I know about the dryer gremlins, but I hadn't realized that they hang out in coat closets, too! When I went to grab a pair of gloves the other day, I found several single gloves and mitts, but not ONE pair. Does anyone else out there nave this problem?

PS - if it disturbs you to read anything on this forum that doesn't have Y2K relevance, think about how gremlins stealing gloves affects those of us dealing with COLD on a regular basis - how many extra pairs do I need to stock up, and where can I hide them to keep them off of gremlin hands???

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), January 02, 1999

Answers

Several solutions, Tricia.

1. Amputation.

2. Moose Antlers:- place gloves on 5-pronged antlers on moose head on wall. Repeat with other animal's antlers you Canucks have dotted about on your walls.

3. Hide gloves in washer dryer; closet gremlins are rumoured to be afraid to come out of the closet.

4. Cows:- hide gloves on udders.

5. Bulls - on second thoughts forget about this one.

6. Wear two pairs of gloves constantly, much like the O.J. Simpson courtroom debacle.

7. Force husband and kids to do the same.

8. Force husband to use thumb of one glove as a willie-warmer at all times. Use spare glove as a makeshift contraceptive device when first glove is not "in use."

9. Erm, thats it.

-- Andy (2000EOD@prodigy.net), January 02, 1999.

Hi Leska. Since I lost my really bright red sock, I have developed a technique which may help you in the future, even with gloves... get some duct tape and tape 'em together. I have done this with all of my socks, except the lonely really bright red one that I still have.

Hope this helps.

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@net.com), January 02, 1999.

Thanks, Rob, for the hint.

It shouldn't cost a mint,

And in this awful weather

It just might make things better

Though a problem you might solve

Is how to get into my glove

While it's duct-taped to its mate -

Thanks in advance, you're great!

ps, being mistaken for Leska is no insult!

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.nett), January 02, 1999.

Just had a thought. Items 5 and 8, substitute mitts for gloves.

-- Andy (2000EOD@prodigy.net), January 02, 1999.

LOL Tricia. Hope you had a happy and "fruitful" New Year. I'm listening to Art Bell's re-braodcast of when Ed was on back in August and am sleep deprived (depraved?) so that is my only excuse for calling you leska! Check out the FRL thread for an update. Bye for now, Rob (yawn).

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@net.com), January 02, 1999.

Rob, wasn't it a little awkward walking around with duct tape around your two socks? Did you trip and fall a lot?

-- sockeater (Sockeater@net.com), January 02, 1999.

For when its really cold, The duct tape it will hold Two pairs of socks, That act like locks, And these you do not fold.

On each side of your foot, One duct-taped pair you put, Then tape the whole thing 'round Your foot both pairs abound, A way cool duct-sock boot!

If you have a diamond drill, Slice a fruitcake with some skill, To make a blade you'll have some wait, But when you're done you'll have a skate, To duct-tape to you're boot as well.

It's not awkward I tell you, Just make sure you don't use glue, Wrap it tight, You'll be alright, It is warmer than a shoe!

Before you put them in the dryer, Remove the duct tape so theres no fire, And hopefully all of the gnomes, Will leave your ductless socks alone, Try this, you know that I'm no liar!

-- Rob Michaels (sonofdust@net.com), January 02, 1999.

Tricia,

Wear non-matching mittens and gloves -- be an original in your community! You may start a mitten liberation trend. Keep 'em all jumbled in one basket by the front door, and resist the temptation to "pair" or duct tape them.

You'll feel much freer.

Diane

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), January 02, 1999.

>>Tricia, Wear non-matching mittens and gloves -- be an original in your community! You may start a mitten liberation trend. [Keep 'em all jumbled in one basket by the front door, and resist the temptation to "pair" or duct tape them.]

You'll feel much freer.

Diane <<

Be careful Ms. tricia, they may get cross - polinated and you'll end up with mittens with two hands, or gloves with three fingers etc. Or, worse of all, gloves with no openings at all. They are really tough to put on. Some may even be too small to use.

S.O.B.

-- sweetolebob (La) (buffgun@hotmail.com), January 02, 1999.

Thanks for the tip, Diane. But I think SOBob is right; I found a 'split' mitt the other day - it had a thumb and a finger and the rest was mitten. Oh the horrors of cross pollination. Now I have to find a non-hybrid source for my mittens and figure out not only how to keep them safe from gremlins, but how to prevent future cross pollination!

-- Tricia the Canuck (jayles@telusplanet.net), January 02, 1999.

Someone mentioned amputation as a means to control the problem. BE CAREFUL! If you amputate your left hand, chances are - all the gremlins will steal the right glove only! Then, although you will have several gloves left, none of them will be right.

Or, consider the alternative. If you amputate your right hand, you will only have one hand left. And, of course, the gremlins will take the right gloves and leave you with what's left. And, since you will have nothing left to wear that is right, you will still be left in the cold.

-- Christine A. Newbie (vaganti01@aol.com), January 02, 1999.

You can always put the spare mitt over the stump :)

Apologies to Tricia, I was feeling very mischievous last night ;)

-- Andy (2000EOD@prodigy.net), January 02, 1999.

Be careful, tricia- finding that non hybrid source is not a cure for cross pollination. If you have 2 different types of open pollinated mittens, they will still cross pollinate- maybe that accounts for the multi colored mismatches in Dianes basket? However, if you keep open pollinated mittens of all the same type, you will not only have true to type mittens, it will help discourage the mitten gremlins.

-- Damian Solorzano (oggy1@webtv.net), January 03, 1999.

Thanks to all respondents for good laughs, precisely why I started this thread. My left and right mitts I will keep together, but separated from the left and right gloves - hopefully all will be well! Now, what about the missing scarves (mufflers, for the Brits)?

-- Tricia the Canuck (jaylse@telusplanet.net), January 04, 1999.

Dave Barry:

http://www7.mercurycenter.com/columnists/barry/docs/db010299.htm

funny......................

-- Lisa (hi@yall.you), January 04, 1999.