Come one, come all! The Magnificent and Colossal Yourdon Y2K Circus is bigger and better than ever. Here's a new continuation thread for circus performers and devotees. The previous thread is wonderful,...and can be read by using this link:

MCYY2K Circus

Or copy and paste this URL: http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id=000Yyc

Share your talent and life-as-circus wit with the world. Keep juggling!!!

-- Donna Barthuley (moment@pacbell.net), March 07, 1999

Answers

The cast of characters expands exponentially, as do the posts...

Just a note to performers,...we're booking the midwest and east coast legs of our tour for later so we don't have to use the elphunts to pull the train through the snow drifts. Look for our upcoming schedule, soon.

The MCYY2K Circus is coming to a town near YOU!!!

-- Donna Barthuley (moment@pacbell.net), March 07, 1999.

Where are we gonna go????

I suggest FT. Worth, TX. It's a great little town. We could coordinate our appearances with the Great Southwest Exposition and Fat Stock Show since we seem to have some fat stock with us.

Then we could go to Raton, NM. One of the prettiest places on earth.

Then I'd like to see the Black Hills.

Then Stone Mountain.

"Where would you like to go today?"

--Greybear, with travel bags packed

- Got Maps?

"On the road again, just cain't wait to get on the road again...."

-- Greybear (greybear@home.com), March 07, 1999.

Psst, Greybear, sshhhh. What if the Night Stalkers are still hangin round thereabouts? What if they decide to rappel down the bigtop teepee pole and upstage our performance? They'd sorta fit in, but we should outscope 'em beforehand to get extra billing. Is Texas safe for us yet?

xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxx

-- Leska (allaha@earthlink.net), March 07, 1999.

I got here in time - don't wanna have to run after this here Circus train like last time. Fellow BigTopers: I request that there be no jugs or jiggle juice on this thread, less one or more of us partake and then start PWI.

Donna: Do you think the FRL will need to provide for aerial coverage on this tour? Let me know.

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@net.com), March 07, 1999.

Leska,

I'm quite offended that you should think I have not made plans and prepared for this possibility.

[whispers]

I have never know anyone in Law Enforcement (and they think they are) who could resist donuts. I have hidden 8 gross of donuts. When they come we will lead them into a trap with donuts. They will eat so many they cannot move. We will cover them in elphunt product (the thing we seem to have the most of) and they will all have to go home to bathe and we'll just leave

[normal voice]

Why, no, Leska. What will we do. Let's have some hot coffee ready for our fine boys in black.

--Greybear, food vendor (who couldn't spell consesionaire)

-- Greybear (greybear@home.com), March 07, 1999.

Greybear,
soto voce

What about the allyfance smelling all those donuts? They'll rampage to truncate them! It's been hard enough keeping them out of the jiggle juice. Ever seen a pad on a sugar high? How can we rappelent the bigtop teepee pole -- maybe booby traps?
About those donuts -- you haven't gone and enlisted JBD have you?
I know we're short-stuffed with all the defections, but we really must be careful about who is jerking our supply chains.

xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx

-- Leska (allaha@earthlink.net), March 07, 1999.

Leska,

[whispers]

I've secreted the donuts where no one will find them. One donut inside each of the Spam-on-a-Stick supplies. Nobody will willingly look in there so I think we're pretty safe and the Spam smell masks the donut aroma so those two tailed beasties won't know.

And BTW, why are we whispering. Nobody else is around. Oh, must be just our normal paranoia.

sorry forgot

[normal voice]

--Greybear, getcher Spam-On-A-Stick, right this way, geddem while they're hot, no crowding folks, don't push, we have plentry for everyone

ps, If no one has spoken for it yet, I'd like to claim the Egress tent.

-- Greybear (greybear@home.com), March 07, 1999.

Greybear, I know gonuts are allurking, but spam-scam tainted? Is that a complete contingegincy plan? Looks like everyone's beaten you out of the egregious egress tent. Stampede out from the herd, is the FRL wont, yessirree.

xxxxxx xxxxxx xxxxxx

-- Leska (allaha@earthlink.net), March 07, 1999.

Forget Dallas, and come on to Houston. We are having the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo, and OUR cows can do the macarena!! :-)

Yeeeeeeeeee Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!

-- Gayla Dunbar (privacy@please.com), March 07, 1999.

This way to the Egress...step right this way! LOL, GB, I'll share that tent with you, if you will?

We at The MCYY2K Circus bow reverently in memory of our patron saint,...also the patron saint of the good ole US of A...Phineas T. Barnum!

Rob...we will definitely need air coverage from the FRL; I'm willing to sit down and discuss the tour schedule with all the muckety mucks over there. Especially since Leska and GB think we'll have to deal with the blackshirts. Caramba! What a world where a bunch of clowns can't put on a simple circus!

-- Donna Barthuley (moment@pacbell.net), March 07, 1999.

Oh good, I can load this in less than a minute! Have been at the vet with Admiral Horatio Lord Nelson and Sooty for a few hours--have to leave them out of the rehearsals for now, Tricia, they're not well. Great new vet, has a pet rat in the office--Fancy. No, not fancy that, that's her name--Fancy.

Didn't I post something about elephants liking alcohol and going nuts on the stuff? Wish I could remember what it was, where I got it from and, more to the point, exactly what it was about. Or even what I did with it. As you see, I don't need alcohol to screw up my brain. Or maybe it WAS alcohol that did it--permanently! I can't remember. I do remember I had more than my fair share of hurricanes from Pat O'Brien's--now THAT's jiggle juice!

Did anyone see the bio information about Gwynneth Flower on the ET editorial thread? I think we should ask her to join us. Oh, gosh, how COULD I forget--John Major, the former British PM, is the son of a circus performer! Wonder what he's doing these days?

-- Old Git (anon@spamproblems.com), March 07, 1999.

Wow! You know, I really think this whole post-Y2K employment in travelling circuses might catch on. (Dear John Mayor: As you seem to be in-between jobs,...)

Publicist! Publicist,...my kingdom for a publicist!!

-- Donna Barthuley (moment@pacbell.net), March 07, 1999.

Vell, guessz I gotz ta startz seeink thinkz agin! Lik ...

FRL Stealthy Geesez

Doink Tehas recognisance, yakno? (Flyink in cirklez)

*DiAna Zee Seeress*

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), March 07, 1999.

Dear Ringmistress Donna:

My sister and I are seeking employment in your Circus. Perhaps you've heard of us: Yolanda and Talulah Krap: AKA Y2K? We are a highwire trapeze act. We most recently did a stint in Russia till the unfortunate accident where I failed to catch Gorby and he fell to his death. Our equipment manager, JoAnne, assured us our grids and nets were safe. So, in effect, it was JoAnne's fault.

My sister and I were forced to flee with only our bug-out bags and walk the whole way on Billy Boy's Bridge to the Future to get here. If you think you could use us in your Circus, we would be willing to work for food.

Thanks in advance, Yolanda

-- Marcy (YCRAM410@aol.com), March 07, 1999.

Vonc inna vhile I cee ...

Unkle DeeDah Dancink (Noaw yu cee himz, n now yu doan)

*DiAna Zee Seeress*

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), March 07, 1999.

Our recent ad in the LA times read:

So, you say you're lookin' for a circus job,
Your heart all a-flutter, your pulse is a-throb?
Ye clowns, and jugglers, elphunt minders,
Flyers, scryers, animal act finders,
Come see us today, and beat the Madding Mob.

send resume to: The Magnificent and Colossal Yourdon Y2K Circus (an equal opportunity employer)

-- Donna Barthuley (moment@pacbell.net), March 07, 1999.

Yolanda and Talulah Krap - please, can you tiptoe through twolips on two toes tweaking a twizzle stick to toast a tango?

Could you use a used tutu, or two tutu's, or a fourfour?

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), March 07, 1999.

Otha timz I cee dee trollz outa in de forze ...

Bebe Trollz Sundaze Strollink

Halff Trollz

Spookee Trollz

Someetimez dez enuf ta scaree da pantz offa yuz! (Ole Git outta costumez agin)

Sheeshy!

Donna -- Meebee Lonz can usz des guyz vith de elphunts?

*DiAna Zee Seeress*

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), March 07, 1999.

I see that Diane already has the stealth geese deployed on recon for aerial coverage. Good job Diane. Now we need to find out about these dang blackshirts - may be a job for the FRL Seals. What do youz guyz think - Should I detach a platoon of our fruitcake tossing Seals to the Circus for this tour?

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@net.com), March 07, 1999.

We finally took delivery of a marquee....We can use it on the Egress tent!

-- Donna Barthuley (moment@pacbell.net), March 07, 1999.

Good idea, Diane,...I bet Lon would love to designate a few trolls to elphunt potty detail. It's pretty skilled work though, I'm not sure most of them could manage it. Maybe we could give aptitude tests when they come in to fill out job applications...

Which reminds me...Yolanda and Talulah, we can hold your audition anytime.

-- Donna Barthuley (moment@pacbell.net), March 07, 1999.

Yo, Yolanda and Talulah, have you by any chace got a brother?

He gets mentioned here a lot. What? Oh, several brothers. I see.

I was talking about Yofulla. We were wondering where he was from.

Oh, you got a cousin too that's famous - S'bucha. Yeah, we've heard of him too.

And of course you famous Royal cousin in Jolly 'Ol.

--Greybear, geneologist extrodianire

- Got Relatives?

ps, I say we hire 'em, Anybody willing to work for Spam-On-a-Stick gotta be pretty good folks. Especially with all those famous relatives.

-- Greybear (greybear@home.com), March 07, 1999.

SILeNCE BABOoNS!!!! whY caNnOT yoU jaCKals be qUIeT????? stOp thiS FOoLIsHNESS THE MOmeNT OF THIS InstAnt, YOu naTTeRing nabOBs OF NINcoMPOoperiSm!!!!!! caNnOT YOu RABid olD DOgs leARn nEW TRICKs?????? ENOuGH siLLy jacKassED PICTuRes!!!!! NO More of THe insANe raNTinGS, YOU ciRcuS MidWAy freAKs!!!!!!! siLencE I SAY!!!!! SILeNce nOw!!!!!! WHY do YOu twIST DIEtErs nosTRiLs in thIS MANNer????? INfiDELS!!!! CAN YoU NOt see tHat dieTER IS TRyING to sleEp????? GO AWay!!!!!

-- Dieter (questions@toask.com), March 07, 1999.

GB: Anyone with a brother named YoFulla will probably be good with the oiliphants :) I think we should accept this here application forthwith, or with forth, or with fifth, or with sixth, or.......

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@net.com), March 07, 1999.

Hey, DiEteR, ol buddy. Glad to see you could make it back. Thought we might have to leave without you.

So sorry to hear about the problems with you and the Mrs. But I don't think she ever understood you as well as we do.

Hang around, you know you are among friends here. Just remember to keep the meds up, OK?

--Greybear, friend of DiEteR

ps, We're keeping the beavers tightly caged, not to worry.

-- Greybear (greybear@home.com), March 07, 1999.

Here, Dieter,....Yummy SPAM, Dieter!!! Here, boy!

-- Donna Barthuley (moment@pacbell.net), March 07, 1999.

OH GOD PleaSe maKE HiM SToP!!!!!! DO NOt evEn SPeAK of thOSE visCIOus CREatUres!!!!!! whY DO you torMenT DIeTer wiTH SUCh VILe talK?????? YOu eviL DEvIL!!!!! DIetER IS COVerinG DIetEr'S earS FRom thAT FouL WorD!!!! DieTer is plEAdiNg, do NOt speAk suCH EViL AGAin!!!!!! INFidEL!!!!

-- Dieter (questions@toask.com), March 07, 1999.

Don-naa, goot jub on da markee!

Betz chew dezign it onna VHY2KAY compliment compliputer tu! Huh?

*DiAna Zee Seeress*

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), March 07, 1999.

Dearest Donna,

Just received a simply maavelous offer from Billy Boy's Best Barkers. Talulah and I ain't into jumping through flaming hoops, though.

We have no brothers but we know of two guys that go by the name of Doddbennet. I believe they are of French origin....anyway, they speak in many languages but their main attraction is they eat crow! I think we could get them cheap for you. Say 2 donuts and an IBM mainframe pre Y2K.

Let us know and in the meantime sign us on, we still have 299 days to perform. We'd be willing to help with the elephant situation too.

Yolanda

-- Marcy (YCRAM410@aol.com), March 07, 1999.

Skippy Skippy - we need a little investigatin' here - there's all these new brothers and relatives and old cousins and good ole boys drinking whiskey and rye - and I ain't sure whose supposed to be getting paid - and who supposed to be freeloadin' and whose freeloadin' whose supposed to getting paid- and who supposed to on the chevy with the levee!

help....

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), March 07, 1999.

Gettink Hungrey?

Greybear, food vendor (who couldn't spell consesionaire) inna costumez ta foolz da local pikz, uh, cuups.

Getcher Spam-On-A-Stick, right this way, geddem while they're hot, no crowding folks, don't push, we have plentry for everyone!

N hez gotz lotz a goot fud too...

Hez fin ezee helphers tu!

Vit a littlel inscentivez!

Vorkz fas, tu! Yum!

Night Stalkers still hangin round (Greybear puttin em ta workz afore think spoilz)

(Savink doughnutz fourr letter)

*DiAna Zee Seeress*

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), March 07, 1999.

Hey Diane - got a picture of Dieter? <:)=

-- Sysman (y2kboard@yahoo.com), March 07, 1999.

Dearest Mistress of the Big Top,

My goofy little sister has went and signed us up fer the circus again. I keep tellin her I ain't into trustin those nets and grids anymore. Joanne predicted we might come crashin down.

So if I might beg yer pardin and change that request. I think Yolanda would do herself proud in the lions den with DiEteR. She's really good with a chair and a hoop.

Please consider me fer ridin one o'them elefants. I look real purdy in a tutu. And not to werry yeself ore the pacaderm dung, I'll bring my big pooper scooper like them ones they use in New Orleans on those poor horsie carriages.

Will work fer beans and franks!

--Got can-openers?

-- Talulah Krap (cajun@bayou.com), March 07, 1999.

DiEteR,

Greybear appologizes. Greybear was trying to assure DIeTer that you friends will protect you. Greybear will talk to deITer only of good things.

We love dEiTer and want to make deiTER happy.

We will offer DEITer all the donuts DEiTER can eat. How about that?

-- Greybear (greybear@home.com), March 08, 1999.

Dieter--good to see you back! The pic up there--got me about right, except the new glasses are a bit squared off. Wish I could say the same for the old body. No tutus for me, maybe a fourtu.

Saw some more non-Stealth Geese again today, headed due north, you guys up there. I know it's chucking it down with snow (not to mention low 20s here in central NC) but spring IS on the way. Definitely nothing stealthy about these geese--noisy as all get out, honking away. Obviously never been near our circus, V-formation was very sloppy. Probably chewing gum with their mouths open, too.

Still haven't got my act in shape, but I have a possible opening:

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I was going to start by singing one of Andrew Lloyd Weber's songs. Then I thought, 'Why the hell should I? He never sings any of mine.'"

-- Old Git (anon@spamproblems.com), March 08, 1999.

I'd be thrilled to welcome Talulah to the Lion's Den. Ginger is still very well behaved, but the others are envious of his run of freedom, and although I'm working on a contingincy plan, I'm still not sure that those elphunt pooper-scoopers won't cause more problems...

The birds are coming along well. There is one really large egg that got slipped into the nest; I'm debating whether or not to let them hatch it. If it's a roc egg, fix on hatching could be dangerous; but if it's a rock egg, it'll be fine. Someone suggested that I examine the chips for compliance, but I'm not sure that chipping it is a good idea, either. Any suggestions?

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), March 08, 1999.

Just received shipment of costumes for some of our performers. Head over to the costume tent, (behind the Egress Tent), to see what will fit you. The costume mistress has on hand:

4 tutus, 2 threetus, 6 fourtus, and for the fuller figures, 3 fivetus!

Also found a potential golden deal for Y2K compliant aircraft for the circus. We'll need that $4.82 back, though,...What's the word on that Lon? See brochure below, sweet little deal:

-- Donna Barthuley (moment@pacbell.net), March 08, 1999.

I found a picture of Greybear. (OK, so he's a little brown, what do you expect with the elphunts and all?) I sure hope that is the MRS. that he's with!! :-)

PS- DieTEr posted a picture of himself on one of the other Circus threads.

-- Gayla Dunbar (privacy@please.com), March 08, 1999.

Iz it a birdz, a plane?

Itz Yourdonees Flyink Cirkus!

Tricia the Canucks cracked eggz (tuk vone looke at usz n hidz agin!)

(Sysman I cee Dietery onz sum earlierr threadz. Yu gatta bee psykick to fin itz)

*DiAna Zee Seeress*

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), March 08, 1999.

You can betcher sweet bippie (boy, does that a person) that that is MaMa Bear in the pix.

Philandery here in Texas is a self healing problem. All the MaMa Bears I know of are packing, and I don't mean boxes.

--Faithful Greybear, besides, despite all the nose hair, wrinkles, bad attitude, teeth-falling-out, buzzard breath, and platable leg hair she is still the sexiet thing on two legs (or four for that matter).

And she did make two of the cutest little cubs you ever saw.....Now, if they had just stayed little and cute and not grow their own fangs!!!

-- Greybear (greybear@home.com), March 08, 1999.

that should have been (boy, does that date a person)

--Greybear, who unfortunately did not hit the submit button in a timely enough fasion - ie MaMa done walked by and read over my shoulder.

I'll be seeing y'all in 3 or 4 days.

At least I hope the swelling in my eyes will go down by then.

-- Greybear (greybear@home.com), March 08, 1999.

Ringmistress Donna,

I would like to submit an idea for post Y2K employment for the circus. We could open a restaurant, call it Hannibal's, and sell Dumbo Burgers. Seems to solve a major elphunt problem here. What do you think?

Will work for food! Yolanda

-- Marcy (YCRAM410@aol.com), March 08, 1999.

I'll be thinking about you, your surgery, and your healing, Dear GreyBear....Come back soon.

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I was going to start by singing one of Andrew Lloyd Weber's songs. Then I thought, 'Why the hell should I? He never sings any of mine.'"

Old Git, Dear Lovely,...I adore this quote...who's is it?

Yolanda,...(it was you yes? and not your evil twin Talulah?) I think the elphunts may object to being put on the menu, and besides we may need them for transportation if the railway switching system goes ka-fluey! Which, actually, still reminds me of Hannibal...you know like when he tromped over the Alps with the elphunts...

Doesn't Hannibal Lector have that restaurant name registered???? Thought he liked long pig....Curiouser and curiouser....

I think I need to hire a adminstrative assistant. Brain cells ain't what they used to be. Better run another ad.

-- Donna Barthuley (moment@pacbell.net), March 08, 1999.

Donna, Donna, Donna.

"Brain cells ain't what they used to be"

I'm afraid you are right. You have Greybear confused with Chuck the Night Driver. Chuck had surgery on his eyes, Greybear just got punched in the eyes by MaMa Bear for telling us about her... um... lovely attributes. :-)

Gayla- who has also been called a MaMa Bear, when someone messed with her young'uns.

-- Gayla Dunbar (privacy@please.com), March 08, 1999.

Caramba!!!!....well I'm glad we're not losing another of our cast of characters to eye surgery...But, didn't GreyBear say he would be incommunicado for a few days...guess that was the connection my poor old brain made...Chuck is back BTW....at least I think in my feebled way he is...saw a post from him posted today...

Gayla, I am ever-grateful for your unfailing kindness and assistance at the Circus and at Yourdon's...Don't go away, okay?

-- Donna Barthuley (moment@pacbell.net), March 08, 1999.

<< I think the elphunts may object to being put on the menu, and besides we may need them for transportation if the railway switching system goes ka-fluey!>>

I believe she was delicately referring to the round, somewhat flattened continued output (throughput? dropout? fallout? reminders? leftover's?) of elphunts, not extra or excess elphunt parts themselves.

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), March 08, 1999.

Made it back. While I was nursing my eyes MaMa Bear read the rest of my comment. When she finished the sentence and got to the "sexitest thing on two legs" part, she forgave all and helped me treat the swolen eyes. (Said she was only offended by the plated leg hair part, said she had been clipping it to a quarter inch for a long time now. Further investigation is called for.)

She also noticed thatteh words cooking and elephant appeared the the same sentence and had her normal knee jerk reaction - she went for a cook book.

She found this old time honored family recipe on how to cook and elephant:

1 elephant, tenderized

650 lbs potatoes, cubed medium

234 Lbs onions, chopped fine

63 pounds of salt

1 clove of garlic

Put all ingredients in a pot, cook over medium flame, stir constantly until elephant falls off the bone. Serve around 1200 unless guests are especially hungry then only around 950.

Thought this might be helpful. Some of you may wish to print this and put it with your other preparedness materials. You never know when an elephant may wander by.

-- Greybear, I grant permission to distribute and reproduce this recipe as long as this recipe is reproduced in its entirety, and not used for commercial porpoises . I do not grant permission to a commercial publisher to reprint this in print media.

-- Greybear (greybear@home.com), March 09, 1999.

That's 5 ingredients - too many for my taste. What if the elphunt ate potatoes and the glove of garlic (clove of lettuce, or whatever - its green, probably a vegetable - couldn't be important) first, then you added salt water?

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), March 09, 1999.

Ummm Per MY bride, ostrich, and buffalo are both MUCH more tasty than elephunt. And a bit easier to hunt. I have NO idea what pajamas she was referring to but if it's the set I'm thinking of the need for decoy calls decreases, always assuming they are male and share my tastes.

The grammar policeperson sitting next ot me reminds us all that it's "Plaited" not "plated" unless of course it's stainless steel or galvanized.

Don't ask galvanized by what......

Foggy (thinning, thank heaven) and spouse

-- Chuck, night driver (rienzoo@en.com), March 09, 1999.

Oh, sure, Chuck. There you set in you half blind stupor and can hardly see the keyboard, (probably heavily medicated to boot) but NO, you can see Greybear alleged typos. UhHuh!

What you fail to understand is that I type in Texan. You gotta to learn how to read in Texan. Lessons by appointment only. so There.

Texas, it's a whole nuther place.

--Greybear, who is also recovering from eye (and ire) problems and will try to be more forgiving. (will also work on the weak limpy excuses catagory)

- Got Glasses?

-- greybear (greybear@home.com), March 09, 1999.

I thought it was tutu's, fourxfour's, eightxeight's and palatable legs - ain't found no pajama's - taht new girl and her evil twin musta losted 'em somewhere's about that drat other red sock - you know, the one we aren't missing any more since I emailed back in a zipped file attache cabinet.... now, are we cooking ostriches or peguins - thought them there OZ'ies were cooking peguins and malti-meals.

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), March 09, 1999.

Stepping into big shoes....Bozo's shoe size is: 83AAA

I just heard that my clown shoemaker is not Y2K compliant and will probably not make it...gotta start walking lighter... (!!) and carrying a bigger stick.

Oh, Robert, the shoes won't fit with the red socks...

-- Donna Barthuley (moment@pacbell.net), March 09, 1999.

INfIDeL!!!!!! CIRcUS BeaR JAckAL!!!!! DIEtER DoeS NoT EAT DOnUTS!!!!!! WHy???? hUh???? wHy???? BEcUASe tHEY are NOt as WHOLesoME AS douGHnUTS!!!!!! HOw dULL Are yOU noT TO SEe tHAt????? GOod morNINg!!!!!

-- Dieter (questions@toask.com), March 09, 1999.

Dear Cyber Daddy Bear,...Please thank Mama for the elphunt recipe...we might draw larger crowds if we offer a good oldtime picnics out back of the Egress tent after our lush and lavish entertainment concludes...(at the mere cost of a silver 50 cent piece a head)

-- Donna Barthuley (moment@pacbell.net), March 09, 1999.

BuT DieTer, tHEY ArE filLEd wITh SPAM. yoU caNNOt GET more NUtrIsiOus Than tHaT!!!! iS IT not sO?????

(Why am I typing like to Dieter just because I'm talking to him?) maybe that s__t is contagious like the typing flur. It's just like talking to one of those dam cajuns, you start to sound like him after 15 minutes, after 30 minutes HE starts to sound normal.

Speaking of cajuns has anyone seen Skippie around?

I am working on some new treats to sell in the MidWay if we get on the road. Report as soon a I fins suck....person to try out delicious new treats. DiEter, wHat aRE You dOINg toMMoRRowW?????

-- Greybear (greybear@home.com), March 09, 1999.

Well, guys, here I am panting and heaving to catch up. I got sidelined at the hospital today. I hope Talulah/Yolanda took good care of my pets!

For all those interested, my mom had an elephant recipe. I don't remember what all it called for or what the cooking instructions were. It did specify that it would feed two villages if there were a wedding to celebrate. The ingredient list included stuffing for chickens (20?), which were then used to stuff goats (4?), which were then used to stuff the elephant. Then the elephant was cooked in the ground (kinda like a luau, I guess) for several days. Although I never got up the nerve to even try the chicken stuffing, it did sound like it would taste good. As for the rest, we didn't have two village worth's people at our wedding (although that wouldn't have been hard!), so the elephant was safe. Maybe the forum could look into it if Andy's romance goes well ;-)

And I'm a bit worried about that egg. I've never seen a bird quite like that one before. I really don't know how to train it. And that beak - looks like a buzzard's beak, will my other birds be safe? And which of you pooper scoopers is muttering curses as you scoop? My parrots have quit talking circles around me and started muttering curses about !%!*^%@#^ elephants and their twice !$*(^#!'ed poop.

I think I'll go back to working with the cats again for awhile. Oh, and speaking of which, I heard on TV the other day that some trainer agrees with me that cats are easier to train than dogs, they are more bribable with food, the easiest training method.

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), March 10, 1999.

See? The cats are easier to train. They've already trained you to give them food.

Now, turtles are only a problem when you try take them out for a walk. It took two hours for Jean's red-eared slider to get to the front door....

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), March 10, 1999.

The time is ripe...we have the acts..we have the costumes...we have the food....we must send our train out!!!!!!!!!!

The people are waiting for our entertainment! Gather your birds and your tutus....we're heading out!!!!

-- Donna Barthuley (moment@pacbell.net), March 10, 1999.

Where to Donna girl?

We need a destination

The Cheshire Cat said to Alice "Where are you going"

Alice "I don't know"

CC "The how will you know when you get there"

--Greybear, who may want to take that back. Maybe we autta just go.

-Got Backpacks?

-- Greybear (greybear@home.com), March 11, 1999.

Curiouser and curiouser....you know, been thinkin' about the places I'd most like us all to fly away (chug away) to:

Fiji and Alpha Centaurii...but since those are a bit out of our means til the box office receipts begin to accumulate, I'd like to take a vote of the whole Yourdon Y2K circus crew: Where shall we begin the tour that could save the world with humor...?

Your vote? (Calgon, take us away!)

-- Donna Barthuley (moment@pacbell.net), March 12, 1999.

Daughter Bear,

Greybear would like to nominate DeeCee cause he thinks they are in the worst need of humor. But afraid that our Circus, as wierd as it is, would hardly be noticable in the Great Circus that exists there now.

So my nomination is a tour of Nuke plants. I think those people could use a little humor. I'd like to see them all now cause it'll be getting pretty late in the game to hang around them later.

If those suggestions don't work, lets go somewhere where they are in desperate need of fertilizer (capitalizing or our assets).

-- Greybear, who realizes that the last suggestion also leaves out DeeCee

- Got Shovels?

-- Greybear (greybear@home.com), March 12, 1999.

You might be right about DeeCee, Daddy Bear,...but I think what they be needing us for is for poop organizing skills...we could start in the hallowed halls of gubmint (coughing, guffawing and other obnoxious noises of distain).

Donna, the baby bear who's been patiently waitin for her dad to read the latest post! :)

-- Donna Barthuley (moment@pacbell.net), March 12, 1999.

Daughter Bear,

Greybears boss, that mean unreasonalbe Bear slave driver, had the audacity to expect actual work out of the ol' Bear there for a spell.

Glad we have that nonsense cleared up for a while. He keeps coming back every now and then with the same totally unresonable expectations. He was informed on the last visit that he was expected only to bring paychecks, no more. Time will tell.

Poop originizing....hmmm...Does that mean like - Gettin you s--t together?

-- Greybear (greybear@home.com), March 12, 1999.

Indeed it do, (doo-doo?)! Sic semper tyrannis! Be forewared, bear slave drivers! Leave my daddy alone!

Now, the rest of you clowns...if you don't vote, we're gonna start in DeeCee and make our way westward. Sorta poetic, actually,...westward HO, the circus train!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Donna, the baby bear signing off for the night, hoping for sustainability dreams...!

-- Donna Barthuley (moment@pacbell.net), March 12, 1999.

Donna and Commander Greybear:

Suggested Security Arrangements

If in fact this here Circus goes to DeeCee then be advised of the following:

DeeCee is a DHA - (designated hostile Arena)

Ground security shall consist of a platoon of FRL Seals, however, air security is compromised by numerous no-fry zones - so the FRL Stealth Geese will not be deployed in the event of any situation requiring aerial coverage, as they would be at risk. In Lieu of this, or in Rob of this, or in Donna of this, as the FRL reprehensible lesion to the Circus, I can have the beavers deployed in the Potomac and the groundhogs in the subway (undercover) in case the Seals need reinforcement. The only aerial coverage in this DHA that is feasible would be the Stealth Duckys, since they fry lower than the geese and have a smaller radar cross signature. They shall remain on standby alert in the event that aerial coverage is needed due to a clear and present danger to the Circus staff. Sound reasonable?

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@net.com), March 12, 1999.

Excelent plans, Rob!!!

I think that we also should explore the potential of some how loading the elerphants and using them as mortars. Seems that there is a mighty weapon there, just need to work out the de-tails.

Maybe just lift de-tails.

The real danger. as I see it, of appearing in DeeCee is the professional pickpockets there. They have the largest concentration in the world. Of course there is a way to avoid the worst of the lot. We'll just schedule out run while congress is out of session and most of them are in their home districts.

Wagon HOoooooooo.

Not really my job. Just always wanted to say that. (Watched Ward Bond to many times as a young impressionalble cub)

-- Greybear (greybear@home.com), March 13, 1999.

DC sounds too dangeruous to me. Me and my birds and cats like to live the excitng life, byt we want to LIVE. All that hot air makes my birds susceptible to flu, and as you can see,O'm already haveing an espisod oif typign flu, mysteltf. Meet you weast of the Potomac (somewhere) :-)

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), March 14, 1999.

I'm getting this strange feeling that I may be the only one that HOooooed his Wagon.

Was I not supposed to say that?

Maybe it's the perrogative of the boss. sorry...

--Greybear, who waits paitently in the seat of his wagon (snacking on some wheat berries and powdered mild). Anybody got a bottle of water handy?

-- Greybear (greybear@home.com), March 15, 1999.

No cold water, but I've got some nice fresh borated re-hydrated de-hydrated beer left over, already to be served at a piping 212 farenheits, or 10000 D-J's, or 1200 S&P's, or whatever.

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), March 15, 1999.

Donna, can we go already? Don't care where, let's just GO! :-)

-- Gayla Dunbar (privacy@please.com), March 15, 1999.

Oh, I see the Internet newbies here have learned to upload animated gifs. Isn't that nice! Have you checked your PCs for Y2K yet you morons?

-- despite what you think (wit_is_lacking@this.place), March 15, 1999.

Dear Wit is Lacking,

It was so good to see your post. Thank you for pointing that out.

Thank you for being here. At least you presence gets us half way to the correcting the problem.

-- Greybear (greybear@home.com), March 15, 1999.

"Despite what you think"...... my lovely self-milking cow Amaisyah picked up some powerful kenetic energy when she read your post...and has declared a lifelong vigil to find you.... She did want to join the circus with her lovely talents, however, you have stolen her heart, so she is running away to YOU

She will find you.......

-- Amaisyah....fed by Mr. K (love@first.sight), March 15, 1999.

If that cow gets any bigger wings flapping any faster, she'll be flying over ya! Look out above?

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), March 16, 1999.

Love those lightbulbs going off...To wit is lacking: We need YOU for the extremely important work of loading the elephunt exhaust into the shell casings. Someone of your obvious intellect should be able to handle this task with aplomb.

I think we should prepare to Ho those wagons in the next three days...what do you think troops? Daddy Bear, the Ward Bond reference cracked me up....yessiree, watched Wagon Train with my other Daddy Bear when I was a mere cute cub.

Grab your clown shoes, tutus, birds, fleas, and shovels...We're off to DeeCee. T minus 3 days and counting!

-- Donna Barthuley (moment@pacbell.net), March 16, 1999.

That looks more like a spotted jackass than a cow.

Side note for Tex-o-philes and others who just can't believe some of the stuff here: There acyually is a guy in Hico, TX who sells and trades in a particular breed of ass (not donkeys) which are all spotted. He like several others in Texas raise and sell fighting roosters. (The Bear does not condone, only report). This guys sign out at the road proclaims:

For Sale, Spotted Asses and Fighting Cocks

Truth is almost always better than any fiction you can dream up. At least here in Texas.

Daughter Bear, I be sitting here snacking on the midway food till we get going. We'll see if I can tolerate Spam-on-a-stick, cotton beans (like cotton candy, except....), wheat berry malts and all the other treats. It may just be too much good stuff for too many days.

He waits.

-- Greybear (greybear@home.com), March 17, 1999.

Now that we know where we are going to, did we ever figure out where we are coming from?

Where's that invesitgative reportette person when we need one? We gotta figure something out here, and ain't got nobody to write up the answers.

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), March 17, 1999.

I, too, have been thinking about where we're gonna start from...our little but mighty CyberCircus,...It should be from somewhere spectacular, perhaps some natural wonder. Anyone have an idea about some place about 3 days out of DeeCee? I've been fancying a 3-day train trip. Let's get going before Daddy Bear eats up all the provisions. Got antacid?

"I had rather have a fool to make me merry than experience to make me sad." William Shakespeare, As You Like It

-- Donna Barthuley (moment@pacbell.net), March 18, 1999.

Three days eh? Them be Y2K workin' days, government y2k schedule delay days, or bank holidays? Do we include or exclude Feb 30th and June 31st? School days - you know those are longer than vacation days! DGI daze or holydays? Three days per the "get-ready-for" time, or three Alaskan mid-summer days in June?

If that train is going - what song is it singing? How long is it going per day? I know a couple of beautiful spots - including one or two in mid-TN along the Natchez Trace, near the Lewis & Clark memorial that'd be a nice lay-over.

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), March 18, 1999.

What do you think clownsters and youngsters and animal hoopsters? (I'm in a Dr. Seuss mood seems) Shall we gather at the Lewis and Clark Memorial? Sounds wonderful Robert!

Got compass? Got atlas?

Ho!

"... An agreeable companion on a journey is as good as a carriage."(editor's note: or a circus train) Publius Syrus, 42 BC

-- Donna Barthuley (moment@pacbell.net), March 18, 1999.

But... but... where's LON????

-- Gayla Dunbar (privacy@please.com), March 18, 1999.

(Muffled sobs...) I feel so,...so, responsible. If I had been more sensitive to Lon's pleas for more help with the elphunts he might not have run away from the circus! I should turn in my management clown shoes and the spiffy power clown suit.

Lon,...forgive me, and come back to us!

-- Donna Barthuley (moment@pacbell.net), March 19, 1999.

(My apologies to all for posting out-of-character on this most excellent humor-thread. I have been rudely absent, and I can only share this here, among you.)

As I stumbled back to the circus, after being thoroughly pounced by Ginger the cat, I was blind-sided by another impact that I simply didn't see coming. After a year of Y2K preps, I was greatly enjoying the safety of our imaginary troupe, and simply strolling through the other threads on the forum. I have very good contingencies in place for my immediate family, and had been writing newsletters to extended family and friends for months. In short, I was somewhat content with my y2k "duties", and was just watching for the leaks in the populace dam. The "tripwires" Cory had spoken of so many months ago.

And so, for two weeks, I relaxed. I laughed, kidded and enjoyed each and every one of you. I began to feel a closeness, even friendship, with so many people I had never met, and possibly, never would meet. I was unknowingly seeking shelter among you. But it didnt work. I hit the y2k wall. Not the awareness wall; nor the preparation wall; nor even the panic wall. Just suddenly, I couldnt read any more news. I would go to GNs site, and not be able to open any links. I would open threads on this forum, and then not be able to actually make myself read the news and opinions of the very people I had come to rely upon.

I had built my y2k fortifications, and my heart had began to starve, even before the siege. I had tried to convince myself that I was ready to survive, prepared to meet the challenge. But in reality, I was whistling while passing the graveyard. I still have not come to terms with the ones who will ultimately suffer, if (must I even now say if) y2k is the disaster we know it can be. I have still not dealt with the waking nightmare of an unending line of ragged trick- or-treaters, their masks, faces of hunger. I still have not dealt with the vision of holocaust victims, their bodies stacked like cordwood. Bodies of laughing young people, elderly neighbors, handicapped loved ones. Lovely women, handsome men, beautiful children. (Do not tell me it can not happen again)

We now talk on the forum about body bags, and mortality rates. We now talk of millions without water, and dysentery, cholera, hepititus. What will we be discussing in three months? In six? Who will hold our hand when we weep (as I am weeping now)?

I know; I know. It may not be so bad. It might be just financial. The grid may not fail. The water systems may be fixed. We may all pull together and emerge wiser and closer.

Its just that sometimes down on the bayou the wind sings at night.

And sometimes, it sighs.

-- Lon Frank (postit@here.com), March 22, 1999.

Lon,

Good to hear from you. Glad to see you back.

FWIW, you've come as close to describing my mental state for the last few months as anyone has yet detailed it here on this board.

It does help to know someone else has the same degree of agony.

Last fall I went to a high school football game where my son was playing. Something hit me about all the happy healthy kids and I could only see a grim future for them. I had to go set in the truck and cry for a while.

--Greybear, some circus this is. Lets get rolling. I need some relief

ps, Lon I know that you must know Jerry Clowers line: "Just shoot up here amongst us, somebody got have some relief." We need the Ledbetters now more than ever.

***In memory of a good man - Jerry Clower, may light perpetual shine on him.***

-- Greybear (greybear@home.com), March 22, 1999.

Ah but kind sir - create not a wall, but a boat to shelter (not shield) you and your family from the oncoming rising water (flood? high tide? low tide? summer rain? who knows?). You - of the area so wet and swampy should see the parable: a boat rises above the mess, so no matter how high it gets, the boat stays afloat - as long as it is well built and capably captained. If it is well stocked - well, even Noah only needed 40 days of goods.....and he landed, so they say, on a mountain top.

A wall - on the other hand - tries to shield its residents by being too strong to break, too tall to overflow, to wide to tip over, to tight to leak. But if one doens't know how tall to build it, how wide to make it, or how tight to strenthen its seams - then always one worries about whether to build higher, wider, or taller.

So Lon of the swampland - build a boat, not a wall. Besides, alligators are also sheltered behind your wall - but they don't make nice neighbors.

You've got to get upriver to Natchez - the inland over the Trace.

-- Robert A. Cook, P.E. (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), March 22, 1999.

GB,

Right! I've heard that story by Jerry Clowers about a gazillion times, and it still breaks me up!

It's late here for me, and that last posting kinda took it out of me, you know? But I got an IBC rootbeer in the box, and Ill hold it up your way before I drink it. (Thanks)

And enough of this. I'm gonna go look for my rubber nose. I think I left it in the boat by the Catfish Charlie. (I hope not TOO close) I'm sure Ole Lon the clown will be around pretty soon (and Skippy, too.)

-- Lon Frank (postit@here.com), March 23, 1999.

An Robert, sage friend,

would that ye and me were shipmates on that boat. I know I would sleep like a babe in the off-watch.

-- Lon Frank (postit@here.com), March 23, 1999.

Welcome back Lon!!! We were SO worried about leaving without you. It's OK for clowns to have lots of different emotions:

OK, Donna! Time to gooooooooooo!

-- Gayla Dunbar (privacy@please.com), March 23, 1999.