Are you addicted to this asylum? (Humor)

greenspun.com : LUSENET : TimeBomb 2000 (Y2000) : One Thread

1 - Ever have a meal that was not up to you usual standards because oops - you were here just a bit too long, instead of in the kitchen?

2 - Do you feel inexplicably deprived after no access to the forum for a while?

3 - Ever decide to stay here to read that one last post - then next thing you know its tomorrow?

4- Have loved ones ever told you to "get off that damn computer or else"?

5 - When you see the "server busy" message, this is really just a challenge that means keep trying now, and forget about later?

6 - Does your dog cry when you power up because it knows you won't be playing with it for "a little while"?

7 - Has anyone at home caught you ROTFL and you have no explanation to give them that they could possibly understand?

8 - Do you chuckle knowingly at the mere mention or thought of fruitcake, furbys, beanie babies, rubber duckys, geese, groundhogs, or beavers?

9 - Have you bookmarked threads and still can't find stuff?

10 - Have you run out of paper printing threads, or actually know when a regular is 'missing'?

Feel free to add your own.

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@net.com), January 24, 1999

Answers

I am NOT addicted. I can quit any time I want. I just need to go through the New Answers, then hit "Back" and "Reload" to see if anything came in here while I was away. Then I should probably check New Answers again, see if anything came in. . .

-- Old Git (anon@spamproblems.com), January 24, 1999.

Yes.

-- Linda A. (adahi@muhlon.com), January 24, 1999.

Mmmmuuuuuuaaaaaahhhhaaaaahhaahahahahahahahaahhaha
Can we say "personality change" ??
Was eMailed the following list a while back, which after getting Forum-hooked seems actually very mild ;-)

IT'S TIME TO TURN YOUR COMPUTER OFF & READ A [Y2K] BOOK WHEN

1. You wake up at 4 am to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on the way back to bed.

2. You turn off your computer and get this awful empty feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

3. You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free internet access.

4. You laugh at people with 14.4-baud modems.

5. You start using smileys :-) in your snail mail.

6. You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a wordprocessor.com

7. You can't correspond with your mother...she doesn't have a modem.

8. When your e-mail box shows,"no new messages", and you feel really depressed.

9. You don't know the gender of your fifty closest friends because they have neutral screen names and you never bothered to ask.

10. You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you Landscape.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile.

12. After reading this message, you immediately e-mail it to a friend!!!

______________________________________________________________
xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xx

-- Leska (allaha@earthlink.net), January 24, 1999.


Yes ... like a Y2K truth-seeking, guided, anti-ballistic missile ... or a cute fuzzy squirrel, stockpiling "info bytes" for upcoming spring/summer/fall/winter media storms.

Diane

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), January 24, 1999.


And Diane "The Link" Squirrel is one frisky nut-store!

Ashton & Leska in Cascadia, asylum addiction syndrome

xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx

-- Leska (allaha@earthlink.net), January 24, 1999.



And we nominate as first AAS-suffering honorary member: Paul Milne!

-- programmed to notice (deadbuttheadlies@media.con), January 24, 1999.

No, of course not.................................... .............. .........

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), January 24, 1999.

Just refreshing the answer to see what other answers have in; bring it to the top of the "Recent Answers" list for newcomers.

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), January 24, 1999.

No, I'm not addicted at all, I can quit anytime I want to. But I'll quit next week.

-- Not Addicted, just can't quit (sonofdust@net.com), January 24, 1999.

I agree - you and I are definitely not addicted - but the rest of these people I'm a little worried about.

Next thing you know they'l be translating polish, trying to read between the lines and worrying about the shortage of Swedish chainletters.

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), January 24, 1999.



A week or two ago, a poll about whatever was being discussed, and various folks commented that they have never been polled. (Hmmmm, you don't suppose it's because we're ALWAYS on line, do you now?)

I'm half seriously considering not upgrading my computer, in the hope that 11 months from now I'll be FORCED to go cold turkey.

-- Brooks (brooksbie@hotmail.com), January 24, 1999.


Ha! that's a new one ;^O
Please let Y2K be my cold turkey sledgehammer breaking this addiction!

I'm in the early stages where I still *like* this addiction :)

In anticipated grief pre-mourning the loss of the Net :_(

xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx

-- Leska (allaha@earthlink.net), January 24, 1999.


Hmmmn - the server's been busy this afternoon, wonder if I should start a new thread asking if anybody else had a problem connecting into the server? They might be trying to post some important answer to this thread and I wouldn't want them to get a busy signal or anything like that. Gotta keep the signal signal to noise ratio maxmized. 8<)

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), January 24, 1999.

Uh, Gang, that wasn't me before with the last sonofdust e-mail.

Certainly we can quit, And not mind one small bit, We'll go offline, And for a time, Pretend not to have a fit.

When posting to this forum, Observe proper decorum, Start a thread, Go to bed, Check it in the mornin'.

Stay offline for days, This means we change our ways, No more links, Might be a jinx, This forum really pays.

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@net.com), January 24, 1999.


Does it count if you scream "Let me in!!!" when the forum is full?

-- margie mason (mar3mike@aol.com), January 24, 1999.


Uhhmm, I see a little problem here.

If y2k doesn't go down what are we going to talk about next? It's not possible to not read the forums,you're like family!

If it does go down, how are we ever going to not only go cold turkey, but find out how you're all doing?

-- Sue (deco100@aol.com), January 24, 1999.


Part of getting prepared means honing the ESP and telepathy skills. We'll have to run our thoughts along the etheric Net and Web. So work on spidery silken threads. Ooh, feel a thought bouncing on my stands -- it's Uncle Deedah -- he's looking for more peanut butter -- go thru it faster than anticipated. Oh, that's another thing -- we need to work on materialization of our concentrated thoughts. Very good Y2K skill. Gotta go concentrate.

Oh wait, if I work on living without eating and get that down first, I won't have to concentrate on the materialization quite so much. Better work on om both.

xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx x

-- Leska (allaha@earthlink.net), January 24, 1999.


Robert, ROTFL-hysterically.

Leska, is that "OM" or um-m-m-m.

Diane

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), January 24, 1999.


Diane, concentration on either ome will get you the other skills ;-)

The truth is the funniest & truest of all

Ashton & Leska in Cascadia, adding diction

xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx

-- Leska (allaha@earthlink.net), January 24, 1999.


*Stands up and say "Hi, I'm Chris, and I'm a Yourdon Forum Addict"*

Hi Rob, I'm glad you're leading this support gr...er thread.

I answer yes to all 10 questions, but my own dog doesn't cry when I power-up the computer, she's a very obedian and faithful 7 year old Chitzu. She follows me to my desk, and goes under the desk to curl up before I reach the chair and make myself comfortable. But when she hears the familiar sound of Netscape shutting off (I have sound effects turned on) she gets up and starts doing her "let me out" dance...which is often past midnight...dark and cold...I hate that.

One thing I need help with is my huge piles of stacked Y2K print-outs. They're everywhere; my desk is burried under them and many times I find bills 3 months later that were hidden under them. There's piles in on my bedside table, on the bathroom sink and magazine rack. On the kitchen counter and in the den. I found some in the basement today. I think I have a major problem compulsive problem with this printing business, because I have everything already bookmarked and most are cut/pasted unto Word and saved (many need page-layout editing before printing.)

Thank you for listening, I feel better admitting this now.

-- Chris (catsy@pond.com), January 24, 1999.


*Stands up and says "Hi, my name is Chris, and I'm a Yourdon Forum Addict"*

Thanks Rob, I'm glad you're leading this support gr...er thread.

I answer yes to all 10 questions, but my own dog doesn't cry when I power-up the computer, she's a very obediant and faithful 7 year old Chitzu. She follows me to my desk, and goes under the desk to curl up before I reach the chair and make myself comfortable. But when she hears the familiar sound of Netscape shutting off (I have sound effects turned on) she gets up and starts doing her let-me-out dance...which is often past midnight...dark and cold...I hate that.

One thing I need help with is my huge piles of Y2K info print-outs. They're everywhere; my desk is burried under them and many times I find bills 3 months later that were hidden under them. There's piles on my bedside table, on the bathroom sink and magazine rack. On the kitchen counter and in the den. I found some in the basement today. I think I have a major compulsive problem with this printing business, because I have everything already bookmarked, and most are cut/pasted unto Word and saved (many needed page-layout editing before printing.)

Thank you for listening, I feel better admitting this now.

-- Chris (catsy@pond.com), January 24, 1999.


*Stands up and says "Hi, my name is Chris, and I'm a Yourdon Forum Addict"*

Thanks Rob, I'm glad you're leading this support gr...er thread.

I answer yes to all 10 questions, but my own dog doesn't cry when I power-up the computer, she's a very obediant and faithful 7 year old Chitzu. She follows me to my desk, and goes under the desk to curl up before I reach the chair and make myself comfortable. But when she hears the familiar sound of Netscape shutting off (I have sound effects turned on) she gets up and starts doing her let-me-out dance...which is often past midnight...dark and cold...I hate that.

One thing I need help with is my huge piles of Y2K info print-outs. They're everywhere; my desk is burried under them and many times I find bills 3 months later that were hidden under them. There's piles on my bedside table, on the bathroom sink and magazine rack. On the kitchen counter and in the den. I found some in the basement today. I think I have a major compulsive problem with this printing business, because I have everything already bookmarked, and most are cut/pasted unto Word and saved (many needed page-layout editing before printing.)

Thank you for listening, I feel better now that I admitted this.

-- Chris (catsy@pond.com), January 24, 1999.


*Stands up and says "Hi, my name is Chris, and I'm a Yourdon Forum Addict"*

Thanks Rob, I'm glad you're leading this support gr...er thread.

I answer yes to all 10 questions, but my own dog doesn't cry when I power-up the computer, she's a very obediant and faithful 7 year old Chitzu. She follows me to my desk, and goes under the desk to curl up before I reach the chair and make myself comfortable. But when she hears the familiar sound of Netscape shutting off (I have sound effects turned on) she gets up and starts doing her let-me-out dance...which is often past midnight...dark and cold...I hate that.

One thing I need help with is my huge piles of Y2K info print-outs. They're everywhere; my desk is burried under them and many times I find bills 3 months later that were hidden under them. There's piles on my bedside table, on the bathroom sink and magazine rack. On the kitchen counter and in the den. I found some in the basement today. I think I have a major compulsive problem with this printing business, because I have everything already bookmarked, and most are cut/pasted into MSWord and saved (many needed page-layout editing before printing.)

Thank you for listening, I feel better now that I admitted this.

-- Chris (catsy@pond.com), January 24, 1999.


arrrghhh!!!!!!!! I knew this would happen to me someday! My link is verrryyyyyy sllllooooowww...and after I clicked on submit the first time it just hung there...so I took advantage of the time to proof-read and edit my post...twice *blush*

I'm sooo embarrased!

-- Chris (catsy@pond.com), January 24, 1999.


Chris, *really* addicted! LOL! Love ya!

-- Leska (allaha@earthlink.net), January 24, 1999.

Actually, she editted it three times and submitted it four times, but I'm being picky.

-- Robert A. Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), January 24, 1999.

Of course I'm not addicted. Why I've managed to go 3 days, 2 hours and 4 minutes without checking in! More than once! Ofcourse only when I'm working *sigh*. See you all again soon :)

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), January 25, 1999.

In general...

* Unaddicted people don't wonder if they're addicted to this forum * Addicts surround themselves with other addicts who have the same problem, to a worse degree * Addicts blame others (DGIs ?) for their addictive and self-destructive behaviour * Change will not come until the addict admits s/he cannot change the addictive behaviour without new information, help and/or insight
There is a way out. My new book, available through Amazon.com for only US$37.21, outlines a painless, easy plan for breaking the TimeBomb2000 dependency. Tens of people are living sunnier, simpler, more productive lives...

-- Grrr (grrr@grrr.net), January 25, 1999.


I am not addicted...just because the forum was still SO BUSY AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT THAT A POOR GUY IN THE DC BURBS COULDN'T EVEN GET IN TO CHECK FOR FIVE MINUTES, it's not like the rest of you should feel GUILTY or anything....I mean it's not like I stayed up until ALMOST 1 AM trying to get into this stupid forum to see what had been written, only to discover that no matter what I did I got the "we're sorry" screen...

mumble mutter mumble not addicted mumble mutter, just interested, *that's all!

Arlin

-- Arlin H. Adams (ahadams@ix.netcom.com), January 25, 1999.


The Asylum support group is now called to order from out of the archives.

-- longtimelurker (longtime@lurking.now), May 30, 1999.

Uh, hello, my name is Linda and I'm a Yourdon forum addict.

I'm grateful for the support I get from my fellow addicts. I must confess that I really don't come to this forum for Ed (sorry, Ed, but I don't know you and have benefitted from the kindness and advice of many, many others beside yourself.)

I come to this forum for the cyber companionship of lots of good friends. Those who listen, those who empathize and those who care, Leska and Ashton, Tricia, Greybear, Donna-Cannotsay@this.time, Mr Kennedy, Chuck, a night driver and his missus, etc. (And this is just the 'short list', have I told you lately how much I appreciate you?)

I come for understanding when my family/friends think I'm nuts (I was going to say when they think I'm a fruitcake but I think that's a good thing!) Long live our Fruitcake Freedoms!

I also come this forum when I need practical and pragmatic information on any number of subjects. Rob Michaels, Old Git, and Diane Squires take the award in this category.

So, if that means that I'm an addict, then SO BE IT. I shall remain addicted to friendship, being a person who thinks for myself and one who cares for the future of her family, friends, and community.

I think we addicts here have nothing to be ashamed of. Am I right?! Linda

-- newbiebutnodummy (Linda@home.com), May 30, 1999.


I'm not addicted. I can quit. Any time I want. I have quit before. at least 4 times last week (gotta go to work SOMETIME doan- cha-no)

Chuck

-- Chuck, a night driver (rienzoo@en.com), May 30, 1999.


We can quit too. Especially when we have to shut-down because the puter memory can't load pages efficiently any more. Ten minutes' rest, then RAM ready to workhorse again. Can even do it without a crash forcing it first!

xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxx

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), May 30, 1999.


I quit before and I can do it again... really!

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@I.canquit), October 18, 1999.

So can we! LOL
Hi there, Chief ;^)

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), October 18, 1999.

Hi Ashton and Leska.

You know that you've been on the forum too long when you close your eyes and still see SERVER BUSY.

And ever since Phil 'fixed' refresh I am anything but refreshed waiting to see what has been answered!

-- (sonofdust@addicted.forever), October 18, 1999.


I'm not addicted, oh no, not me. Why I've quit at least as many times as y'all.

-- Old Git (anon@spamproblems.com), October 18, 1999.

What's really bad is, we've actually both *dreamt* about the Forum, reading threads in sleep and actually dream-typing responses and hitting "Submit"

Is that subliminal or what?

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), October 18, 1999.


LOL. And Gayla too - she had a nightmare (called it a dream) that I was moeing her lawn! Good thing Dear Mrs. Michaels didn't see that one :)

-- (sonofdust@got.landscapers?), October 18, 1999.

Rob, you were Moeing her lawn? I think I'd rather dream of you Curlying my lawn.

-- Old Git (anon@spamproblems.com), October 18, 1999.

Yeah, that's what she posted!

Curlying? Hmmmmm. I think Marie has these thingys called curlers but they are very small and it would take a real long time to curl a lawn with them. But for you Old Git, well, how many curlerers would I need?

-- (sonofdust@no.curls), October 18, 1999.


Nyuk nyuk nyuk.

Time for lights out now. Sweet Dreams all (Hope mine aren't about lawns :)

-- (sonofdust@good.night), October 18, 1999.


Wow, you'd really curlerer my lawn? Truly an offer I can't refuse. Those trolls say we're all mean, selfish wackos, and we're not mean and selfish at all.

-- Old Git (anon@spamproblems.com), October 18, 1999.

I love Moe, Curley and Larry!! But, I said mowing!! :-)

-- Gayla (privacy@please.com), October 18, 1999.

REHAB is for QUITTERS!

-- not a quitter (taxslave@webtv.net), October 18, 1999.

Addicted? Me??

My hubby asked me if I had gotten the latest "Y2k Patch"....Of course, I *completely* misunderstood him and told him I could quit anytime I wanted, and didn't need a patch to help me quit!!

Besides, those darn patches are a poor substitute for the 'real' thing!

;-)

-- Wilferd (WilferdW@aol.com), October 19, 1999.


You too, Wilferd? A special real sticky glue-patch to you, to keep you here :-) Like Rob's duct tape ;^)

You know the addiction is bad when you think "and a big smooch ta you too" whenever you see the words "to you" ...

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), October 19, 1999.


A&L,

Stop it! : ) Your nod to corrine made me laugh so loud I woke my husband.

His comment?

"You *still* down there??"

: )

-- Wilferd (WilferdW@aol.com), October 19, 1999.


This question is about:

A) Flint.

B) Sir Hoff.

C) Y2K Pro.

D) All of the above.

E) All of the above, and us doomers.

Me, I just come here when I've got nothing else to do. OK, the forum is in my start-up group, ahh, ummm, OK, at work and at home. But this has nothing to do with it! It just sits there, hanging in a background window, I hardly ever see it...

Why not? I get the latest stock quotes. Absolute first on Y2K news. Everything else OT that will be on CNN tomorrow, on the next day, or next week. Oh yea, and this thread was about HUMOR!

But hey, it's just a public forum, about a "hot" topic, that, IMHO, ain't gonna chill soon. Yea, I like it here. Got a bunch of doomer programmers to share with. Doomer doctors, doomer engineers. A bunch of good, free advice as far as I'm concerned. And, good old, John Q. Public. All in one place...

Yea, I'm hooked... Tick... Tock... <:00=

-- Sysman (y2kboard@yahoo.com), October 19, 1999.


My husband SAYS I'm addicted to this forum. Just because I am lurking everyday for many hours doesn't mean I'm addicted. And just to prove to him that I wasn't, I went to Babbages and bought Monty Python's Meaning of Life game for my PC. So just to show him I'm not addicted I play the game in between Server Busy times. So there!

-- Debi (LongTimeLurker@shy.com), October 19, 1999.

Fuck no :)

-- Andy (AUVENGER@cs.com), October 19, 1999.

It just feels right that all you addicts should have checked in before me. ROFLMAO! And while I'm here, let me tell you all (in keeping with the flame-game-blame war policy) that I am holding each and every one of you personally accountable for my uh, little problem,...you see, I'm not an addict,...just a problem-user. I really didn't burn the hash browns for yesterday's breakfast because I was in the middle of posting here. Strictly a coincidence, circumstantial. I really don't give up sleep to be online here,...I uh, uh, have entrenched primary insomnia. Ya!

i'm not so far gone
as to think in limerick
or haiku. not yet.

So, you see, my little problem has nothing to do with me at. It's the bad company I keep, (really mom it is!),...it's all YOUR fault!! :-p --She in the sheet, upon the hilltop, who would never have dreamed of wearing something so uh, revealing before coming here. It's been a breezy 18 months, and It's all your...oh! Wait!...it's all Ed's fault!!!

-- Donna (moment@pacbell.net), October 19, 1999.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Late nights.

Work interrupted.

*Sigh*

-- mushroom (mushroom_bs_too_long@yahoo.com), October 19, 1999.


Up again.

-- (need@laugh.now), December 13, 1999.

Well are you or not? C'mon now, let us know!

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@home.now), December 30, 1999.

I am so addicted, I own a store and I would hope no customers would come in and interupt my lurking, I would leave at 6:ooam to log on at work even though I didn't open till 10:00am. My family thinks i'm nuts, I keep printing out everything I see. Help!

-- Lil Red (I'mnotaddicted@i'mnoti'mnot.com), December 30, 1999.

"Rehab is for QUITTERS"

Laughed so hard it brought tear to my eyes - and I wasn't going to use initials!!!

My problem is when I light up one after the other.

-- gary (a@a.com), December 30, 1999.


Hi Lil Red. Don't think I ever 'talked' with you before. Don't you worry at all. We are all in the same boat here. None of us are really addicted, including you. That's the good news. Now, I gotta tell ya that you truly are nuts, but so are we! The secret is to enjoy being nuts. And you can use all that paper from the print outs to start fires with if the juice goes off. See? Ya gotta be practical. Now if that there job is interfering with your posting and lurking, well, quit it! The lurking and posting I mean :) And then you can just lurk and post when you are off, after you shorten your store hours a bit. How about being open only on Wednesdays for example, and then calling in sick? Get the idea?

Gary: Lighting up one after the other isn't a problem. Lighting one up and then realizing you already had one lit - now that's a problem! Lighting the wrong end can be troublesome too.

-- (sonofdust@up.late), December 31, 1999.


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