A while back there was a great thread about us "fruitcakes". That's what I feel like some times. Last night, took my post hole digger out behind my house and dug a deep hole. I didn't even want my family to see this. I keep asking myself, am I paranoid or crasy, or a little of both. My motto is to be prepared for the worst and hope for the best. I felt I had gone a little to far last night, just from an emotional veiw rather than a intellectual one. Well any way after I filled in the hole I found mysef ROLLING ON THE GROUND LOL and LMAO. I can,t believe I doing this.

-- thinkIcan (thinkIcan@make.it), January 26, 1999

Answers

The question is:

Did you put anything in the hole after you dug it and before you filled it back up?

The answer may very well help you understand whether your crazy or not. IMHO anyone who goes around digging holes in the middle of the night for no good reason is more than likely ready to be commited to the nearest mental rehabilitation facility. However, if there was a purpose then we would further have to discuss that. Was it your intention on hiding food, money, so forth? If so, do you find yourself reading the book Treasure Island more than once a week?

I'm not sure from the facts you gave us "I think", but it's pretty clear to me, having spent many, many, many...many years in mental facilities myself and having been subjected to many, many, many, many...many electro shock treatments, that your ready for the ________

Pick which one applies:

a.)Boobyhatch

b.)Nuthouse

c.)Funny Farm

d.)Cracker Factory

e.)Dark side of the Moon

f.)Loony Bin

( If you picked answer number e.) then you were wrong, because everyone knows that there is no dark side of the moon really... as a matter of fact it's ALL dark ! thump thump- thump thump -thump thump)

-- (RodgerWaters@DSOTM.com), January 26, 1999.

One night later you have me ROTFLOLLMAO. Yes I did put "things in the hole, but that's my secret, maybe you can help me with what I should put in my next post hole, That is if they don,t come and get me. I'm planning on getting thru this, if it is more than a bump in the road.

-- thinkI can (thinkIcan@make.it), January 26, 1999.

I had to hide your post real quick by clicking on the back button as my husband came in....sheesh! Keep crazy stuff like this to yourself ;-)

You're the official Loony Yourdonite who first crossed the line...soon we'll all follow ;-)

-- Chris (catsy@pond.com), January 26, 1999.

If all that you are burying will fit in a post hole, you are in sad shape.

I have already buried 80% of the food that I have accumulated. Six gallon buckets wrapped with plastic and duct tape. Metal bails removed. It is separated into five caches. The grass has already grown back over it. No one can find it even if they try.

-- Paul Milne (fedinfo@halifax.com), January 26, 1999.

If things get as bad as you believe, the searchers will have no compassion when looking for your stash. How about if they use a pruner to cut off your wife's fingers one at a time, with a gun to your childrens heads?

Think you might help them find it then?

-- Uncle Deedah (oncebitten@twiceshy.com), January 27, 1999.

Here's how we used to bury the food by products:

"There were two cesspools behind our house  a covered one for excrements, another open one to receive wastewater from washing and bathing. The latter one was the sanitary one, for the stinky black goo was all on the bottom. Whenever the covered pool was full, a farmer scooped it out with a long handled bucket into a wooden cask. His oxen pulled it to his field where he spread around the maggotty soup to plow it under. This made big cabbage, sweet grain and delicious potatoes pop out of the ground. "

-- TTF (seenit@ww2.com), January 27, 1999.

Thank you for your post Paul. I believe the issues are so serious that I have to be very secrative, but I believe when people start to realize how serious this is, thay won't find the idea of hiding or burying "stuff" so ridculous. Their is another level of "GI" that will happen. Until then I hope the funny men with the straight jackets don't come and get me.

-- thinkIcan (thinkIcan@make.it), January 27, 1999.

uncle ya gotta stop smoking before you write that stuff...it's scaring the children, which does no good whatsoever. It also demonstrates a distinct lack of background on your part concerning field interogation techniques. You fail to discern the difference between exercising a convincing level of coercion, and useless torture. here's a clue: effective field interogation is primarily psychological.

sheesh!

Arlin

-- Arlin H. Adams (ahadams@ix.netcom.com), January 27, 1999.

Thank you for your post Paul Milne. I believe the issues are so serious that I have to be very secrative, but I believe when people start to realize how serious this is, thay won't find the idea of hiding or burying "stuff" so ridculous. Their is another level of "GI" that will happen. Until then I hope the funny men with the straight jackets don't come and get me.

-- thinkIcan (thinkican@mak.eit), January 27, 1999.

You people amaze me! Purchase a concrete septic tank. 1500 gallon size or larger. Rent a backhoe and dig the hole yourself. Explanation to the neighbors will be that your replacing your septic tank. Place septic tank in hole, store your food. There's two sides to the septic tank with lids big enough for a grown person to fit into. You can store a lot of food in there.......The cost will be about $500.00.

-- buryitright (buryitright@didit.com), January 27, 1999.

Buryitright-----Great idea, but I don't think I want to put all my eggs in one basket.

-- thinkIcan (thinkIcan@make.it), January 27, 1999.

which brings up another problem:

ground penetrating radar. sure it might *not* be functional post y2k, but I'm not willing to be my life on it.

1. bury your goodies in areas which have a LOT of stuff that will cause 'noise' on a radar image. Think: sites of old trash piles, railroad beds, etc.

2. for every cache, bury at least one (and preferably two or three) decoy cache(s) consisting of old rebar, junk auto parts, bits of this and that, anything that'll show a nice solid image on the radar...

just my 2 cents' worth on that one, Arlin

-- Arlin H. Adams (ahadams@ix.netcom.com), January 27, 1999.

Arlin: Good idea. That makes a lot of sense.

-- Leo (lchampion@ozemail.com.au), January 27, 1999.

Arlin

Despite what you may think about my views on a saner drug policy, I no longer indulge in that intoxicant. An occasional cigar is my only burning vice these days.

As to your other point, my example was crude, but I'll bet Paul would help to dig up his stash in that scenerio.

Sorry if I ruined anyone's sleepytime, I'm actually a nice guy when I have a full belly.

-- Uncle Deedah (oncebitten@twiceshy.com), January 27, 1999.

A friend of mine once had lots and lots of cash, and thought it best to bury it. When he dug it up, it had molded very badly.You might want to consider venting your containers to the above ground.

-- King of Free Estimates (thinkseverythings@OK.now), January 27, 1999.

Paul Milne

I saw you bury that food. My dog was with me and his tail was just a waggin. He's gonna help me get that food with his incredible sniffer. You can bury, but you can't hide. hehehehe Don't be such a dopey bastard. Anyone else who want's free food, let me know. I know where Milne's stashes are.

-- ISWYD (sniffer@yumyum.com), January 27, 1999.

thinkIcan-

Dad, is that you? My dad has been talking of burying his food. He is a doom-n-gloomer, but I dont think that he "needs a rest" just yet.

Sometimes it helps to laugh at ourselves. I do not like the word "fruitcake". Other possibilites are:

1. extremist, alarmist

2. nutcase

3. wacko

4. goofball

5. looney tune

6. one brick shy of a load

7. batty

8. mad as a March hare

You may need help. However, I do not think that burying your Y2K food = yours nuts. It is a good sign that you are asking yourself these questions. It is good sign that you laughed at yourself. Now if you start hearing voices, fearing "they" are coming to get you, digging holes in the carpet, etc. you may need help. Until then, keep on keepin on. Thanks for the thread.

-- kid (Kid@ofafruit.com), January 27, 1999.

that should read: = you're nuts

-- kid (kid@ofafruit.com), January 27, 1999.

"Soldier, my stash is buried over there, now let go of my neck!" "What's that, your hungry and you want me to make you some of that oatmeal?" "Just sit down here and it'll only take me a few minutes to get the water boiling." The weary soldier sits down, he's tired and hungry. I gently slip a 1/2 cup of oatmeal and a box of Decon into the boiling water. "Soldier, would you like some brown sugar to go with your oatmeal?" Hmmm, another dead soldier.

-- OOOOPS (OOOOPS@OOOPS.com), January 27, 1999.

Paul M, I have this hysterical mental picture of you arranging big white rocks on your property spelling

B U T T H E A D S ! ! !

Will you do that for us that have to travel? We'll watch for it... "This is your captain... if you'll look out the left windows of the craft......"

-- Lisa (lisab@shallc.com), January 27, 1999.

My white rocks will say ROTGLMAO.

-- OOOPS (OOOOPS@OOOOPS.com), January 27, 1999.

Kid------Good to hear from you again. I know I can cause you to want to pull your hair out. When I was one of the Senior VP of that Dow Company, I should have listened to you and not go on and on about this Y2K thing with the Board of Directors. Yes they did force me into eary retirement, but yes again they are begging me to come back and give them some insights. Told them I was to busy getting ready to save my own skin and didn't have time trying to solve their huge problem. Keep in touch, love you tons.

-- thinkIcan (thinkIcan@make.it), January 27, 1999.

You know, I'm not Big Dog for nothing ... sniff ... sniff ... hmmm, found another cache! WOOOOOOOOOF!

-- BigDog (BigDog@duffer.com), January 27, 1999.

think I can-

Sorry, wrong dad. Mine was the pres. of his own small chemical mfg co. until he sold out and retired in the late 80s. Now he is busy preparing for Y2K and surfing the net. And planning his bug out packs and torpedos. Last time I saw him he wanted to make sure I had a post hole digger. I do. But I will use other methods. I have trobble handling the digger. Girl and all. I do not think that you are nuts. I hope your kid(s) dont either.

-- kid (kid@ofafruit.com), January 27, 1999.

Kid, I love the fruitcake epithet as well as eating it. In the Y2K/game of life context, there's only 2 kinds of people; the nutcases mentioned above, and then those:

These quotes were taken from actual performance evaluations.

1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."
2. "His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity."
3. "I would not allow this employee to breed."
4. "This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't be."
5. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."
6. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever boot was previously in there."
7. "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."
8. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
9. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."
10. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
11. "This employee should go far -- and the sooner he starts, the better."

These are actual lines from military performance appraisals or OERs (Officer Efficiency Reports)

1. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
2. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.
3. A room temperature IQ.
4. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.
5. A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
6. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
7. A prime candidate for natural deselection.
8. Bright as Alaska in December.
9. One-celled organisms out score him in IQ tests.
10. Donated his body to science before he was done using it.
11. Fell out of the family tree.
12. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
13. Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
14. He's so dense, light bends around him.
15. If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.
16. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
17. If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.
18. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
19. It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.
20. One neuron short of a synapse.
21. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.
22. Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.

So what would you rather see on your job eval? ;-)

Long live the Fruitcakes!

-- Chris (catsy@pond.com), January 27, 1999.

Chris--------Have never laughed so hard in all my life. ROTFLOLLMAO

-- thinkIcan (thinkIcan@make.it), January 27, 1999.

Chris, here's one my kids could always relate to:

A few french fries short of a "Happy Meal"

-- Gayla Dunbar (privacy@please.com), January 27, 1999.

Mommy,

Those mean men hurt my feelings. HA HA HA... No wonder DGI's think that Y2Kers are a pain in the ass.

-- kid (kid@fruit.com), January 27, 1999.

Perhaps the biggest fruitcakes are in aviation.

From Model Aviation, pub. by Academy of Model Aeronautics, Feb. 98.

Maintenance Replies: complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from maintenance crews

Left inside main tire almost needs replacement./Almost replaced left inside main tire.

Test flight OK, except autoland very rough./Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

The autopilot doesn't./It does now.

Something loose in cockpit./Something tightened in cockpit.

Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear./Evidence removed.

DME volume unbelievably loud./Volume set to more believable level.

Dead bugs on windshield./Live bugs on order.

Autopilot in altitute hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent./Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

IFF (Identify Friend or Foe) inoperative./IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

Friction locks cause levers to stick./That's what they're there for.

Number three engine missing./Engine found on right wing after brief search.

-- Old Git (anon@spamproblems.com), January 27, 1999.

Think I Can --

Just don't forget where you buried the stuff!!!!

-- Libby Alexander (libbyalex@aol.com), January 27, 1999.

OOOOPS be careful. What if I thank you for the cup of oatmeal [with the Decon] and then ask you to eat some first. You'll be toast no matter what. You'll die of poisoning or I'll shoot you for trying to poison me.

-- wilgetyou (wilgetyou@army.camp), January 27, 1999.

Not if I vomit on his head first...."Sorry soldier, I am terribly stressed."

-- OOOOPS (OOOPS@OOOPs.com), January 27, 1999.

OOOOPS------ You crack me up. Wish I could met you on the other side of this event, you could keep me in stitches with laugher while I search for my lost caches. How many QUARTERS could you carry home?

-- thinkIcan (thinkIcan@make.it), January 27, 1999.

Some on this BB wouldn't like to meet me, they think I'm too harsh, too matter of fact. But I don't care, I'm having fun and if it makes you laugh that's good. Don't take me too seriously, but you have to admit, my comments do make you want to think.....ahead that is.

-- OOOOPS (OOOPS@OOOPS.com), January 27, 1999.

Chris, priceless! Laughing so hard my fruitcake stash crumbled.

Diane

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), January 27, 1999.