The above is one way of dealing with it.
Seriously Todd, from this/other posts I think you're trying to figure out how to get started with street/people photography and you are stalling with some issues - mostly ethical, a few technical. I can offer a beginner's perspective as I started recently with essentially zero experience - you're way ahead of the curve with 30 years. So take this all with a grain of salt - I'm just relating what I've done on my own (which may well be a dumb way to start).
For me it came down to are you going to do it or not. There was nothing left to rationalize. I started about 8 months ago going up to SF in different areas using B&W trying to figure out what to do. Results were not very satisfying - I probably have a couple of pictures I really like from that time.
For the last 3-4 months I've been mostly shooting in just one area in SF (also on Muni and CalTrain). I've really learned the area, people, know what to expect, have a level of comfort/safety, etc. It's very crowded (not necessarily ideal) with many people interacting in different ways. This has helped with the what-if-people-don't-want-their-picture-taken self-doubt issues. I just do it, no one has complained, been ornery, etc. Some are stealth, most are not.
I've seen a big improvement by concentrating in one area. BTW, this wasn't a planned strategy, just the way it turned out - so I'm going to stay there awhile longer while I learn. I have other ideas for later on. Have probably shot around 1300 frames during this period and have printed 100-150 I like. I'm pleased with the way this has worked out. Perhaps a suitable corner/park/cafe in downtown San Jose would work for you?