The greatest influence on my life was my first writing teacher. Not only was he extremely competent and brutally honest, but also publicly derisive if he thought your work sub par. Looking back, I no longer think that his derisiveness was a character flaw so much as a calculated technique to winnow out the weaker willed. (As I recall, it worked extremely well.) Unfortunately, for many, honesty is just as painful. Later, when I taught, I rapidly found out for myself that you could either be your student's friend or mentor, but not both.(posted 8820 days ago)In regards to my comments, I'm not expecting you to agree with me - yet. (Rather obviously, since if you did, you wouldn't have posted it.) But I am saying that that is my considered opinion - and one not taken lightly. In fact, that is why my first post was (relatively) more circumspect. However, the subsequent (warm, fuzzy, and misguided) comments, while probably reassuring at an elemental level will not be helpful to you becoming a better photographer - no matter how many sheets of film you have to practice with. My last comment was mainly in response to them. I am not particularly fond of Altman's photo either, but it is, I think, an excellent counterpoint to yours since it is so close in subject matter, tone, and technique, yet so different in execution. And I wouldn't have spent the time and effort to go find it if I didn't think it would be instructive.
The key to becoming a great (or even half-way decent) writer or photographer is learning the art of self-critique. All that another's comments can really do is to get you to re-examine your own critical method. In this case, look at the two pictures and try to determine for yourself what makes them different. Once you can do that, then you can judge for yourself which is preferable. (And we might continue to disagree; conversely, you might might be able to explain your picture to me in such a way that I see it in a new light.) But you will not be able to judge your own picture until you can let go of it emotionally. After all, it is neither the embodiment of your hopes and dreams of being a photographer nor of your relationship with the subject; it's only a piece of treated paper.