesend.com), April 14, 1999.

The onion is a satirist outfit.......

-- Lisa (lisa@work.now), April 14, 1999.

Isn't the Onion the funny spoof news site?

-- Leska (allaha@earthlink.net), April 14, 1999.

You guys!!! The Onion is a satire web site! It ain't for real.....it's a joke....get it? LoL!

-- Bobbi (bobbia@slic.com), April 14, 1999.

It is? good!! I'm glad!! :) :)

-- Crono (Crono@timesend.com), April 14, 1999.

Huh? The Onion? You mean the one with the following stories:

"Listener Consumed By Spittle On Corner Of Mouth"

"Efforts Of World's 16 Billion Chickens Still Not Adding Up To Much"

It's satire.

Hey, maybe WorldNet Daily can use that excuse....

-- Hoffmeister (hoff_meister@my-dejanews.com), April 14, 1999.

Come on guys, doesn't the following sound awfully familiar:

[snip]

The lone dissenting vote came from Justice Anthony Kennedy, who, in his minority opinion wrote, "Although the American people are clearly unable to make responsible decisions at this time, it is not their fault that they are so uninformed. Rather, the blame lies with the media interests and corporate powers that intentionally keep them in the dark on crucial issues." Kennedy concluded his opinion by tendering his immediate resignation and announcing his intent "to move to a small island somewhere."

[snip]

Makes sense to me that Rehnquist, recently pissed off by what he had to endure during the impeachment hearings, is taking it out on the electorate. Afterall, aren't the boneheads in Congress just the symptom?

-- Brooks (brooksbie@hotmail.com), April 14, 1999.

Based on the last two presidential elections, I can't see why we need the supreme court to tell us this. There's a joke here somewhere alright.

Carry on

eyes_open

-- eyes_open (best@wishes.net), April 14, 1999.

Come on guys. The Onion is a satirist paper. They provide layer upon layer (like an onion) of news that brings a smile to the pile.

-- Bob Dobbler (concierge@area51.gov), April 14, 1999.

I have seen and heard alot but this takes the cake --fruitcake that is. Who makes, bakes, eats or saves fruitcake? Not me!

-- old gramma (gotitincalif@webtv.net), April 14, 1999.

Obviously satire! (Or TEOTWAWKI). Hers the whole "story". Its a joke! )Im not laughing, though). WASHINGTON, DC--In a historic decision with major implications for the future of U.S. participatory democracy, the Supreme Court ruled 8-1 Monday that the American people are unfit to govern.

The controversial decision, the first of its kind in the 210-year history of U.S. representative government, was, according to Justice David Souter, "a response to the clear, demonstrable incompetence and indifference of the current U.S. citizenry in matters concerning the operation of this nation's government."

As a result of the ruling, the American people will no longer retain the power to choose their own federal, state and local officials or vote on matters of concern to the public.

"This decision was by no means easy, but it unfortunately had to be done," said Justice Antonin Scalia, who penned the majority decision in the case. "The U.S. Constitution is very clear: In the event that the voting public becomes incapacitated or otherwise unfit to carry out its duties of self-governance, there is a danger posed to the republic, and the judicial branch is empowered to remove said public and replace it with a populace more qualified to lead."

"In light of their unmitigated apathy toward issues of import to the nation's welfare and their inability to grasp even the most basic principles upon which participatory democracy is built, we found no choice but to rule the American people unfit to govern at this time," Scalia concluded.

The controversial ruling, court members stressed, is not intended as a slight against the character of the American people, but merely a necessary measure for the public good.

"The public's right to the best possible representation is a founding principle of our nation," Justice Sandra Day O'Connor told reporters. "If you were on a jet airliner, you wouldn't want an untrained, incompetent pilot at the controls, and this is the same thing. As federal justices, we have taken a solemn oath to uphold every citizen's constitutional rights, and if we were to permit an irresponsible, disinterested public to continue to helm the ship of state, we would be remiss in our duties and putting the entire nation at risk."

The ruling brings to an end a grueling 10-month process, during which more than 100 Supreme Court hearings were held to determine the public's capacity for self-governance. Despite the fact that these hearings were aired on C-SPAN, a majority of U.S. citizens were unaware of them because coverage was largely eclipsed by the Clinton-Lewinsky scandal, the retirement of NBA legend Michael Jordan, and the release of Titanic on home video.

The Supreme Court found that, though 78 percent of U.S. citizens have seen the much-anticipated Star Wars prequel trailer, only one in 200,000 were aware that the multibillion-dollar "Star Wars" missile-defense system had been approved by Congress. Additionally, while 62 percent of citizens correctly identified the cast of Suddenly Susan, only .01 percent were able to identify Attorney General Janet Reno beyond "some woman Jay Leno always says looks like a man." Further, only .0003 percent could correctly identify the ancient Greek city-state of Athens as the birthplace of the concept of an educated citizenry participating in democratic self-rule.

Above: Just some of the millions of empty voting booths that can be seen across America each November.

But the final straw, Supreme Court justices said, came last week when none of the 500,000 random citizens polled were aware that Russian President Boris Yeltsin had threatened global thermonuclear war in response to NATO air attacks in Yugoslavia.

"I mean, come on," Justice William Rehnquist said. "Global thermonuclear war? It's just ridiculous. There was just no way we could trust such a populace to keep running things after that."

Populations currently being considered to fill the leadership void until the American people can be rehabilitated and returned to self-governance include those of Switzerland, Sweden and Canada.

"I'm willing to do what I can to help out in this time of crisis and make sure that my vote counts," said Stockholm resident Per Johanssen. "I've been reading up on America a bit, just to get a general idea of what needs to be done, and from what I can tell, they really need some sort of broad-based health-care reform over there right away."

In a provisional test of the new system, the Canadian province of Saskatchewan will hold primaries next Tuesday to re-evaluate last fall's gubernatorial election in Minnesota.

The lone dissenting vote came from Justice Anthony Kennedy, who, in his minority opinion wrote, "Although the American people are clearly unable to make responsible decisions at this time, it is not their fault that they are so uninformed. Rather, the blame lies with the media interests and corporate powers that intentionally keep them in the dark on crucial issues."

Kennedy concluded his opinion by tendering his immediate resignation and announcing his intent "to move to a small island somewhere."

Thus far, reaction to the ruling has been largely indifferent.

"The people ruled unfit to govern? Yeah, I I think I might've heard something about that," said Covington, KY, sales representative Neil Chester. "I think I saw it on the news or something, when I was flipping past trying to find that show about the lady sheriff."

"If you ask me, voting was a big pain anyway," agreed mother of four Sally Heim of Augusta, ME. "At least now I'm free to do my soap-opera-trivia crossword puzzles in peace, without all that distraction about who's running for Second District Alderperson and what-not."

Despite the enormous impact the ruling would seem to have, many political experts are downplaying its significance.

"It doesn't really change anything, to be honest," said Duke University political-science professor Benjamin St. James. "The public hasn't made any real contributions to the governance of the country in decades, so I don't see how this ruling affects all that much."

"I wouldn't worry about it," St. James added. "It's not that important."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

) Copyright 1999 Onion, Inc., All rights reserved. Masthead

-- Jon Johnson (narnia4@usa.net), April 14, 1999.

The Onion did a very funny spoof of a "Y2K Front Page" a while back. A very clever crew there. Always consider the source, friends...

Certainly supports George S. Kaufman's comment about theatre: "Satire is what closes Saturday night."

-- Mac (sneak@lurk.hid), April 14, 1999.

Hey Diane! There's a Mr. P.T. Barnum on line 2 for you.

-- Sheesh!! (lightsonbutnoone@home.com), April 14, 1999.

Some Of the other headlines from today's issue of "The Onion" online are:

"Breakroom Tension At All-Time High Following Mug Dispute"

"Efforts Of World's 16 Billion Chickens Still Not Adding Up To Much"

"Husband Calls For Greater Seperation Of Church And Mate"

"Area Man Confounded By Buffet Procedure"

"Inspiriational Nike Ad Gives Woman Courage To Reach Full Spending Potential"

"Customer Awkwardly accepts One Cent, Receipt"

"Listener Consumed By Spittle On Corner Of Mouth"

"Don't Nobody Wanna Hear Area Man Run His Mouth"

-- Paul Neuhardt (neuhardt@ultranet.com), April 14, 1999.

It's satire folks... scroll down to the bottom of the article and go to the masthead..

-- Valkyrie (anon@please.net), April 14, 1999.

The Onion is satire, but what wonderful satire...

-- Kevin (mixesmusic@worldnet.att.net), April 14, 1999.

But we should ask ourselves:

WHY IS IT "FUNNY?"

(because it's TRUE).

Dano

-- Dano (bookem@blacksand.srf), April 14, 1999.

Youre right. Whew!

Sorry for the false alarm guys!!

Onion masthead...

http:// www.theonion.com/masthead.html

The Onion. is a satirical newspaper published by Onion, Inc.

The Onion. uses invented names in all its stories, except in cases when public figures are being satirized. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. The content of this web-site-- graphics, text and other elements--is ) Copyright 1999 by Onion, Inc., and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher.

However, I did learn the U.S. Supreme Court doesnt have their own web-site. Strange.

Wierd times.

Diane

Search U.S. Government Web-sites ...

http:// www.lib.lsu.edu/cgi-bin/search.cgi

Supreme Court via FindLaw (opinions since 1893)

http:// www.findlaw.com/casecode/supreme.html

Supreme Court via Oyez Oyez Oyez (Real Audio recordings of oral arguments)

(Note: This link when it switches to another keeps crashing my browser)

http://court.it- services.nwu.edu/oyez/

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), April 14, 1999.

Diane has at least one person who trolls using her name...I would suspect this is the case here...In past months, when Diane posts humor she says so.

-- Donna Barthuley (moment@pacbell.net), April 14, 1999.

You Guys!

I just popped into the forum for a moment. When I saw that thread title I'm sure my blood pressure must have jumped way up there! LOL! I was glad to realize that it was just satire. At least for now...

-- Sharon (Sking@drought-ridden.com), April 14, 1999.

No Donna, it was really me on this one.

At least we know the research crew on this forum works well.

Some comfort.

I ask myself WHY don't we trust our government or the media? Lots of reasons.

*Sigh*

Diane

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), April 14, 1999.

This is what makes BBSing and the Internet so interesting......

Diane, right this instant with your keyboard PROVE you are who you say you are.

For all you people know, Ken Seger might be an old man living on a pension in Kirkwood, MO that doesn't own a computer and the person typing this might be a fellow named Steven Sumner that lives in Ladue, MO that simply opened an ISP account under the name of Ken Seger. After all if my son can open an account with the name of Bobba Fett....

-- Ken Seger (kenseger@earthlink.net), April 14, 1999.

Probably a spoof. They think it; but would never state it so blatantly. They just make rulings continually that accomplish the purpose: preventing people from ruling themselves and increasing the power of our rulers.

Possible solution outlined in novel "Unintended Consequences" by John Ross (Look up reviews on www.loompanics.com or www.anazon.com)

-- A (A@AisA.com), April 14, 1999.

Ken,

The regulars have a signature way of writing. The forum "elders" usually recognize one another's style.

I also tend to research and find confirming links. It's well known.

Also, I rarely use bad language. That's well known too.

*Another Big Sigh*

Diane

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), April 14, 1999.

Yes, Diane,...catch my couple replies to you, and about you on the other WND thread. Part of what makes The Onion's satire scintillating is just that. They take ideas that, while outrageous, are not that much of a stretch for anybody who dares to question 'conventional wisdom'.

Ever ready to jump to defend,...she tells on herself,...or at least the self she is in cyberspace,...(does she or doesn't she,...is she or isn't she?) Upon the hill, reading Godel's theorum.

-- Donna Barthuley (moment@pacbell.net), April 14, 1999.

Diane, LOL like no one can write in your style! You are so full of yourself, it makes me sick. "An interesting piece of the puzzle"... "sigh"... "another big sigh"... "I do my homework". All I have to do is add these little tidbits to my post and bingo, I could be you.

-- Y2K Goddess (word@from.above), April 14, 1999.

Elder Donna,

Thanks for the other comments, on other threads. Caught them.

Some of us will have to write a post-Y2K book in 2001 or beyond. These archives, if still accessible would provide a wealth of background for hundreds of personal angles.

Observing all the "puzzle pieces" and digital history, in the making, is certainly "eye-opening."

Diane

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), April 14, 1999.

Y2KGoddess,.... and of course, you have nothing better to do than to criticize other people. What a huge waste of your time and energy. Grow up, Child!

-- Donna Barthuley (moment@pacbell.net), April 14, 1999.

Y2K ... Pro, lyte.

You're recognizable too. (As are your many forum "morphs").

Enough said.

Diane

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), April 14, 1999.

BTW, I'm not one of the forum "elders." Just a mid-termer.

Donna qualifies, though.

Bowing with respect.

Diane

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), April 14, 1999.

,...and me, perfectly capable of making an lovable ass outta myself from time-to-time,...Thank you Diane. What is it Garth and What's His Name said from their knees when face to face with Alice Cooper? "We're not worthy, we're not worthy!" My kids would be so proud that I remember this.

In the meantime,...this "elder",..welcomes cogent emails, and pretends when reading them that the correspondent is sitting her in the backyard, with a cool drink, talking foma, watching the swallowtails swoop about.

Be kinder one another, Lovelies,...you never know when the shitstorm we call 'life' will make friends vital.

-- Donna Barthuley (moment@pacbell.net), April 14, 1999.

Diane, I guess I shouldn't be amazed but I am. I am not Y2K pro. Are you that full of yourself to think that only a few people on this forum would dare to criticize you.

Thanks Donna for coming to the rescue but how I spend my time is entirely my business. But thank you for your concern on my wasting my time.

-- Y2K Goddess (word@from.above), April 14, 1999.

Dearest Diane ,

ROTFLMAO !

At least you had the GUTS to " fess up ". Thats more than a lot of these chicken shits would do !

Love you, keep up the good work . :o)

-- Mike (mickle2@aol.com), April 16, 1999.