Usually I am moving along, making my preparations as diligently as I can, but do you folks ever get times where you just get depressed and scared and really worried about how we, and our kids, and grandkids and loved ones, will get through this? What will REALLY happen? How long it will last? Does it ever make anyone else want to wake up from a bad dream? And if so...how do you get past that? My only consolation is that I'm scared but still have plenty of food and water and warmth. What will happen when people only begin to get scared when they don't have any of that?

-- Melissa (financed@forbin.com), September 24, 1998

Answers

Melissa:

When I was a kid, I would lay awake at night wondering what the rest of my life would be like, and wondering about life after death. I would get really scared, because there were so many things I wanted to know, but could only learn when the time came. I took me a long time to learn to "let it go."

I guess Y2K is like so many other things in life. When I get in the car and drive down the road, I know that I could die in a crash. But life is full of risks, even if I just stay at home. So I buckle my seat belt, try to drive carefully, keep the car in good condition. That's all I can do.

Sometimes I feel like there isn't enough time to prepare, but when is there ever enough time to prepare for that which is unkown? We all keep looking for facts, trying to judge the risks, and preparing as we see fit. When the time comes, we will know we did as much as we could, even if it proves to be too little. If we are honest, now and then, we will not have failed.

I am by no means a religious person, but this prayer might help:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Also this Sanskrit Proverb:

Look to this day, For it is life, The very life of life. In its brief course lie all the realities and verities of existence, The bliss of growth, The splendor of action, The glory of power - For yesterday is but a dream, and tomorrow is only a vision, But today, well lived, Makes every yesterday a dream of happiness and every tomorrow a vision of hope. Look well, therefore, to this day.

I know exactly what you're talking about, and I try to concentrate on the parts I have control over. - I'll shut up now.

-- Mike (gartner@execpc.com), September 25, 1998.

I'm not a psychologist, but your depression will soon disappear as time goes by. I went through the syndrome. When I attained a certain degree of preparation, I then started to relax and focus more on enjoying life and the present day. At some point, you have to stop and smell the roses. You need to take a break from it. Take a vacation, or a weekend away for relaxation. You have to remember that whatever happens is beyond your control. How you repare for it is in your control.

-- Bardou (bardou@baloney.com), September 25, 1998.

Fear of the unknown is one of our basic fears. Preparing helps to lessen it. Plus, we know that most of problems will occure in the next 24 months. The best case I think will be economic turmoil (pre- 2000 and post-2000), worst case "Road Warrior" or Amish lifestyle (depends on your view of society). In either case, the times are a changin! I now know more about food storage than I ever thought I would. I spend more time at the shooting range than the golf course. That which doesn't kill us, makes us stronger?

-- Bill (bill@microsoft.com), September 25, 1998.

Melissa, you are like a lot of us..busy encouraging others, then come the times when we are still and everything sinks in and we become scared and need encouragement ourselves. It is wonderful when we are going through struggles to have someone say to us, it's okay, everything will be alright. But y2k is not one of those struggles where everything is going to be alright. A verse in the Bible I am reminded of often is "when times are good be happy...but when times are bad remember that God made one as well as the other." Helps me to remember to be happy and enjoy life right now, even in the midst of preparing ( and possibly for the worst) because in many places all over the world people are suffering horrible things, not even related to y2k. These times right now might just well be the best we will see in a very long time. I am still so thankful that there is, right now, food in the stores, money in the banks, water to drink, electricity, jobs to go to, etc. I refuse to let y2k rob me of any more precious time than it is going to before long. Like the song says..."This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it!" I feel that our abundant days are winding down, so I will make the most of those that are left, appreciating every second of this warm weather, too, before the bitter cold gets here. This is how I cope and keep the depression away, at least for now. :-) Blondie

-- Blondie Marie (Blondie@future.net), September 25, 1998.

Melissa, Sometimes fear is a good thing. Sometimes pain is a good thing. If there is something big and harry with long fangs just outside the circle of fire light it is a good thing to feel fear. It will help you prepare by pumping adrenalin for you. If you injure yourself some way the pain is a good thing, it tells you to stop doing that.

Unreasoned fear or needless pain are to be avoided (obviously) but don't confuse justifable fear with unreasonable fear.

I personally feel the fear in great waves, someting almost overpowering. My reation is to try to focus the energy into DOING something. It seems to help.

The following is not a metaphor: I *have* sat in the fire light with something BIG and HARRY with LONG FANGS just out there somewhere in the dark. On a hunting trip in Alaska, after all but myself and my best friend had flown out (with most of the supplies) we had one more night to stay. Naturally since we were through hunting we had packed most everything, including flashlights and all the large guns and sent them out on the last flight. IT was out there. Walking aroung, huffing, pawing, and I guess deciding if IT wanted a late nite snack.

The point of that was that though I have know the REAL fear from some phisical IT out there, that fear doesn't hold a candle to the fear now of the "unknown" future.

I really hate to paraphrase the President but I really DO "feel your fear". You are not alone. And I do not think you will be alone in the future. This forum supplies me with a lot of hope that there are enough people around that have a core of civilization in them that we will not be completely alone.

HOPE, PRAY, and ACT

Trust whatever power-greater-than-you that you believe in.

Go read some Robert Heinlein. No, this is not a silly suggestion. His early works talk a lot about human kind and what a tough resilient lot we really are. You are too. You just don't have the confidence yet. You'll get there. Try "Tunnel in the Sky" by RH.

Neph the Fearfull - Beware the Stobor

-- Neph the Fearfull (twicebit@onceshy.com), September 25, 1998.

The short answer to your question is yes. Anyone with a grain of common sense is scared at the prospect of what may happen. It's a natural reaction to a threat, the old 'fight-or-flight' response.

My personal faith sustains me through troubled times. I believe that God has my future in His hands and He will see me through this crisis. Yes, I am afraid, but I am not without hope.

As for family and friends, I don't have the resources to help them. I will do what I can, but my own family is my first responsibility. That's simply the way it is.

Hope this helps...

-- JR (joertexas@earthlink.net), September 25, 1998.

I don't so much get scared as I get tense and angry. Sometimes I want to grab people and shout "Why aren't you preparing?" It takes a lot to scare me, I've always been deadly calm. I think it has something to do with being part Swedish. I am weird for a girl, I don't even cry at sad movies. I get very upset when people can't think outside the box. Do you know what I mean? People's thoughts are trapped inside the box of their previous experiences "This has never happened before therefore it will never happen". I want to scream "You've never died before does that mean you never will?" I get frustrated. Like I said, I'm weird for a girl. Or maybe I'm just plain weird.

-- Amy Leone (aleone@amp.com), September 25, 1998.

NOT weird, Amy - lovely. Thanks!

-- Melissa (financed@forbin.com), September 25, 1998.

So anyway, I like the philosopher Kant. He taught that our understanding of truth is limited by our perception (how we filter and process information) and our perception is based on our previous experiences. So when I get frustrated with people, I remember that they have to filter things based on their past experience. That's why we get "That can't happen" and "It's just a hoax". People have been tricked repeatedly by other people trying to make money. I know I have! Kant was a brilliant man, I'm glad I studied him. I'll shut up now.

-- Amy Leone (aleone@amp.com), September 25, 1998.

I tried to warn a couple of "friends". The response I got was "Well, if anything happens I will be coming over to your house." My pastor even said this to me! Guess I should buy a whole lot of rice.

Mike

-- Mike (justmike11@yahoo.com), September 25, 1998.

Mike

That is why I stopped trying to warn the locals. You cannot buy enough food to feed everybody you know. Best to SHHHH. This was an easy thing for me to decide after being looked upon as a nutcase.(I am, in reality, merely goofy) If they end up hungry and unprepared because they didn't listen, they will remember who to see. "Hey everybody, I remember Mike telling me about this, I'll bet he has lots of food."

Knock knock.

Who is there.

Why, it is us, your pals, and our hungry families.

Then comes the decision, "Do I shoot my former friends and nieghbors before they overrun me and take all I've worked so hard for, or do I let them in, and later watch MY family starve?" Not an easy thing to decide, is it? Trust me, if they are hungry, and know that you have food, they aren't going away.

Another solution is to try and hide what you have in a 'concealed construction' room. Depending on your building skills, the layout of your house and your deviousness, this my be a good route to go. Then let them in and show them around "See, nothing here". But you better do a good job of hiding your stash.

OR, you could spend your life savings on food, and try to barter your way to 'post apocalypse' riches. But if your wrong about the severity or the duration, you'll have no money and nuttin' but eats.

Far too many of us will face these types of tough decisions before long, best to decide now which way you will go. I have gone into 'quiet mode' to try and minimize the possibility of gunning down hungry people in the near future, but if it came down to the ugly truth, what is mine is mine, try to take it at your own risk. HMMMM, maybe hiding it is a good plan after all, but wear your holster while they search.

PS, with issues like these floating in my head, and Ma in her kerchief, snug in our bed, yes, I get scared from time to time.

"I beg your pardon, I never promised you a rose garden"

-- Uncle Deedah (oncebitten@twiceshy.com), September 25, 1998.

Sorry, I forgot to ask.

Neph, I am somewhat unclear, did IT eat you? Are you contacting us via the Harry Houdini plan?

-- Uncle Deedah (oncebitten@onceshy.com), September 25, 1998.

With appologies to Hunter S. thompson:

"When the going gets weird, we weird just grin!"

CR

-- Chuck a Night Driver (rienzoo@en.com), September 25, 1998.

If people say "I'll just come to your house" you should say "I'll only have enough for my family". If you don't refute them, you leave them with the expectation that they can come to your house. An ounce of prevention....is worth a pound of ammo.

-- Amy Leone (aleone@amp.com), September 25, 1998.

I get scared, because I have not yet moved off the fence. I think things could get uncomfortable, but the ugly gnaws at the back of my brain. I'm taking steps to prepare, but can't always decide if they're sillly or not. The weirdest thing is I find myself driving down the road, looking at literally hundreds of people in their vehicles every day and wonder, "I wonder if they know? Are they preparing? What if they're not?" Man, there could be trouble.

-- margie mason (mar3mike@aol.com), September 25, 1998.

Unc, Two guys about to go bear hunting. One sets down and starts to put on his running shoes. The other says "Why are you doing that? You can't outrun a bear" First guy says "I don't need to outrun a bear, I only need to outrun YOU"

Acutally a V_E_R_Y large fire and chunks of burning wood tossed "out there" sufficed. Sleep was not to be found that night.

One of the MOST beautiful sights I've ever seen was that plane returning.

Since then I have N-E-V-E-R let someone separate me from my primary weapon.

BTW, we found tracks around the next morning that measured 8.5 inches. (That's not counting the claw marks)

No, IT didn't eat me. But he was a really good friend and I'll miss the poor old slow sod.

Neph the Penitent

-- Neph the Penitent (oncebit@twiceshy.com), September 25, 1998.

Funny, we have the same saying here concerning gators. Another of my favorites- better to have and not need...

-- Uncle Deedah (oncebitten@twiceshy.com), September 25, 1998.

Melissa, I don't get scared, but sometimes the urgency of the whole thing is very intense. I do have to "fight" against the feeling of despair sometimes. Having a 15 & 19 year old is tough. What kind of future will they have? They are planning and working towards their future careers- will it be in vain? What will life after 2000 be like?

-- Gayla Dunbar (privacy@please.com), September 25, 1998.

I'm still emotionally blank at the y2k issue, though i comprehend its magnitude. I find myself getting quite strong irrational fears over unrelated and trivial issues. This is some kind of displacement(?) phenomenum, at least i kinda understand it, no clue what to do. I can barely do any preparing because i'm really poor. So i just surf more, and more. Hope i'm not still surfing and becoming more and more aware on dec 31 '99. I know enough already, but i'm financially paralysed. it sucks.

-- 'hn (amazed@itall.com), September 26, 1998.

I share many of the fears, already listed here. Like Margie, I often wonder how many of those strangers are aware and prepared. At the grocery store, while I'm buying beans and rice, I have to wonder how many have no more than just a couple days worth of food in their house. Like Gayla, I wonder what kind of world there will be for my child. I have a beautiful, gifted, musically inclined, intelligent 11 year old daughter. (please allow me my brag!) I worry what kind of world there will be when she becomes a woman, gets married and has her own family. Like 'hn, I worry about money, or the lack there of. I worry about not having the financial resources to prepare as I want to.

But having said all that, I must say I remain cautiously optimistic that me and mine will survive, although a little worse for wear. In my job as a probation officer, I deal with addicts, thieves, sex offenders and generally just-plain-messed up people, every day. My days are filled with negativity and I live with a certain sense of fear. After all, I leave myself open to harm if I'm not always aware of my surroundings and who is in them. So I am cautious and I always remember that danger can lie in both expected and unexpected places. At every conference and training opportunity I brush up on my self defense techniques.

But, I refuse to give in to the fear. If I spend my days consumed with the fear of what may happen I will not be able to accept or enjoy the bliss that comes from that beautiful daughter of mine. So I accept that I must be aware and I take precautions. I've accepted the fact that if someone wnats to come over that desk at me, they will. All I can do is be prepared to defend myself.

I view y2k much the same way. I am aware of the possibilities and I believe that we are in for quite a time. But all I can do is prepare, as best I can and make sure I can defend myself and my family. Rather that be with a gun or a can of beans! But until that happens, I plan to go to flute recitals and listen to reports on ancient egypt, from my one little ray of sunshine.

Good luck to all!

-- Gina (gngdecker@ckt.net), September 27, 1998.

Trouble is Melissa, you have never studied military intelligence. In MI you have to prepare scenarios for the worst the enemy can do, knowing all the time that the worst almost certainly won't happen. It can make you paranoid(see any history of the early Cold War), or it can make you overly complacent(Pearl Harbor). The thing you must learn to do is to walk the middle ground - prepare for the worst in a reasonable fashion (don't bet the farm ) but expect the reality to be much better. This allows you to keep your sanity, while expecting a certain degree of chaos and unexpected surprizes in your future. Buck up, odds are very good that things won't be nearly as bad as some of the doomsayers are predicting - though I wouldn't believe the folks who seem to think the whole thing will be a big nothing either. Walk the middle ground, don't spend all your time worrying about something you can't prevent, and remember you ancestors had MUCH worse things to worry about.

About bears - I once almost fell over one in the dark. He snuffled at me (they grunt like pigs) and then decided I was no threat and left me alone. Sometimes the best outcome does happen!

-- Paul Davis (davisp1953@yahoo.com), September 29, 1998.

Pual Davis says: Walk the middle ground, don't spend all your time worrying about something you can't prevent, and remember you ancestors had MUCH worse things to worry about.

Unless we are to believe in Atlantis, we must realise that none of our ancestors have experienced life in a city of 2-12 million people, as that city looses most of its essential infrastructure in a very short space of time. Maybe some war victim - ancestors have seen such scenes, but I'm sure it was no picanic. On the question of "walk the middle ground", I find this attitude most daft. If the evidence strongly supports one "extreme" or other, then believe in it!, (provisionally.) Middle ground waffle is fine for those with too little confidence in their cognition and intuition, and is a good modus operandi for any budding obsequious corpora-drones, but as a guide to judging evidence it is weak.

-- I'd guess the spooks pay us some attention?.. ('hn@woohoo.com), October 02, 1998.

I believe all have some fear, but I believe that we can use this time to prepare. I believe in God, and I believe He is warning people of the rough times ahead, just as the old testament (genesis 40-45) 7 years of plenty and 7 years of famine but God sent a warning to get ready. We can trust that since God loves us enough to warn us, He will be God enough to take care of His. We are blessed. We are now in the plenty mode, so even IF this is Not as bad as predicted, we are being good stewards by simply using what we have now. IF this gets as bad as predicted, you will see non-believers begin to Pray.

-- Annoymous (NOVIRUS@AOL.COM), October 03, 1998.

Thanks to everyone who contributed-I know it helped me a lot. I forgot who said it, but it's true; we dont know everything that will happen in our life-even disregarding y2k-so it is crazy to think we have to think of everything(although you have to try). Without bringing up specific spiritual beliefs, I'm inclined to believe "when your time is up, your time is up". Obviously that doesn't exuse stupid and reckless behavior-ANYWAY-Im getting off track. I think one good thing from all this, is that I always seemed to be unable to enjoy the moment: as a single mom, I was always preoccupied or worried about something. Even when I was playing with my son,I wasn't really ENJOYING it, I was worried about next month's rent or all the laundry that needed done. I think it is human nature to think,"Next year will be better." Now it is sinking in that right now, I'M RICH!! I'M HAPPY! MY SON IS HEALTHY! I HAVE EVERYTHING I NEED AND MORE! And for once in my life, I'm enjoying every hour for what it is, right now.

-- madeline (runner@bcpl.net), October 04, 1998.